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Trying But


Leo1954
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I am trying to do the best I can with what's left on cylinders that I have left!

Went to see another Dr. for my daughter today & just got up and walked out the reason she said I don't want to go in I am tired I would like to go to the New Zoo. She loves animals with what she has been going through I said what the hell let's go.

Well of course my cell started ringing for the first couple of times I ignored it but,when I did finally he told me if I didn't bring her back in I was showing that I wasn't putting her interests in front of mine! Now I had to say to him what I felt and I have for 31yrs. put her best interests at heart & I would always until one of us goes! I can't believe for one time she has asked to not go I am wrong? I don't know what I am suppose to do anyway but, I haven't ever ignored her.

I am not being selfish but what if I would like to do something when I want? Not going to happen ever I have rite now more Dr.s mad at me including my own because I have to move things around because with me taking on for my mothers illness & with I learned tonight what is going on with her & something that I don't want or I just cannot deal with I know I am losing her fast but, I just can't mygod I just can't what am I gonna do without her & maybe possibility of losing my daughter that's all I have left in the entire world I have nobody so what else is left for me? I don't know!

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Guest ASchwartz

Leo,

You sound very depressed and in a lot of emotional pain. But, I want you to think about this idea: all of us spend so much time thinking about what might be or will be in the future that we lose right now. That's what you are doing. What about valuing what you have now?

Allan

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I was called in late last night that my mom has probably 36hrs. It is very hard at this time to be happy with what I have left.

I just got my mom back down here last Tuesday April 12th

She has been gone for 2 yrs. in another nursing home that neglected her & just kept her for her money! I bring her back down here and within a week I am told to call famly up north that she probably 36hrs. Now how do I feel I had to sign just to keep her out of pain and I had to sign for no feeding tube. I know I signed a DNR because she didn't want to be left with certain things. But I definitely feel that I am helping her die how would you feel if you maybe starving to death because you can't talk? I hope I am doing the right thing because god help me if I'm not!

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Guest ASchwartz

Leo,

The loss of your mother is a very hard thing. I went through it many years ago when I lost my mother to cancer long before her time. She missed out on seeing her grandchildren become the wonderful people they are.

It is just my opinion, but I don't believe you are letting your mother die. She signed a DNR, that was her wish. You are granting her that wish and that's the right thing to do. That is what I want when my time comes. It probably the only way to have a sense of control over your own death.

But, the main thing is that it is terrible to lose your mother.

I regret that you have to go through this and my heart and prayers are with you and your mother.

Allan

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