Leo1954 Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 I can feel so much anger building up that I am even yelling at people driving even though they are going the normal speed limit. I am having so much Dr.s actually pissed off at me because I haven't pushed my daughter on her psin meds. Now I might be crazy but why if she don't need them when she says not now! They're lucky I am bringing them in with me everytime she goes because she has to much in her bottles? Please I looked at her pain specialist how would it look if the bottle was empty & she was worse plus what if I was taking them would you know? He sat there and looked at me & said you of all people I have wouldn"t do that! Now how would he know I have them on me. Then he hands me a prescription now for percocet I am tired of this she don't know better on what to say she justs takes what I give her. I am getting so angry that I told him I'll make the next appt. when I think she needs you. He didn't like it but, I don't care. Why I don't know because I am not usually this mad at Dr.s especially for my daughter! I can't keep up they try to make appts. back to back the wonder why I am late. It's now happening to me because I changed my appt. with my psych. tommorow because I just don't want to go. I'm tired she's tired but, I'm the one that is doing it. Plus my mother today has got pneumonia had to go out and sign a DNR on her. Please my mind is on overload I haven't drank in now 13yrs. almost 14 but now it looks good. How am I suppose to feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 I'm sorry your mother is ill, Leo. I'm also sorry that the doctor appointment upset you so much. It's great that you have been sober for 13 years. That is a wonderful accomplishment! If you do decide to keep your psych. appointment tomorrow, expressing your feelings there might offer you some relief. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo1954 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 It's just not thatmy mother has been ill. It's between me getting a phone call about an hr. ago that they will see what the next 24hrs. bring. She has Alzheimers on the last stage then he told me she now has pneumonia & pur on IVs. but, if she needs a ventilator my mom has a DNR which we both decided in 2002. It's just to much is going on with her & my daughter I don't know what to think or to do. I'm just sitting here crying can't even get up to make dinner because what do I do? I had to change my appt. until the end of April now I can't depend on anything because I losing my mom when just getting her back down here & now I am having to wait for a phone call. I have appts. for my daughter that is to keep her alive. I have to make decisions in 2 people"s lives it's damn if I do and damn if I don't! WHAT IN THE HELL HAS HAPPENED? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 That does sound like a lot of pressure, Leo. You can only use your best judgment at times like these and do what you feel is right. I know that is simple to say and not so simple to have to do. I'm sorry it's so hard right now. I hope your mother and daughter feel better. I hope you are feeling better too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo1954 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Thank You I just need to have someone to help me & talk so I won't feel alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocket Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Leo, I encourage you to do anything but drink. Take a bath, take a walk, eat a double serving of chocolate cake, watch a silly TV show, go to your therapist or counselor, go see the sunset or sunrise....do something extravagant to reward yourself for all the years of not drinking, all the money it saved you, and all the good health it allowed you to have. I am sure that you will regret it if you give in to that urge. I know how it is to feel completely overwhelmed and burdened by my daughter's bipolar condition, and my desire to figure it out and fix it....and I also have dealt with alcoholism....and my father died of Alzheimers' years ago. No matter how bad you are feeling, try to keep it in perspective and you WILL feel better tomorrow, and then worse, and then better. But medicating with alcohol will not help in the long run. Much encouragement to you, and thanks for sharing. I am feeling awful as well, and I have a therapy appointment to look forward to tonight. I do tend to feel a lot less burdened after those sessions, and to get some sense of purpose or inspiration about how to deal with my challenges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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