But why shouldn't I SI? heavy triggering

[Guest ASchwartz]

Can I put "I'm a dumbass" in that spot?

Why not???

A little humor never hurts.

Allan

[IrmaJean]

Pseudome, I would mention the nightmares/flashbacks/numbness/reexperiencing/self-injury. I think you have described your feelings and experience quite well here.

I wouldn’t call the nightmares bad dreams' date=' they’re more like hallucinations. They feel utterly and horribly real. The sick of it is that they are real. They feel like being ten years old again. Like I’m caught in some time warp.[/quote']

I am not me

I think it's really important for the therapist to be aware of what has been going on with you. Being open and honest with the therapist about your struggles will give you the best opportunity to get the most efficient help. I agree about the importance of humor, but I don't see you as a "dumbass." I do get the feeling that when you place some responsibility on yourself for this, you could be attempting to empower yourself. You weren't responsible for his behaviors, but there are other means to empower yourself in this. You'll be taking the first step tomorrow by going to therapy. I hope you have a good, caring therapist, pseud.

[pseudome]

Thanks, IrmaJean. I can’t begin to express how much your feedback on these forums has been helpful. I didn’t hurt myself this morning. I was just too sick to my stomach to. Too tired to. I still have to finish filling out the forms for tomorrow. Trying to pace myself…or procrastinate…or something.

[danni]

hi pseudome.

It might even be easier for you to print out what you've written on these forums and give it to your therapist. Sometime it is easier to let the therapist read about difficult things than to say them out loud.