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Are all teens like this?


soaring eagle
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Oh god my son is 17 yrs old and turned into a real pain in the ass.

It makes parenting not so fun anymore:(. For instance he doesn't want to look for a job and expects me to give him money, doesn't follow my rules like curfew is 10;00pm,doesn't do any chores and my life has got to revolve around him.

He drinks and I received a few phone calls from emergency,police. I love him but now it feels like I can't wait till he turns 18 gets his grade 12 and move out.

I love being a parent they are both joys in my life but God my 17 yr old is just a pain and wished he was out right now. What makes it worse is that I don't like feeling this way.

Is anyone else feel about this?

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My oldest child at home is only 15. She already has that "home away from home". She has a good friend whom she seems to spend all of her time with. It is almost like my hubs and I have visitation she spends so much time there. I have told my daughter that if she wants money for things that she wants, does't need, she needs to earn the money for them. Wheather it be by cooking dinner for the family for a week, gives me a break. Or wheather it be by doing other things like washing the car. As far as her chores go, she gets to go nowhere if they are not done first. I don't know if this helps you or not, seems to work for us.

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My oldest child at home is only 15. She already has that "home away from home". She has a good friend whom she seems to spend all of her time with. It is almost like my hubs and I have visitation she spends so much time there. I have told my daughter that if she wants money for things that she wants, does't need, she needs to earn the money for them. Wheather it be by cooking dinner for the family for a week, gives me a break. Or wheather it be by doing other things like washing the car. As far as her chores go, she gets to go nowhere if they are not done first. I don't know if this helps you or not, seems to work for us.

Thanks:) I think my eldest just turned into a huge pain and my feeling aren't accounted for it just seems like I should kick him out and let him find out how the real world is but at the same time I signed the dotted line when he was born and can't give up on him.

The good part is that he doesn't get into trouble with the law still in school and in alot of ways he's a good kid.

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I can understand that just being a pain that you're talking about. He is still in school, so we do have that parental responsiblity to provide for our childrens' NEEDS. There is a reason those other things are called DESIRES.!

Please be firm when you feel you must. If we as parents are not firm when we need to be, it can lead to disaster. I have learned this through bitter experience.

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I can understand that just being a pain that you're talking about. He is still in school, so we do have that parental responsiblity to provide for our childrens' NEEDS. There is a reason those other things are called DESIRES.!

Please be firm when you feel you must. If we as parents are not firm when we need to be, it can lead to disaster. I have learned this through bitter experience.

My problem is that I was a child in a very abusive home. So what has happened I became the opposite by being to soft:(. And having no parental guidance that I never had as a child sometimes I don't know what parenting really is. Sure they have a good home I cook,bake,clean having a safe environment for them is real important. AS a child I use to dread going home because I didn't know whether I would get beat up or yelled at.

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From what I've read it is pretty common for people who grow up in a violent home to go to the other extreme of providing no structure and being overly indulgent with children. I grew up in a violent and unpredictable environment though and I flat decided not to ever have kids for fear of perpetuating the cycle. Kids need structure though; I feel like I am an expert in this area because I grew up with zero structure and not knowing where the boundaries were was behind much of my frustration and misbehavior.

There is a book called "Growing Up Again" by Clarke and Dawson which addresses multiple parenting styles and recommends an age appropriate mix of negotiable and non-negotiable rules. When kids are younger they need more firm rules (not abuse or insults) so they feel protected, but as they grow up the rules need to be more negotiable so they learn responsibility and how to become independent. This book might be a useful resource in improving the relationship with your son.

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Oh god my son is 17 yrs old and turned into a real pain in the ass.

It makes parenting not so fun anymore:(. For instance he doesn't want to look for a job and expects me to give him money, doesn't follow my rules like curfew is 10;00pm,doesn't do any chores and my life has got to revolve around him.

He drinks and I received a few phone calls from emergency,police. I love him but now it feels like I can't wait till he turns 18 gets his grade 12 and move out.

I love being a parent they are both joys in my life but God my 17 yr old is just a pain and wished he was out right now. What makes it worse is that I don't like feeling this way.

Is anyone else feel about this?

Your son does not respect the rules at home nor does he take them seriously. Somehow you got to show him that you mean buisness, and that their are consequences to his behavior. your not the bank. i know it is hard but putting your foot down right now is very important. I would not ever give my 17 yr old money if he has not worked for it or deserves it. Recieving phone calls from the police, well, I would allow the police to take him. Especially when he is so out of control , drinking at his age, skipping out of curfew, are all behaviors that should not be tolerated. Let him suffer the consequences . If he goes to Juvie, it night teach him their are limits to his behaviors.

Coming from a absusive as a child and having horrible experiences to remeber from your past is difficult once you have your own kids. But, allowing the child to get away with bad behavior will not erase what has happened to you. Those are 2 separated things. One is about you , and the other is about your own child.

Your son has learned to take advantage of you and feels like he can do anything he wants because their are no consequences. He knows that you will bail him out, or go soft on him . This kid has learned to manipulate you . Even though he is 17 years old, he still needs guidance from his parents. He still needs somebody to use tough love, and know what your expectations are of him. He sounds like a real handful though. He has to learn how much you are angry with his choices and that your not going to enable him anymore.

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Guest ASchwartz

I want to join the ranks of everyone else on this thread who reports the fact that teens are a pain. My wife and I enjoyed our twin daughters until they became teens. Then, they turned into horrible creatures from the black lagoon. :) Oh, was it fun....NOT.

Now, at the age of 38, they are wonderful.

Have hope, this too shall pass.

Allan

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:)

From what I've read it is pretty common for people who grow up in a violent home to go to the other extreme of providing no structure and being overly indulgent with children. I grew up in a violent and unpredictable environment though and I flat decided not to ever have kids for fear of perpetuating the cycle. Kids need structure though; I feel like I am an expert in this area because I grew up with zero structure and not knowing where the boundaries were was behind much of my frustration and misbehavior.

There is a book called "Growing Up Again" by Clarke and Dawson which addresses multiple parenting styles and recommends an age appropriate mix of negotiable and non-negotiable rules. When kids are younger they need more firm rules (not abuse or insults) so they feel protected, but as they grow up the rules need to be more negotiable so they learn responsibility and how to become independent. This book might be a useful resource in improving the relationship with your son.

That's very interest because when my kids were younger I was like a sergeant and everything had to be in order. eg 5:30pm supper,7:00pm bathtime,7:30snacktime,8:00pm bedtime everynight. But the time they were preteen I started being more lienent. So they had alot of structure.

If I can remember I'll try and find that book you suggested.

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I want to join the ranks of everyone else on this thread who reports the fact that teens are a pain. My wife and I enjoyed our twin daughters until they became teens. Then, they turned into horrible creatures from the black lagoon. :) Oh, was it fun....NOT.

Now, at the age of 38, they are wonderful.

Have hope, this too shall pass.

Allan

Wos yesterday my son and I were watching Star Wars when out of the blue he says he want to apply at McDonalds so he get a discount on burgers:D. He slowly coming around. My constant communication with him is helping.

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