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I Feel My Sanity Slipping Away a Little Everyday


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A lot of people have told me over these past 2 weeks now, that I have to be strong. That this will pass and things will get better.

But....I can feel my sanity slowly slipping away now, day by day. I think yesterday was one of the best and worst days so far. And I couldnt handle it. I am just going to tune out.

I have always been an emotional guy. I have always been weak that way. Some people have the ability to bounce back when things like this happen. But my mind is not able to grasp all of this. And the emotional and physical pain is too much to bear. I dont think I am suicidal anymore. I do think that one day, soon, I am going to wake up and my mind will just be gone.

Is is possible to go truly insane from heartbreak?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Pete,

I am responding to your post "for your sake." :rolleyes:

Seriously, unless I have missed your posts elsewhere on this site, I am not sure what has happened to you except that a girlfriend has broken up with you. Could you clarify for me and provide some details?

However, I will try to respond based on my assumptions that someone has broken your heart by breaking up:

It may feel like you are losing your sanity because rejection, loss, ending of a previous romantic relationship, etc. are very painful and even excruciating.

Please remember, I do not know you and, thus, cannot say whether or not you are becoming mentally ill. If you feel suicidal, if you cannot go to work, if months have gone by and you still feel like you did the first day, if you have stopped functioning, if you are "hearing voices," any of these, some of these or all of these could be symptoms of mental illness.

Yet, I want to be very careful with you by pointing out that if the relationship only just ended and you feel grief, then, you are not mentally ill and instead, you are in mourning.

It would help if you told us some more to help all of us understand.


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I have been suffering from mild depression for a long time. Used to take Paxil. However once my wife left, I went from mild depression to major heavy duty situational depression. I have an appt on the 18th with a Pschycistrist. I have been going to counselling and Tues will be my 3rd visit.

I just dont have the will to go on. And all I want to do, is hide in a corner, and wait. When I drive down the road I cry. When, I come to work, when I am at work, when I go to my AA meetings I cry. I cry everyday now. I destroyed my family and now the bills are piling up. Soon I may become homeless. I have terrible worry. I used to be paranoid but that has intensified.

I am scared to check the voicemail because I dont know who left a message..

And I am in such physical and mental anguish, that I dont have the will or strength.

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I know the pain of having someone walk out (and she never came back--no happy ending there, but after a long time I moved on). I know that doesn't help much except to say that I'm not completely unfamiliar with this pain of rejection and loss and desperation. It feels like it will never end, and even when you try to look at it realistically you know the end is not just around the corner.

I did just read your earlier thread/messages (not sure how I missed them earlier...?) and I would like to remind you that when you posted originally, you said you were breaking down about every half-hour or so... Now that it is once or a few times per day, it may feel worse (it ALWAYS feels worse than the last time!), but realistically it sounds like it is actually becoming less frequent. I know each moment can seem so desperat and like you just can't go on.

Please keep posting. When you feel desperate and don't know where to turn, write a post. Even if it seems incoherent or you want to post random thoughts or poetry or whatever, if you keep us in the loop, we can provide some kind of support, which you so desperately need. Even if you post 100 times in the next few hours or days, I promise you I will read every one.

Do you have any close (male) friends in your area who you don't have to drink with? Someone who could come over to your place, or who has a house where you could go when you're really feeling rough? Someone who will just encourage you and be supportive (yet help you not drink, too)?

You aren't alone, even when it feels most like that.



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Some of the worst agonies of my life have involved the breakups of long term relationships. But this does pass with time. Honestly and truly the pain from such breakups does pass with time.

Breakups can knock you into depressions. They can unhinge you in ways that you are vulnerable to being unhinged into, for instance, if you are bipolar, a breakup could push you into a mood episode. A breakup can feel like the end of the world and can make you feel suicidal for a time. But all of this is temporary, or at least has the possibility of being temporary if you are open to change in life.

Hang in there. It will ultimately get better.

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Life can be unpredictable sometimes. There are problems and situations that you can't control unless be passive about things. Like dealing with the worst situations in life. Every problems have solutions you must be compose to be to handle the situation. From there you can change on how you can handle difficult situations just don't be hard on your self, as long as you this, all the solutions you never have will come to you.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Pete,

Wow, you are dealing with a lot: Wife leaving and feeling loss and abandonment, going to AA meetings and coping with feeling awful.

I want to agree with all that has been said: Hang in there, it will get better.

By the way, you mention something that I want to direct you Away from:

You said that the holidays are coming and you will be alone. Stop youself from that thought and make up your mind to Not Be Alone. See a friend, go to a million AA meetings, see family, get a date, to to the movies and see lots of them, etc: whatever works for you. But, do not convince yourself that you will be alone and miserable. Do not make this a self fulfilling prophecy.


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