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Am I paranoid? This isn't normal?


trav1085
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Hello all. First of all I am 16, but recently I am realizing something.

I've always had a fear of the dark. I mean, when I think about it I think "It's normal, lots of kids have a fear of the dark.". I really could not see how my parents could go into the dark basement, all the way down the stairs to turn on the light switch without being so freaked out.

Not just the dark, but I mean, like being home alone has always freaked me out. There are so many sounds that one hears. I have a very logical thinking and when I hear sounds my mind immediatly will try to find a logical source of the sound... it usually fails to find one but I dismiss most noises I can explain as just the house settling from temperature changes, stress, etc.

This has been normal my entire life. I am at home right now, my dad is sleeping right in the room I am in and I am at my computer. I moved my chair and my floor made a noise in the direction of the kitchen. The light is on there but I can't see anything in it, there are two entrances, One in the left corner of my eye and one behind me.

I've noticed I always am checking at areas that lead to me and I sometimes get this feeling that something is watching me or there. Just writing these words is making me pretty paranoid.

but this has been normal for me.. I don't about it that it might be strange. I am always thinking that there might be somebody in the house. when I walk at night sometimes I run to my room to avoid walking by the open door of the laundry room cause I can't see what is in there.

another thing that has plagued me so much is I hate the thought "there is nobody in here" or thinking that something bad is impossible. to me it seems if I were to say "There is no way anybody would ever be in my house at night and I'm worried about nothing" that the opposite is going to happen because I thought it. this kind of thinking seems to be selective- sometimes I don't have problems with saying something won't happen and sometimes I do- but generally I try to completely avoid talking about something as being "impossible" or not going to happen.

This is something I haven't thought about too hard but now I'm beginning to realize at 16 I should not have fears of darkness or being alone at my house..

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