my brother died and i am not very alive either

[Sherzade]

Just the simple fact that my therapist went off to a "Christianity in psychotherapy" conference a few days ago has led me to doubt that he does not judge me.

Would it make a difference if he had attended a conference on "Buddhism in Psychotherapy"? Psychotherapists become interested in so many different forms of personal development and also of the development of cultures, believes, faith groups...

I find it so interesting how your first association to Christianity is judgement. I grew up in a Christian town but my family didn't practice it for political reasons. One would think that i was not so influenced by it but only in my therapy i realized how much of my "castration" or self judgement (especially sexual) was as due to the internalization of the strong religious aspects present in my culture.

My therapists is very interested in the bible and when i first realized it i was very surprised. I then understood that he is interested in its symbolism almost in an anthropological sort of way.

I wouldn't like to have a therapist that moralizes me. But this is as well my rejection of difference, wanting him to be just like me. The same.

Trust was my big first thing in therapy. I still wonder why is he still there. But he is and i think that despite of the huge difficulties he does care a lot. No matter what religion, approach to psychotherapy, books he reads, music he listens to, he does care. My work is to accept it.

Regarding love Leo..... i suppose that i was so excited with my insight that it felt as if i was discovering something very new and important

And now 2 weeks of family and holiday are waiting for me. I think i will enjoy it. I really need a break.

Take care and speak on my way back.

Thank you for your support and care.

[Athena]

Sherzade, I may have got off track with the Christianity thing. I think it is more of a society thing. The man's job to ask, the woman's job to say "No", for the appropriate amount of time, circumstance, whatever - otherwise people do not respect her anymore. I'm finding it helpful just to address it head on with the man in question - love interest, therapist whatever - and see if they give you a response that makes you feel comfortable or not and that you believe is not just some line.