Being a coward

[Ayumu]

A moment ago, I was feeling like a coward. I am watching American History X, and I can't stand watching the characters behave in a way that can lead to conflict. For example, saying something that will offend someone, and lead to fighting. It reflects my personality in general. Being absolutely careful about what I say. I have anxiety issues, and can not stand violence. I can't even stand testy conversations with my peers.

I don't trust my friend. One of my closest mates I have known for about years. He does kick boxing and I am always weary of how he is going to behave. Hes never played up before, or done anything to make me feel this way. I am a coward and a horrible friend.

About a year ago I decided to change the way I think, in the hope that I would become more productive. I was narcissistic. And was sick of feeling like shit. However, back then, I was full of confidence. Despite the fact that I had a low self esteem, I was strong. And now that everything changed, I have no confidence. I don't understand these new feelings. Can someone give me some advice on where I can improve my life. How I can be less of a coward and a better friend?

[Buttons]

Hi Ayumu,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, however I want to reassure you that you are not a coward for feeling this way. Not liking confrontation and violence may just be part of who you are.

You say that you do not trust your friend. I don't think this makes you a bad friend at all, there must be an underlying reason. If you are comfortable, would you mind telling us a bit more about why you think you are having this issue with trust? And these feelings of being a "coward"?