Hi all in sps forum

[Nessie]

There is nothing positive to say about a small penis, no one in thier right mind would want a 4" penis.

I can say a lot of positive things about a 4" penis...but then I'm gay, e.g., someone even having a penis is a huge plus in my book (no offense to any women reading!).

Regardless, if you have a partner that is very much into giving oral sex, then that is actually a very good size to work with. Some people may also feel threatened or intimidated by something that is larger.

It sounds like you are more obsessed with penetration, though?

FWIW, I wonder whether the penetration aspect of sex is really the most important for most people? It gets so much focus....but I for one almost never experience penetration on either end and yet I feel that I have a very enjoyable sex life. I think great foreplay is worth a ton, no penis required there. Even though I'm not experienced with women, I always hear that clitoral stimulation is a big thing, so I'd imagine penetration isn't necessarily going to do much in that area?

I guess what I'm saying overall is that there are so many different aspects about sex that don't have to be about you or your penis in order for enjoyment to be had on both sides. And I think that's kind of what's it's all about.*

*Note: I'm not always successful at practicing what I preach, but trying to stay positive here for my own sanity, too!

[IrmaJean]

From my perspective, it's all in the expression of feelings and the sharing of self with a loved one. In the same respect, I appreciate that not everyone shares my perspective.

Nessie, I like your positive energy.

[samesame]

You're not kidding anyone with those positive's. Thats like telling a man with no legs he will save a fortune in shoes, and some women find mens feet disgusting. It may be true but not really likely.

I know mechanically the size doesnt make as much difference during sex as most on this board would believe.

Again and again for myself the problem comes down to shame. Knowing that the women know, and then later on knowing that others will eventually know. Just people having the knowledge Im small, as well as my own knowledge Im small is the bit I cant get over. Avoiding exposure is the only way.

For me the choices are get comfortable with suicide or get comfortable with reclusion. I cannot see myself getting a job, going out and making new friends, then dating, and then being able to achieve an erection and have sex again. While at the same time as making that monumental kind of effort, knowing that I will have to face that shame and possible humiliation again.

effort Vs likely outcome = a gamble not worth taking. Im done with this fight, Im too old, out of time, and cannot win. As a coward I have to decide to get comfortable and find myself happiness in seclusion. Im a loser either way.

[flander]

Maybe I'm missing something. Unless you want to be in porn, what does having a small penis have to do with one's employment? I know employers like to throw a bunch of stupid things into the yearly evaluation process, but I don't think anyone is factoring penis size into whether or not the employee is competent at their job.

[Nessie]

You're not kidding anyone with those positive's. Thats like telling a man with no legs he will save a fortune in shoes, and some women find mens feet disgusting. It may be true but not really likely.

I would argue that what people find attractive and appealing is highly arbitrary and changes over time...and varies on which part of the world you are in.

How else can one explain why the Greek culture left a legacy of small penises in much of the art they created? Because they thought a small penis was attractive and a large penis grotesque.

How else can one explain cultures where women are encouraged to get fat because it's seen as attractive? And yet other places, emaciated women are somehow the ideal....and other places where....

And hopefully you get the idea.

I'm convinced that what people find attractive is actually highly arbitrary. You can choose to buy into that and make yourself miserable because you can't live up to some impossible ideal if you want...but you can just as easily not.

It's really up to you.

I think the best thing to do is to see if you can find people that don't ascribe to this flavour of the day phenomenon and who, you know, actually like real people.

As an aside, I wonder how women with really small breasts cope on a day-to-day basis. Not that I care about breast size but I sort of gather that Cosmopolitan magazine covers just about single-handedly would make many women feel insecure...Or at least, if they showed mens bulges in the exact same sort of way, I know I would feel inadequate (and probably angry that they are pushing this ideal on everyone).

Anyway, it's very easy to hide penis size but breasts are much harder to hide. I wonder if the fact that we can hide makes it much easier to harbor shame because it's somehow a dirty secret that we just can't let anyone find out about?