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I can't produce thoughts


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I am not sure whether this has a place in here as i have never done "cognitive reframing", i mean not in this way.

The thought that creates anxiety is that i cannot produce thoughts. I lack creativity and i struggle when others are being creative and having a laugh. I do understand what's going on but i can't do it myself. I get very anxious and feel totally paralysed almost in a state of panic. At these moments i feel that i can't literally produce any thoughts.

Does this belong here?

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The thought that creates anxiety is that i cannot produce thoughts.
I get very anxious and feel totally paralysed almost in a state of panic.

Does the anxiety have to do with not "producing thoughts" or does it possibly stem from the social interactions themselves? Are you in therapy, Sherzade? If so, have you discussed this with your therapist?

As far as getting in touch with your creative side, you might consider what feeds your soul and brings you joy. Try allowing yourself to connect with that. I'm a feelings type of person, so I'm moved very easily, but everyone is different. What do you enjoy doing? I'm sorry this has been upsetting to you.

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Thanks for your reply IrmaJean.

Social interactions do make me anxious for different reasons. I grew up feeling sterile intellectually. I lack(ed) the capacity to be innovative, spontaneous, creative. This was one reason why my brothers called me stupid and laughed at me. My mum thought that i was seeking attention, when i was in fact struggling to make sense of the world around me.

I feel that i do not have the capacity to participate socially like others do. The panic comes at the realization of that. I listen to them and when i think of participating i feel so stupid and sterile. Hence i isolate myself and spend most of my free time in my bedroom on my own.

I've been grieving and mourning, which didn't make it easier to fight depression as you can imagine. To find joy and beauty in my everyday life were my new year's resolutions. However after 8 days succeeding, i was robbed by a big guy and it seems that the thief took with him (again) my new capacity to feel joy and left only fear and sadness :(

I am therapy and my therapist is aware of this all. I guess this is part of a long and slow process.

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I'm sorry that you were robbed. :rolleyes: This must have been very frightening. I hope that you are sharing your feelings about this with your therapist.

I have also suffered from social anxiety, Sherzade. I have mostly worked through this, though sometimes will still feel inept and left out. One thing that really helped me was to realize that everyone is human and flawed. As Malign says, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. The people you are with likely have their own anxieties and insecurities and aren't focused on judging you. Sometimes it helps to start out talking about subjects you're knowledgeable in to ease some of the initial pressure. The main idea is to simply be yourself.

You mention feeling sterile. Is there anything you might focus on that brings you to life? Could you possibly counter negative thoughts about your intelligence with thoughts of your competence? What are you good at? What brings out the best in you? Perhaps today you can find one thing to focus on that you like about yourself and let yourself feel that. What do you think?

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Thank you for your reply Irma Jean. I am talking with my therapist about being robbed.

I am gifted in some ways. I am very good at helping others. In fact that's what makes me feel really alive. I am a super woman for others and impossibilities are many times turned to possibilities. But the moment i am on my own, there's nothing i seem i can do or be for myself. My relationship with myself is not the greatest. I exist for and through others.

That may be the work i have to do?

Perhaps today you can find one thing to focus on that you like about yourself and let yourself feel that.

I will try to do this. To think about what i like about myself and what i like doing for myself. I will take a bath to start with. I can already feel my tears coming. It happens when i try to think of something i like in me.

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I read something that might help on feeling better. It is called one minute praising.

When you catch yourself doing something right (or approximately right) take a moment to tell yourself what you did right and how good you feel about it.

pause for a bit and enjoy the excitement and happiness of doing something good and encourage yourself to do it again.

Thing that struck me on this task when I read about it. It counters the normal patterns of beating ourselves up over mistakes. Thus promotes positive thinking and positive self esteem. Just read this yesterday so no clue if it works or not lol.. but what can it hurt :rolleyes:

Edited by randomperson
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I am very good at helping others. In fact that's what makes me feel really alive.

This is something that we share. :)

Try thinking of your giving self, your nurturing self, and then give the kindness back to yourself. You're helping others when you do it, but you're taking care of yourself too. So it's okay to do that for you as well.

I exist for and through others.
Yes' date=' this is something to work on. Hopefully in working with your therapist you can learn to do things for yourself and know that it's okay to do that.
I will take a bath to start with. I can already feel my tears coming. It happens when i try to think of something i like in me.

Yes, be gentle, patient, nurturing and kind with yourself and allow those wonderful qualities to shine through. They are your beauty, right? Take care today.

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Hi IrmaJean and ramdomperson.

I haven't been able to reply to your posts as i haven't felt capable to try out your suggestions.

I seem to be in a place where i can't yet think about me in such a straight forward way. Somehow i feel as if i am going through some transformation. I am ok being alone, which has never happened before. Somehow i am feeling slightly liberated as if i was discovering that i am in fact free. Anxiety provoking but also exciting.....

I think i will soon be ready to try out what you suggested me.

Meanwhile let me thank you both for your kind suggestions.

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Guest ASchwartz

Sherzade,

I am wondering what you mean when you write that you "are not capable of trying out the suggestions?" Have the suggestions stirred some uncomfortable feelings or thoughts?

Allan

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It is a odd feeling. As if your eyes are being opened for the first time. The world seems ..different. It is scary but a good scary.

I been there and know what you are talking about. It is the first step to getting better :o

This is a big deal you should be very proud of yourself.. and congrats!!

It is a slow path we all travel together there will be ups and downs but the main thing to remember we are all in this together and to not give up :(

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I am wondering what you mean when you write that you "are not capable of trying out the suggestions?" Have the suggestions stirred some uncomfortable feelings or thoughts?

Hi Allan Thank you for your reply.

Yes, i felt quite overwhelmed by the idea of actually appreciating myself, my qualities. It has always been a struggle to do it. I usually reject compliments whilst i long for them (or to believe in them) intensely.

I think that i am not consistent with my qualities. If i am or do something "positive" now, i will destroy it later on and disappoint people. So i don't think that i deserve to think about the positive aspects of myself as the flip side of them is destruction. Do you know when the good /isfeels bad? :(

I will do it though. I was actually trying and having small successes. But then i was robbed and got very very scared. I think i interpreted that experience as my joy, my well being being stolen once again as it has been stolen many times in the past. It was as if the thief had told me: "how stupid! Trying to be happier! Don't be ridiculous"

So i actually hated me again for trying again and having someone stronger than me stopping me from doing it. Again.

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It is a odd feeling. As if your eyes are being opened for the first time. The world seems ..different. It is scary but a good scary.

I been there and know what you are talking about. It is the first step to getting better

This is a big deal you should be very proud of yourself.. and congrats!!

It is a slow path we all travel together there will be ups and downs but the main thing to remember we are all in this together and to not give up

Thank you for understanding and encouraging me randomperson.

I'm so happy that you recognize "it" as a big thing. I think that this is a big thing. I think i am starting to define myself a little bit more. I hope it will stay. I hope it stays.

:(

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