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need MUCH more sex...


heavenandhell
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I'm lonely and I want love and I have a lot to offer. I wrote a similar thread in the relationship section but I wanted to approach this from a more sexual angle. I'm considered good looking and I'm healthy but I hardly ever get sex. I've had sex before and I'll have it again but it doesn't happen much. I'm in my late 20's. I think I half want it to be really meaningful so I hold myself back and half don't know how to get sex really. Something like that. People who know me say I'm picky.

I've also read that when you're having sex with someone your brain releases chemicals that make you feel more bonded and connected to the person and that this weakens the more people you have sex with. Am I over-thinking it? I think it is great to have really close, loving sex and have that bonding function well (which it wouldn't as much if you or the other person or both had had a lot of partners).

I have a huge sex drive and most of the time have to just make due with masturbation and porn. Everyone is talking about sex all the time. Then I hear stupid problems like the woman not being properly pleased by the man or erecticle dysfunction or people doing things they're not proud of, being really "easy," being slutty. That makes me feel even more left out because I don't have those problems. I do sex very well just not very often.

Am I too uptight? I've read that the average number of sex partners is usually 7-10 depending on the country. I know some people that have had 20, 30, 40 or more partners and they're not even older than their 30's. I think that's disgusting. Nothing more than baggage, possible STD's, and degrading something special. Should I just loosen up?

Edited by heavenandhell
added info about porn...
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From this thread: http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=5028

So I am working on how to get women who I have chosen to also choose me, because I have learned that it takes triggering women's emotions in order for them to want sex.

...

The goal is to get to a point where the decision to have sex or not is your choice, as opposed to having the decision not to have sex forced on you, or choosing to have sex with someone you'd rather not just so that you can say you've had sex.

I found this. This might be part of the problem. Also simply not finding that many people I'm attracted to. Then when I do there's often an obstacle, sometimes even a practical matter. I'm regarded as good looking, smart, etc and I'm not religious. There is simply no real reason for me not to be able to have sex a lot more. It doesn't really make sense. Maybe I should just be part of the norm these days and jump into sex right when meeting someone even if you regret it later or don't work out and are together for just a short time?

Edited by heavenandhell
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