The hardest part of the day

[Waiting]

Every day there are things I do and many of these have become almost mechanical. Of all these various tasks, the hardest one is searching for jobs. It grinds at me all the way through. I have been searching for almost two years now. Every day I search.

From a depression point of view the best I can do is to find no jobs that apply to me. It taxes me less. If I find a lot it causes a lot of depression.

I believe the reasons are because

1. I am fighting to get my old job back.

2. I feel I will gain their intrest because other invariably will have more experience than I for it. The field my experience is in won't hire me because I was fired.

3. If people are interested in me I will likely be declined because of my criminal record and proceedings.

4. If I get a job it will be far less money than I was paid before.

5. I was fired for what I believe was unjust and unfair reasons.

6. Because it keeps me thinking about the financial trouble I am in