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seeking advice/support - parent of adult with bipolar


rocket
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I have 27 year old daughter who I enabled all her life by not allowing her to take responsibility and have normal consequences and healthy boundaries...I always padded reality for her, and I feel responsible for the way her bipolar developed, as I do think that there is some genetic factor and also some experiential/conditioning factor from your upbringing.

It sure did not help her.

She has moved home after a couple of years of some not very healthy living abusing RX meds and alcohol, needed to go to hospital for a few days, and came to live with me after agreeing to my rules for now...that she be home every night by 8 and no visitor. I did that to set some boundaries for my own health and it was so hard for me to do given how enabling I am and how afraid I have been of confrontation with her.

To my surprise, she responded well to those conditions and is following the rules, but now I want more!! She is refusing to get treatment, working full time which is great, I'm proud of her, but without treatment I am afraid she will move out soon as she has enough money saved and go back with the friends she drank and abused with....

I cannot control her, I dont' want to, but I love her. I am afraid she will kill herself one way or another if she does not get treatment. Her therapist will not see her anymore unless she is in a treatment program..the crisis she came to was too serious and the therapist decided to set limits, I guess, but my daughter is not heeding that advice.

Living together is very stressful!!! Any attempt to talk about issues/boundaries results in a terrible rageful or very hurt/suicidal reaction.

What can I do? Should I insist on treatment as a condition for continuing to live with me? I want her to experience support groups which she has never done, I think it would be great for her. I have been stressed nonstop by her moving back in -- there are many stressors for us both..but I am glad she is alive and not drinking.

Thanks to everyone for any support and feedback you might offer.

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