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think i deleted pushed post to blog


Leo1954

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before i did what i did i now there is people out there thats going through the same thing! i am glad i can stay in the community it is hard i know switching moods i am hating to know that nitetime is almost here i can"t hardly sleep anymore haven"t been like this in a while i just needing now an out that isn"t going to be bad! but everything has it"s purpose!

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Hi Leo..I just posted on you original thread in new members forum...Im glad you are here. I share your feeling of just walking off into the sunset...I think of it often as I look out my window. Sometimes it can get overwhelming caring for someone you love. I always turn back and do what I must though. Fortunately the combination of the meds that I take help get through the days and nights..I must now realize that I need them from now on..I have made the mistake of stopping and not taking them...bad mistake for me, my cycles get really out of hand, so bad that it hurts.

I hope you hear back from your pdoc soon..Like I said we are here for you.

Shannon

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i read everybody's reply on my email i just am not doing very good right now they now as of today loading my daughter up on so much pain killers i had to get in a fight and say No he wanted her to take 500mg of vicodin & nocar plus her morphine patches and her seizure meds. i also called my psych. after i got home because i was so hysterical that i know i was having a panic attack and i also told her i can't do it anymore i need to see her now she did see me right away we talked she is saying it is not me talking? she also added another med. to see if whatever it can do thats how i'm feeling not her just can't handle much more but what else is there!

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she said that i came in as not linda but somebody else in my head which is probably true because she believed i am not wanting to be in reality because of all what is my psych. problems and i had alot on my plate i saw her for about 45 minutes because i was honestly scared she wouldn't let me drive home she called me a cab i can't get any lower i don't want to hit rock bottom again thats how i started drinking just to escape i haven't drank now in 13yrs. can't go back

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Its good you recognize the issue with drinking, 13 years is awesome. I hope that you pdoc can help you. What med is it that was added..curious, no need to answer. You need a lot of support, can pdoc suggest something in you area? I am so sorry about your daughter, must be so hard to keep going at times, its a normal reaction to get to the point that you just can't go on. You have way to much stressful situations on you plate, not to mention you are doing this with a mental disorder which intensifies it all. I often visit that rock bottom feeling.

Hang In there.

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she put me on abilify along with lamictal with aplenzin with klonpin

i know what she was saying i am scared to say kinda embarassed to say i disosciate with other so i can focus what i really have to do just to make sure i can take care of important matters that i have to do right now i don't remember have the things i have been saying or doing because i guess i can't also memories of bad things when i have to move into that house next week right now-----------------

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HI

i am moving to my old house that i grew up in there is so many bad memories that i had blocked them out until i was 40 yrs. old now i am moving into it because i really at this point have no choice it isn't going to have anything in there but my stuff but it is enough to take on some more thoughts that i again have to deal with my daughter is excited but has no idea she has enough problems and i am going today to look at a nursing home her lawyers have found that i am thankful for they are doing everything i decide on which one i still love her very much i have forgiven her in my heart !

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Hello Leo. I received you PM.

I am sorry i haven't read your posts in the bipolar threads.

I think that if you feel that you need urgent help, you have to first go to urgent help and then start a thread.

I did read something you posted on a thread i started.

You are going through a lot at the moment. I can imagine that is really hard to go back to a place charged with bad memories.

You are reaching out for support, which is good. It's also positive that your daughters have lawyers helping her and you out.

But as Linda, i am curious about what you said re forgiving her.

Please be gentle and caring with yourself.

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Guest ASchwartz

Lindamomof7,

Thank you for explaining that to Leo. I hope it helped him. All of us really do the best we can but it just happens no matter how much we try. Its not deliberate. Again, thank you.

Allan

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