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It's happened again!


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I now know what happens when you think you are trying to help a loved one when she can't speak, move, or even think for herself.

I just can't fathom how hospitals & nursing homes keep losing my mothers DNR!! It is so heart wrenching when I got another call tonite from her nursing home that her DNR was lost.

I don't believe that they understand how I feel that I keep having to do a DNR again!

I know that it has to be done but they have known again for the last 2 days that it was not there again. I want so bad to just scream out to the world WTF!!!!

I can't keep going out there for this to just act like it's a piece of paper oh well no big deal here is another one.

And rite now with her not having one if she codes guess what they have to try & bring her back. I can't keep doing this and try to deal without feelings which I have pratically have to do for the sake of my daughter. And now she is schedule for a 48hr. EEG next week she is coming home with it because they know I know what to do & how to work it. Then she gets a break for a while then she is going back in the hospital as an inpatient again for spinal fluid checks and maybe hopefully she won't need the shunt.

I know I can deal with everything that is knocking me back again. I haven't even had a chance to go see my therapist honestly I jus forgot I don't think I have seen her since March I don't even know the date. I can't keep living like this the only thing that is keeping me in this area is my mom. Once she goes I want to leave don't know how or where I have no money but, I don't care me and my daughter are going to go I have to to much pain in this state. Want Out!!

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