Holy Sh&#(Graphic Language)

[soaring eagle]

Holy shit did this evening ever turn into a nightmare tonight.

My boyfriend comes in about 9pm drunk walks into the house and sits on the couch and starts arguing with my eldest son. So that asshole of a boyfriend started telling my son to get a job and he is a loser to then my son started arguing back to leave him alone. By then I phoned my sister to get over here fast by the time I phone both my son and boyfriend started fighting slammed against the door and then body slammed on the floor. I guess my boyfriend didn't realize how strong my eldest son really was (6ft,190lbs,weightlifts,boxing).

So then my son tell boyfriend that if he wants respect then he should respect him as well it's a two way street and he doesn't do nothing to earn his respect. (Proud moment from mom when my son said that to him)

By the time my sister showed up they were in the kitchen arguing more when another fight this time I had to leave the house because this was real upsetting for me.

This time my son started punching him in the face,kneed him in the face and that ended the fight. I was outside when my son came out so I started talking to him and he was telling me what he did to him. By then I was telling him that none of this was his fault and that seem to have calmed him down. But I couldn't face that asshole of a boyfriend so I kept my distance him the whole time. My son is more important then he will ever be.

Holy shit what a horrible evening I had right now I feel like drinking just to forget this day my nerves are shot,mad.

Sorry I had to rant like this but this is really upsetting

[SweetSue]

Hi soaring eagle

Oh my gosh that all sounds terrifying

Is your son okay ?

How are you feeling ? (silly question sorry)

Keep talking hun, we are listening and we care

[soaring eagle]

Hi soaring eagle

Oh my gosh that all sounds terrifying

Is your son okay ?

How are you feeling ? (silly question sorry)

Keep talking hun, we are listening and we care

My son is okay:) and right now I'm feeling nothing that is what I'm worried about I could go off the deep end. My street side will kick in and now I feel like walking out in the streets and go into the bar and kick anyone's ass right now. Right now i feel like goin to the bootlegger and get a 26 of voldka right now.

[SweetSue]

Im please that your son is okay

Hun, you dont need to let your street side kick in, I know you probably really want to, however that will not solve anything, and may only make things worse for you.

Has your boyfriend gone ? Are you safe ?

Drink probably wont calm you down any, dont suppose you got that punch bag the other day did you ? Coz that might release a little of your anger.

[soaring eagle]

the boyfriend is gone but he did phone me wanting to up there and have a few drinks with him but I said no. I know the outcome will be I'll be in a real bitchy mood and start beating on him just to let him know don't pick on a 17yr old.

I'm so mad right now can't even sleep it's going to be a long night for me.

[SweetSue]

Well its a good job he has gone.

Probably best that you dont meet up and have drinks with him at the moment. Damn right he should not pick on a 17 year old.

Is there anything that you can do to try calm down a little ?

I hope it isnt too long a night for you - Ive been awake all night and I just realised its 8:30am and its time for my breakfast :eek:

Maybe tonight I will be able to sleep

Keep talking hun, if it helps. Were listening

[soaring eagle]

Well its a good job he has gone.

Probably best that you dont meet up and have drinks with him at the moment. Damn right he should not pick on a 17 year old.

Is there anything that you can do to try calm down a little ?

I hope it isnt too long a night for you - Ive been awake all night and I just realised its 8:30am and its time for my breakfast :eek:

Maybe tonight I will be able to sleep

Keep talking hun, if it helps. Were listening

Thanks I just don't know what to do right now I'm so fuckin angry right now that I feel I should do something to get this out of my system. It's most likely exboyfriend as of tomorrow no guy should this a 17yr old.

As for my nerves it's shot.

Can't even contact the police over this because ministry will be involved and I know this is a one time incident. Because boyfriend has some respect from my son tonight for fighting back.

I'm just so fuckin mad right now and don't know what to do.

[SweetSue]

Well I'm afraid that I would back you up on the 'ex boyfriend' statement. No adult should pick on a child - full stop !!!!

I'm sorry your nerves are shot hun, what are you doing now (other than typing on here ofcourse) Have you made yourself a hot drink (oh gosh I sound like one of them old fashioned grannies, that reckon a nice hot cup of tea, will make everything better ), I know how daft that sounds, but sometimes it helps a little.

Why would the ministry be involved if you called the police hun ? sorry I dont understand.

Yes good on your son for defending himself, its just so very sad that he needed too.

Type out some of your frustrations on here if it is helping - maybe even vent a little. I know venting helps me when Im mad.....

[soaring eagle]

Minstry means social worker and it gets all complicated if they get involved that all.

But right now my nerves are starting to unwind and I'm relaxing a little bit. Which gives me to think going on drunk won't change my problem and i will get a huge hangover by tomorrow.

