A need to talk

[Waiting]

Over the past few days I have had a powerful longing to communicate with people. I am lonely because I perceive a future with far less dialog. I am a picky talker I like to go deep into the heart of things, I don't like to be politically correct. I want to discuss the ugly bits of religion, science, civilization and everything. My partner was gifted and we could talk about anything for hours. I am a loss. I am afraid of never connecting like that again. I am afraid my life will either be lonely because I have no partner or because I settle for a partner that is not what I need.

I know I am being selfish, pessimistic and currently I have no energy or motivation. I know the wounds are fresh, but for almost two years i have been alone, but not lonely, because I knew when it was over we would be together. Not that has been taken from me. I don't blame her, I still very much love her.

I used to have a blog called happiness on hold, now I am just on hold.