goobertron Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hi all, I have been on this forum on and off in recent times, I was a regular (ish) poster last summer but have drifted away since. Not really sure where to start with this one. I have 2 'inta-linked' issues going on in my life at the mo. Firstly I have an addiction to masturbation (developed during secondary school, I was bullied and when I got home I wanted to relieve stress), which usually involves me 'doing it' at least on average twice a day. Often the material used is of female friends (through facebook). The reason I can think for this is down to the fact I have met the people in real life, if only once or twice, and this helps to make the 'fantasy' more real. Initially this didn't bother me but in the last 18 months it has begun to bother me (though not to the extent that it stops me doing it for whatever reason). This brings me onto my second point. My habit, partly brought about the downfall of a long term relationship and was the catalyst for the break up. I confessed to my ex what I had done, regarding masturbating over friends (including some of hers) and of course she was horrified and we broke up (she did still want to carry on, but I ended things, perhaps through shame?). Despite this my habit has continued and this scares me, it has already caused major problems (with a breakup) and yet I haven't stopped? I am currently interested in a new girl but my habit continues. Part of me is scared that unless I stop the habit I will need to 'fess up' to her at some point if things develop? I am having counselling at my university, and I went initially with the intention of discussing my habit, yet our sessions have drifted away from the topic and focussed more on my mental state of mind which has also not been great, I am still not over my ex, at least with regard to blaming myself for the end of the relationship). Unfortunately I do not feel confident enough to try to being the sessions back towards my habit, primarily because my counsellor being very helpful, is firstly a woman (I am not being sexist, I just feel with regard to my habit it is harder to comprehend for a woman) plus she is of an older age which doesn't make me feel comfortable talking about it. Perhaps I need to talk to a specialist counsellor (sexual), though being a student I am not in a financial position to do this, unless you can do it through the NHS (I am in the UK). I feel as long as my habit continues I am not comfortable with myself as a person. Any thoughts people?P.S To the Mods, I realise that perhaps this should be in the sexual issues section of the forum (please move if needs be), but I notice it is rarely visited and I was hoping for at least a few replies from people since it is something I could really use some advice on asap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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