"Life isn't fair"

[Barbara A]

Many times these things don't seem to cause a slightest flinch in other people I try to share my thoughts with.

-- F60.3

Took this quote away from the "splitting" thread so as not to derail that thread.

I can relate. I feel as though one of the most callous things someone can say/do is to give a casual shrug and say "Life isn't fair." Does this particular gem drive anyone else to the brink or is it only me?

[Sweetsara]

yupper totally bonkers! With me it's all these little "gems": "Life isn't fair." "There's always a reason for everything that happens." and the ever popular "It's all part of God's plan."

[malign]

I understand that certain phrases that people say may not be useful, whether because they're the wrong thing to say or they're timed badly, or whatever.

But, just because I'm twisted that way, what I am curious about is,

What would you suggest people say instead?

These are likely to be more positive, and maybe you can even say them to yourself?

[Barbara A]

I understand that certain phrases that people say may not be useful, whether because they're the wrong thing to say or they're timed badly, or whatever.

But, just because I'm twisted that way, what I am curious about is,

What would you suggest people say instead?

These are likely to be more positive, and maybe you can even say them to yourself?

Something revolutionary. How about taking a stand against the unfairness, give a damn, you know, something human. The idea is to be more fair, not less.

I am, of course, talking about unfair treatment, actions and words of other people which they could (and should) have done differently, not just random life events like floods and accidents, which things people usually give more of a damn about.

[Barbara A]

Sweetsara, yeah, those drive me totally bonkers too.

[bezoman]

That's a fairly major trigger for me. But I have a lot of triggers. I'm trigger happy, one might even say.

My personal favourite: "Smile more."

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi,

"Life isn't fair" is belittling, like you're a little kid. I hope I have never said it and hope you will let me know if I have made that error. I had to put up with that when I was growing up. It drove me crazy and made me feel like I was wrong for feeling what I was feeling.

Allan

[Barbara A]

Hi,

"Life isn't fair" is belittling, like you're a little kid. I hope I have never said it and hope you will let me know if I have made that error. I had to put up with that when I was growing up. It drove me crazy and made me feel like I was wrong for feeling what I was feeling.

Allan

It makes me feel like more than just wrong, it makes me feel like the one saying it doesn't care.

[michmomof1]

yupper totally bonkers! With me it's all these little "gems": "Life isn't fair." "There's always a reason for everything that happens." and the ever popular "It's all part of God's plan."

These gems drive me nuts too I hear it all the time honestly i think it makes me more depressed. my thought is just stop saying these things to me and just listen thats all i need.and an occasional hug every once in a while

[randomperson]

The people in these forums get it. It is about listening, caring. It is not always about what you say rather what you do. I can't tell you how many people I ran into that turn a blind eye to other's pain.. yet when they are hurting run to others saying make it go away.

Less now than in the past.. because those people don't tend to stick around unless you are doing something for them or suiting there needs.

If they see you hurt too much they simply leave.

I have been hurt for a bit now so most of those type have long left my life.

The few like that still in my life I was still helping, but I think they are in the process of leaving lol.

The one I hate is when they start talking about other people having things worse.

There is always people worse off.. and always people better. But like Allan says it is a little insulting.. like them saying toughen up it ain't so bad.