Fear of... success?

[Jetliner]

Nevermind.

[Athena]

Hi John,

Your thread is already buried six deep and I think you only posted yesterday. Anyway, something intrigued me about the title. Actually, I guess I'm trying to figure out how it relates to the main problem you want help with, which - please correct me if I am wrong - sounds like self-sabotage. Anyway, that problem happens to be on my mind right now, big time. Yes, it is a horrible thing to constantly have happen to you. Sometimes you figure out why you do it, sometimes it just mystifies you.

I think somehow it is related to a lack of self-control, at least it is in my case. You get so emotionally involved in something that your brain flies out the window, and that inevitably leads to poor judgement. So how do you get control back? Well, if you find out the answer, let me know:D, perhaps somebody else will chime in here with the answer. Anyway, that's all I can write right now or I'll take over your thread, I really came to the site to talk out my problem.

Athena.

PS: You seem to have removed yourself from the site. Are you the one with the adorable little girl?

[Jetliner]

Nevermind.

[Athena]

Self-sabotage is exACTly it. It's like, I do things that I know I shouldn't, to ruin things I don't want to ruin for... what exactly? Cause I don't feel I'm worthy of, whatever it is? Cause I feel so insecure that it will be ruined anyway so, better to do it on my terms? I don't know. It's all subconscious and it makes me nuts! Well, not nuts but, it's frustrating. Almost like being on autopilot - I want to go left but the control are locked in a right turn.

Man, does this ever resonate with me:eek: And I have asked myself exACTly the same questions. Lately, I've been asking myself, "How would a normal, well balanced individual act in this situation?" It worked for me the other day, but not today hence "I keep losing it" thread. Maybe it will work for you.

Athena

OK, the lightbulb just went on, it didn't work because I forgot to stop and myself that question!

[dame71]

I often found myself bringing up the issue of self sabotage in recovery over the years - but the best way I have found to challenge it on a daily basis is this:

SELF-SABOTAGE= any action/decision etc that will increase your suffering in some way - or even keep it the same.

SELF-SABOTAGE= opposite of self-care, self-care being anything that reduces your suffering (on a larger scale)

For example, I might be distressed and not want to eat. But, I question myself - will this result in increasing or decreasing my suffering.

For me, this technique works for every aspect in my life. I hope you also find it helpful.