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no longer wanting to live(URGENT)


michmomof1

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Im tired of waking up everyday. I feel so alone . im there for everyone but no one is there for me. i either get hurt or used. i thought they loved me. no one loves me. thats how i feel i just want to run or do something worse. i need help but not sure what to do. if i go to the hospital itll ruin everything. I dont know what else to do. can someone tell me? i just cant do it anymore.

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Im tired of waking up everyday. I feel so alone . im there for everyone but no one is there for me. i either get hurt or used. i thought they loved me. no one loves me. thats how i feel i just want to run or do something worse. i need help but not sure what to do. if i go to the hospital itll ruin everything. I dont know what else to do. can someone tell me? i just cant do it anymore.

Hi there,

How come going to the hospital ruin everything? At least you will be safe from yourself. Lonliness is painful. Perhaps turning on the TV , or stereo can help , having that background sounds could help you feel not so alone. If you like music , then turn it on , songs that are upbeat, or is your anxious, turn on soothing music. Do you have family member s you could call? If you are not comfortable going to the Hospital, call a suicide hotline. I personally have done that before.... more then once>

I think therapy is something that would be a great benifit for you. Depression might be something that is going on , and your fighting just to survive . I have been there, diagnosed as having clinical depression. Not even aware I was suffering from it either.

Keep writing here too, but we can only do so much for you. Nobody wants to suffer in silence. Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe, that is first and foremost the major concern.

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Hi Mich,

I am sorry you are so down. Sometimes i feel similar to that. I just want everything to stop. I don't want to play this game anymore. The thing is depression is a lie. It makes us thin that only bad things happen. It makes us believe that we are not loved. It twists our perceptions.

We are here for you. We will make it together.

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thought about checking myself in the hospital for a few days its been a long time since that has happened. still not sure yet. even thought about going by a family members just to stay the night but they were busy. i think they sensed something was wrong because they called back and i was in the shower. i feel like i burden the good friends in my life enough already with the things in my life im afraid to tell them these thoughts. im sure some will be supportive, some will yell, and some wont care at all. My family is a totally different story I decided to read and watch friends which is one my favorite tv shows. seems to be working so far. I have therapy on friday. so far thats a start. its scary though i have been having these thoughts for a week now and have no idea what triggered it. maybe its because i give so much to people and they dont appreciate it in return. or the fact that im alone and dealing with so much stress. i thank you for responding. I am glad that someone out there is listening to me. Im sorry if i repeated some things.

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Hi Mich,

You are right, you do need to pick and choose who you go to for support. Many people will just not understand at all and many simply don't know how to help and are scared of making you worse.

As for burdening people try to think what would you do if the tables were reversed. Would you think of it as a burden or would you just want to help your friend / family member?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Mich,

Yes, we are listening to you. And, don't think of us as "out there." We are real and we are right here.

I came across an interesting article today. It talks about findings that reading helps people feel like they belong. In my opinion, there are TV programs that can do the same thing, like "Friends." Participating here can also help and that's why we're here.

I always advise people to think of the hospital as a safe place where they can recover. I agree with mscat, why do you seem to think that the hospital could ruin everything?

Allan

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Glad you are still with us. And you are trying to make an efftort . Your no burden to us in here, we will be concerned and worried about you.

Your family does seem to care and love you. But, please, try considering a hospital stay for a few days if the thoughts continue and or become worse. You will be safe, and they can access you, and get you hoked up with good Dr.s and therapists. It is great you will be seeing one this week . Hang in there.

mscat

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actually hospital might not ruin anything. ill do it if these thoughts continue or get worse. it might help me big time just to get away and focus on me because everything around me is making me feel this way and its scary because its been three years since i felt this bad. i promise you all i will go if the thoughts get worse. thank you for the support it helps.

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Hope your feeling a little better today. You mentioned giving so much and not feeling appreciated. Maybe it would help to set boundaries to lower your stress levels. It is always good to help others but not to the point where it effects your own health. Sounds like you have a lot of friends. You should go out with some of them and relax, even if it is just for lunch.

It is hard being alone. We all need to socialize in some manner.

Kinda built into who we are.

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