lost5656 Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi, I am excited to have found such a forum where I hope someone could understand me and even help me.I'm a 21 year old guy and having problems in identifying who I really am.I don't have a permanent and healthy view of myself. It keeps on chaning according to situations and people I spend time with. It usually changes twice a day sometimes I can keep a personality for more than 3 days.I have problems differing habits from personality, for example being a quite person. I can't determine whether it is my own personality- who i really am or a bad habit formed over the years. This only is an example of many such cases.My brain is mostly occupied with thoughts, of how I should be and which 'personality' is the best for me.By personality I dont mean choosing to be angry, polite, competetive or laid back. The need to change I experience is related to what my style should be, my personal appearance, my values and goals.I just want to have a stable personality which is healthy but simply cannot differentiate from what I am and what I want to be. I can't draw any boundaries. Examples of me- I find my self getting interested in god and religions and quickly start buying books about it, start searching the internet for information and start behaving in accordance with religous teachings. To this point I feel happy, this state lasts for a couple of days. But slowly I get into it too much, I devote myself to the subject that it starts feeling unreal and uninteresting and I completely switch off from this mode.-I start to behave in a perfectionistic manner, I start to overly plan everything tidy up all my belongings groom by appearance. Again I feel happy and normal. Up to a point where I get sick of the extra efforts I have to put in to live this way and again switch off and start to live a more care free life.Its like I devote myself to a cause so much that It gets out of control and I want to change it to a different me.What do you people think it is? I don't know what this is..I have thought of suicide a couple of times but immediately got rid of that thought.Thank you for your time,have a good day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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