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Blushing and Messing Up... AGAIN.


soh238
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So, I'm fairly old right now, at 20 years of age, but I'm finding that a lot of my social anxiety isn't going away.

I have this crush on this guy in my class, and every time I see him, I blush, and get really anxious. I don't even say hi or make eye contact though he has talked to me before and asked about homework and stuff and the exchanges between us have been fine.

But I'm worried that if I don't get over this shyness I will turn into the cat lady and end up eternally alone. I'm trying to be more outgoing and open towards people, but it just seems like I'm doomed.

What I'm most worried about is this guy thinking I'm some sort of freak in the way I act towards him, or thinking that the whole thing sucks for me to have a crush on him. Guys have had crushes on me, so I know that I'm not completely awful, but I just worry about that and whether I should attempt talking to him again? But he probably thinks I'm a freak you know? I just don't know what to do. This has been happening for a couple of weeks, and I just feel so dumb that I can't even muster out a few words and that I'm coming off like some loser or something. Any advice?

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This all sounds very familiar...

Soh, it's fairly typical to have some butterflies when you're around someone you're attracted to. You might try a slow approach and work up to more conversations. Smile, say hello, and be friendly. When you project confidence, others will naturally respond to you. If you are able to build on small successes, you may find yourself feeling more confident. Another good thing to keep in mind is that all of us are human. Likely the young man you have a crush on will not be focused on judging your behaviors, but will be thinking of his own. The main thing is to simply be yourself and let things play out. While you can't control his response to you, you'll know that you didn't let the opportunity to get to know him better slip away. What do you think?

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Hi IrmaJean,

I think you're right, I just have to bite the bullet and actually attempt to strike up a conversation. I think I'm just not going to focus on the possibility of failure but I will just do it so I know that I could, and that I accomplished something I didn't think I could. Even if I gave off a bad impression, I think it will be fine. The next time I see him is Monday, and I'll just say something like did he study for the final exam yet... thanks for the reply!!! I really appreciate the feedback :(

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Blushing does not mattter, he won' t think you are some freak for blushing. One girl i tried to get to know this year in class would blush everytime i talked to her, but I didnt care. The only way you can mess up is by ignoring him out of fear of blushing becuase if he does not get a response from you he will stop talking to you.

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