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Maybe theres a chance for me yet......


shanrucas
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This is the first time I have posted here. I have had my share of failed relationships thats for sure. The two major relationships I have had were disasterous for me. One was so abusive on all levels I nearly lost my life...then the last one I thought was for good wasn't..I raised his two kids while their mother was in prison and as soon as they got older it was like ok..Im done with you your fired..talk about having the rug jerked out from under feet. Not to mention this came about as my mothers health was failing, a time I needed support. Definately thought that was the last relationship I was going to ever have and was pretty much ok with that. That was about ten years ago. I have been in a place of darkness and despair ever since mostly because of my current situation with being a primary caregiver.

Then a special man came into my life, we have not been intimate in the physical sense by all means, but I feel the intimacy on the intellectual and emotional level is more than I have ever experienced before in my life. It is refreshing and gives me hope of the future. I feel for the first time in my life, (I am 50 yrs old now) that I am getting to know someone they way I should. When the time is right to take it to the next level..which I hope we can, I feel that it will be ever so right because we have truly gotten to know each other first. I don't know what the future really holds because of what I am having to deal with currently, but at least for now it is giving me something to look forward, something I haven't had before. At the very least I have a friend who knows me and accepts me for who I am. It is getting me through the darkness and despair of the confinements in which I live.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is never to late to give up on hope, love and companionship in the true sense.;)

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I'm so glad for you shannon. That is one thing you should be talking about. Now I maybe have hope but, I doubt it very seriously. I have made a promise to myself that I'll never, ever get married again two strikes and hey shame on me for going on a third. Please I might be somewhat crazy [hell I am] I just can't see it in my future just to many bad memories, and losing a child because of abuse [twice] is to much. Have enough on my plate now. I have thought about when my mom passes I have to get out of this state. I am just not sure yet about what I have been thinking what I might have to do about my daughter I have to think of her first, but what I have to do I pray I will make the right decision. I'm glad you have somebody hey, take one day at a time at least you're not jumping you are taking your time.

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I hear what you are saying Leo...After my last failed relationship I closed my heart off to any possibilitis of companionship, or even developing anything remotely like close friendship even..told myself that I had my chance and failed, and now my only purpose was to take care of my mother and not even look beyond that. I was slowly loosing what identity I had. It seems to me its during times like this in my life a surprise awaits around the corner,, mostly cause I wasn't looking at it..Now I have a chance to maybe do something right for myself and this man..taking it slow is the key here and he understands that. So my friend..you never know what maybe waiting around that corner when you least expect it..

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