Death Benefits

[Fox1990]

My mom and i have financial issues; yes, i know, everybody has financial issues. We were able to pay the rent but it was late and the landlord was not happy.

The day before yesterday my mom's truck was repo-ed.

My car hasn't been driven in a year because the battery was bad and i had no insurance (it's the law to have it hear where i live), just couldn't afford it.

Someone loaned us the money to get my car up and running. Great, right? I should be happy.

I went to the insurance office today and signed papers and the lady looked up to me,

"Who would you like to receive your death benefits?" she asks.

I stare at her, "Death benefits?" I ask.

She goes on to explain that if i died in a car accident the beneficinary would collect $10,000.

$10,000 is a lot of money.

For weeks now i've been thinking of suicide, even going as far as to plan it.

If i purposefully had a car accident, and it looked just that, an accident, then only God and i would know the true fact. My mom could make something for herself.

This is going over and over in my mind. It's churning. It's become an obsessive object and i find myself observing the whole scene in my head.

Really, it's starting to sound like a plan.

[flander]

Step back and try to think about how your mom would feel if you died. Who is going to help her when you're gone? The $10,000 minus whatever your burial or cremation costs isn't going to go that far. IMHO, it's not a good idea.

[Fox1990]

I appreciate your reply Flander, but please don't try to guilt me. That just makes me feel even worse.

[shanrucas]

I totally agree with flander, in this day and and age 10,000 dollars does not go far at all. And funeral expenses would eat up most of it, it wouldn't leave much left to pay bills. Besides it would devestate your mother and whats left of the money would be much comfort at all then loosing you.

I know how devestating it is to have problems devestating. I care for my mom who needs 24 hour care, her medical costs and home caregiving is through the roof. when whats left of her assests is depleted she will no doublt have to move to a nursing home with will be devestating to her, I don't know if she would even survive the with depression. for now she is happy to be home. If she passes before then I know I would no longer be able to keep our home. I will be come homeless, since I don't have a job due to having to take care of her. These thoughts have men hauntine me almost everyday. But I know if something were to happened to me it would be worse for her and I don't want that to happen, I am the only family I have.

Again, 10,000 dollars sounds like a lot when you say it, but it isn't really. Its a one shot deal and it goes very quickly, not worth it for your mother. It wouldn't even pay for a decent car for her. 20 years ago maybe, and I do mean maybe. So I don't know what else to tell except that plan would not have the result you wish for.

Shannon

[Fox1990]

I don't need some fancy funeral. I don't even want one. For all i care she can plant me in the backyard.

[shanrucas]

Ok...so ok so you get buried in the backyard..and you mom gets all the 10,000. the point is its not a lot to live on for long. So there must be other underlying issues. 10,000 isn't going to fix it.

I don't know what kind of supportive words you are looking for, all I am saying that crashing your car wouldn't solve much at all. In fact even if you were buried in the back yard without funeral expenses to worry about wouldn't be a good solution at all. Have you exployered other options and if so what were they.

[Fox1990]

Yes, of course there is underlying issues. The suicide isn't just about the money, i said that i had been thinking of suicide for weeks before.

I don't know if i'm really looking for supportive words, i just...i don't know, thought it less lonely if somebody else knew what i was thinking besides just me.

Other options? what do you mean?

[flander]

I appreciate your reply Flander, but please don't try to guilt me. That just makes me feel even worse.

I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I'm just telling you that I don't think it's a good idea no matter what your situation is. If your reasoning is help your mom, the 10 grand would only be a temporary help. After it's gone, then what? You are of more value to everyone that you know if you are alive than dead. As the old saying goes: "it is better to be a live dog than a dead lion".

Also, a resolution to whatever problems that you're having could be right around the corner and you just don't know it yet. A friend's uncle shot himself in the head apparently because he was tired of the pain and all the other crap that goes along with cancer treatment. I guess he also figured it would be doing his family a favor. Unfortunately, the autopsy showed that the treatments worked. No remaining cancer cells could be found. He had beaten "the big C" and could have had another 15-20 years of life. Enough to see his grand kids at least. Killing himself didn't solve anything. It just created more problems.

[shanrucas]

I know that there isn't anythig I can say that can make it better other than, that I am here to listen. I don't think anyone should feel alone during times like this.. Having experienced those thoughts myself.

When I meant other options, I only meant on the finacial end, fincial assistance of some sort.

I hope you get through this. It's a tough rough world out there and I know I for one spend a lot of time hiding from it even though I know thats not necessarely a good thing.

Im listening

Shannon

[Luna-]

Fox - there are a few problems with the plan.

You may not die in the accident. You may just be maimed or brain-damaged.

Insurance companies will look for any reason to get out of paying. Suicide is usually an exclusionary clause and if they get even a whiff, they won't pay.

No sum of money will compensate your mother for losing you. Ask her.

[flander]

Fox - there are a few problems with the plan.

You may not die in the accident. You may just be maimed or brain-damaged.

That's true. The guy in this car lived.

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