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Where do you get comfort from?


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What a great idea for a thread, ToBe. :)

I comfort myself by doing things that soothe me, and give me pleasure and joy. Here are my big three. :o

Music: I love listening to my favorite music. Sometimes I'll sit alone in the dark and put my headphones on and "fall" into the songs. I feel so awed by the beauty of the sounds that the joy overcomes me at times. I'm an introvert and a feeling type so this is like filling up my well of happiness. It's very self-connective and soothing.

Nature: I watch scenic videos or even go outside to soak up the sounds of the birds or the feel the warmth of the sun. I try to "feel" everything...the wind blowing across my face, the honking of the nearby geese, the scent of the flowers, the beauty of the sky...It's like an exercise in appreciation and slowing things down...feeling the moment.

Writing: I love to write poetry. I love describing beautiful things. When I do this, it's as if I connect with those beautiful things and feel them through me.

Those are my methods, but I imagine everyone has their own that have to do with them.

I actually also very much enjoy expressing joyful thoughts/feelings so this exercise has been soothing for me, ToBe. Thank you. :(

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Mine "list" would be similar to IJ's. I listen to music - IJ's description of it stands for me as well, or I'd like to take a walk in a park (/nature) - but that's not often possible, so I do it very rarely, I used to write poetry for many years, too (mainly very sad, even suicidal, poems - when I felt badly, it was the only way to get at least some relief...), but I don't anymore (I can't; I always have the feeling that "I've already expressed everything possible for me to express, I have nothing more to say" which sounds strange, but I really feel it everytime when I'd like to write something to get a relief), but now, I write the letters to my therapist, which are a good, althought only temporal, way to get some comfort. And when I'm not too much hurting, reading a book is a great think to do to overcome bad moods.

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I find I want warmth. Warmth is soothing to me. I used to climb into a hot bath when I'd been crying, that was always good (dries my skin out too much now).

If I feel very miserable I get into bed and pull up the duvet or pile up some blankets and snuggle. If a cat will oblige, I lie and stroke her. I take out easy-reading novels from the library and dive into one of those - it blocks the sad thoughts, for me, when I focus on the story.

I also eat. I would also have bought cake! :) Or chocolate. Or I eat things like pasta. Carbohydrate cheers you up, it apparently helps with serotonin levels. You have to do this one sparingly... :)

The other thing is warm drinks. Cocoa, hot milk, even a cup of coffee. I swear by hot milk - with cinnamon, cloves, a dab of vanilla essence and a wee bit o' sugar. I find this very soothing when I've cried and it also helps me fall asleep.

I have to laugh at myself. My soothing methods are very primal and physical - warmth, being snuggled up and having something warm in my tummy. Happy baby! :(

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for me i think its reading when im in the mood, once i read i get really caught up into it and block out the world. Writing helps me i used to keep a notebook for my journal writing but i recently started doing it on my computer so i can read my handwriting lol. It helps me though esepcially when i cant sleep . Watching movies or dvds that will make me laugh. for example im a golden girls fan and have almost all their seasons. thats one tv show i dont mind watching over and over again because it makes me laugh and it goes well with cheesecake which is another one of my favorite :( So ill just hide under the covers turn off the lights and watch whatever cheers me up.

The last thing is finding soneone supportive to talk to and that will listen. Lately its been hard because i feel like im bothering everyone, no one cares, or I need more support. thats something i need to work on.

I am interested in this topic though i think its a good idea you brought it up and hope that i too can find other ways to find comfort :)

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Might sound odd, but I crawl into the bathtub and lie down in it. No water, just the cold tub. Often when I am upset or if i need comfort I don't want to be touched, but putting myself in a small space is almost like being hugged by an inanimate object. It's often the only thing that will calm me down.

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Most of my 'seeking comfort' methods are the same as yours, especially Luna's.

I thought I was the odd one out because I climb into a hot bath tub whenever I am really depressed. But now many of us seem to get into a bath tub. I add aromatic oils to the bath water and listen to 'Skellig' (soothing meditation music) which is a major mood uplifter and anti-stress method which has worked just great for me. Sadly now, the bath tub has a leakage and I had to take it off. I may be moving out soon to a new place for a new job and I'll try to get my bath tub back.

I have a soft cuddly teddy, sounds kiddish but hugging my teddy gives me a sense of safety and security. I feel good. I have taken videos of my cute 2 year old nephew who lives in the US and was recently visiting me. He used to talk to the birds in his baby blabber, play ball with me, peek a boo and the cute little jumping games. Just watching those videos gives me instant happiness.

So my ways to destress are -

1) A hot tub bath soak with aromatic oils in it.

2) Listening to Skellig (Meditation uplifting music)

3) My huge cuddly teddy

4) Watching videos of my cute 2 yr old nephew's baby blabber and games

5) Going for a walk but I always feel lonely when I do that though refreshed

6) Sometimes posting poetry on p4poetry.com though I'm not much of a poetry person though I love writing and reading

7) And now, writing to this website, posting my confusions and seeking feedback from all you lovely people! :-)

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I can relate to so many of those strategies, and I've also used different ones depending on the state I am in. Sometimes silence works wonderfully for me, I need it, it's almost like having a migraine and not being able to stand any stimulus. Now I allow myself that for a few days until the worst has passed, and then I know I need to reach out and reenter the mainstream of things.

I find just reaching out to the people I love, to do nothing else than talk and connect with them is helpful. After many, many years of watching me go through my chaotic ups and downs, I know people are tired and do not need to hear my sob stories anymore :), so I give them a break because I know nothing they can do or say helps much anyway, so I just talk about my work, what the cats did this morning, what my daughters are doing with their lives. I try to be light, for them, and usually it helps to lighten me a little in the process. I find that trying to pull myself out of myself is a true struggle, but usually it helps me to get a different perspective on my situation. It also brings me out of my tendency towards isolation....

Lately I've been trying out volunteer work with the elderly. I find servive very effective in bringing me out of myself, but also in giving me a sense of usefullness and deeper fulfillment. This week I helped some elderly ladies to eat and then tucked them in for the evening. When I spend a few hours with people who endure so much more than I do, I become more truly thankful for what I do have and more effective at seeing the blessings in my life.

Then there is of course the hot bath, getting comfy under the down comforter on a cold winter night, reading a good book, painting a fabulous painting, exploring all those sensations that offer flavour and dimension to life....

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  • 1 month later...
Today I watched a movie that made me sad and made me cry. So, I went and bought a cake to make me feel better. I wanted to be comforted and it is the only way I know how to do that. Does anyone have any ways that they use for comfort when they are sad and don't have anyone to lean into?

My 1st favorite comfort thing is my ferrets, I go into their room, or bring them into mine and just watch them play with reckless abandonment.

My 2nd favorite comfort thing is a nice hot bubble bath and a good book on disc while I enjoy my bath.

What's your favorite kind of cake?


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