tash28 Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi lindaThe only withdrawal that I can say I have had with caffine is that is I dont drink enough cups of coffee in a day I will have a headache. I have cut down on my amount of caffine I have last year as the headache were getting so bad.I drink coffee to keep me awake and going throughout the day but then it could have the effect that it may stop me from sleeping. This is why I try and stay away from caffine when on a manic.Anyway how are you doing. How are you feeling now linda. I hope you are ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi tash Ok sounds like you are aware of the effects, still, try and keep a daily log.Me, my switch flipped saturday morning. I got up and cleaned and more specifically bleached my counter. For anyone who knows me this past year that is the first thing I do when I feel good even when i dont even realize it. So saturday was productive, I was exhausted though, I kept the balance but with my activity of dusting and cleaning, my chest started hurting again pretty bad. i think there is residual stuff going on from my lung clots from the summer because I know the clots are diminished but there might be some permanent damage which makes me short of breath and in pain. So sucks to be me even feeling good!!! And I knew I cycled out of the depression because I didnt sleep last night and the hour I did sleep I had a really bad nightmare so no sleep but I am functioning today on the tired side though. Just wondering and taking it slow, I am almost too hypervigilent of "me" because I am so scared of feeling good anymore. it is such a short time and the depression is now much much longer then it ever used to be. These couple days of feeling good every few months is disheartening if that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hey Tash..How are you doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tash28 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hi shannonNot great I went to see my doctor today at the urgent clinic. What a waste of time they said come back fri to see my doctor they wont give me anything. I just broke down and said please help me. They said they cant as they are not my doctor. Where is the bloody support when you need it the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tash28 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I just cant cope lindaMy managers called me in yesterday and said they have noticed a big difference in my moods and they felt that if this carries on then I will prob not be able to work in health and social care anymore. I told her I had bi polar and im trying to sort it out. I said that I have a doctors appoinment fri to talk to the gp. She said as I am a senior member of staff that I should have know better then to let it get this far and that she was disappointed in me for not acting on it sooner. I feel apart by this time and just said Im so sorry.Im sorry linda if this has made no sense I dont even think it does to me. I have had no sleep in days and am tired and low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Thats just not right Tash, sounds like that clinic doesn't recognize an emergency when they see one, is there another one you can go to? As for the managers, thats just as disgusting and somewhat predjudice I think, what if you were sick with some other ailment like diabetes or cancer, I bet they would treat you different. Thats the problem with mental disorders, people face the stigma of it all the time, they seem to think we have control over it and don't see it as a true medical issue. I know that here our rights are protected by such things, an employer can't use mental disorder as an issue to dismiss someone from there job if they are able to do it. I hope they don't use this against you, if they do, see if you can fight it. I think they should look at your work history and know better and be more supportive. Here employers even help get someone in treatment for addiction and are more supportive, true not every employer does this but if a person has a good work history and has had no issues while on the job they should be supportive....I hope you find help soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 .............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tash28 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 Hi linda and shannonIm a senior care assistant and work in a home to support adults with learning disabilities and challenging behaviours. I love my job and will do anything to support the people I care for. I will go in on days off ect to take them out, take them to appoinments there is no one bit I will not do for them. I dont get paid for everything I do for them as I like spending time with them and making sure they are happy. its all about covering ourselfs and making money to my manager and the owners and it is bloody wrong. If we are not making them look good or making them money then this is how we get treated. I have been saying for ages that this is not right we should be thinking about the service users but im wrong for saying that. And for saying that I should not work in health and social car. Think that is more of a reason to stay in health and social care if you ask me.Yes I know I struggle with my moods but I dont ever take them into work. I had a few days off last week as I know I wouldnt be able to keep a professional head on so thought it was best to stay away. Im going to saty off work now for a few more days because I know I cant control my moods at present and I wont give them the best care they deserve.I know what right and wrong and they are bloody wrong they are bastards.Who the bloody hell do they think they are telling me maybe I should not work in care then in the breath saying your sp passionate. Fuck off you bastards. They are making me bloody crazy and confused.sorry for rant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 My thoughts are with you in this. Your right in thinking to please the customer be it in any field especially one in which you are their only support.The more I learn the more I see we are all very alike. All of us struggle with things to a certain degree. They are no different than us in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 Rant away Tash, its ok, I don't think I would feel any different in the situation. I sorry you are going through this after it seems to me that you have gone above and beyond in your job and you do act responsible when you take the time off cause you are not feeling up to the task. I know of and worked with others who act irresponsible just on there own without any disorder and they don't face that kind of prejudice. I myself had to deal with it when I was diagnosed while still employed in a job that I had been doing for years, never mind that I was suffering before, but as soon as I was diagnosed and was being treated and doing better, thats when it became an issue..go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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