On the plus side my youngest son won't leave my side cause now he feels like he needs to take care of me.(what a sweetheart) and for some reason my cat won't leave my side either she wants to sit on my lap and purrs. Thank for listening to me I really appreciate all this.

But I am starting to feel better now.

[SweetSue]

Oh right yep got ya - Ive not had very good experiences with them people so fully understand where your coming from.

Im glad your calming down hun. Yeah drinking can be nice, it can also be fun...... and the hangovers so arent worth it. Stay in, chill out, and think of the money you will save..... could be a good excuse to go treat yourself and that brave son of yours tomorrow

Awww, how cute, that your little one wants to look after you. Cats can be relaxing hun, they can be really independent, but they can also sense when someone is upset.

Were only talking hun - thats all, Im just glad that you are all safe

[soaring eagle]

Anyway i'm off now going to watch lethal weapon 4 movie and munch on some pretzels and try to forget what has happened for now. Thanks for listening to me

[soaring eagle]

Well he showed up this morning giving me my key and says "Phone me when your son is out of sports" and walked out. I'm still trying to figure out what that means? And apparently he was still drunk this morning I found out that he drank all the way till 5 in the morning so he had about 4hrs of sleep.

I'm still stress out to the max and then i went on the net to take a stress test and I scored the 18 out of 20. Took another test and the score was 21 telling me it's an emergency and i should seek help. The funny part is that this is how I feel all the time.

My sister is telling me to rest but I can't sleep,eat and think at the moment

[SweetSue]

Is he supposed to be picking him up after sports to take him somewhere ???

Has he even appologise to you and your son for his actions ?

Hope that you are okay

Take care

[mscat]

Well, I think you handeled this situation pretty well. I do that your 17 yr old is A LOT more important then a boyfriend. Boyfriends can come and go, not a child , young adult son! Your son is strong and easily could of whooped a drunken man's "ass" . Of course you would not of wanted any of this to happen in the first place. Yet it did. Glad nobody else called the police either. That would be a typical american response . I hope you can calm down and feel better today. Your kids are definately more important . I am very glad that your son is ok and did not get hurt.

[soaring eagle]

Is he supposed to be picking him up after sports to take him somewhere ???

Has he even appologise to you and your son for his actions ?

Hope that you are okay

Take care

No the boyfriend never did like my son in sports and I'm thinking he still remembers last night getting his ass kicked so it was a good excuse for him.

He's not sorry by the sounds of it he it's my fault. But I did find out when he went back his place he quit drinking around 5am.

As for me I'm still stressed out not eating and became a chain smoker and not sleeping. I'm pissed right now over this whole thing.

[soaring eagle]

Well, I think you handeled this situation pretty well. I do that your 17 yr old is A LOT more important then a boyfriend. Boyfriends can come and go, not a child , young adult son! Your son is strong and easily could of whooped a drunken man's "ass" . Of course you would not of wanted any of this to happen in the first place. Yet it did. Glad nobody else called the police either. That would be a typical american response . I hope you can calm down and feel better today. Your kids are definately more important . I am very glad that your son is ok and did not get hurt.

Thanks:) I think the boyfriend was try to make me choose him over my son and of course my son will always be first. Not some grown up jackass thinks he real tough when having a few drinks.

That's right i never wanted this in the first place but my boyfriend or ex put himself in this situation.

HeHe he's gotta get up around 3am to go to work now he's going to be sore from having his ass whipped and hungover at the same time he works 12hrs for the next 4 days talk about karma:D

[Verbally abused?]

I am very happy for you that things are ok now. If smoking a ton of cigarettes is what you had to do to calm yourself, that is ok. Even when you are trying to cut back or quit. As long as you don't buy anymore, your progress of cutting back or quitting will be that much faster! Smoking was definately better than getting drunk!

[soaring eagle]

I am very happy for you that things are ok now. If smoking a ton of cigarettes is what you had to do to calm yourself, that is ok. Even when you are trying to cut back or quit. As long as you don't buy anymore, your progress of cutting back or quitting will be that much faster! Smoking was definately better than getting drunk!

I've calmed down somewhat still not eating sleeping isn't all that great.

So anywat I'm planning on texting him and it say.*You came into my home drunk,arguing,fighting,breaking items and NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT*. How is that short and sweet and to the point. I'm getting tired of men bs this is too much work for me and time that I don't have.

[SweetSue]

Do you know how tempting it is for me to add to your txt right now - but I wont, I will control myself.

Becareful not to get caught up in sending txt that could only aggravate the situation hun, it may make things worse for you. And I dont want you or your family to get hurt anymore than has happened already.

Well, if your tired of all the BS from the man in your life, you could always get rid of him.

You are worth so much more than to be treated disrespectfully by anyone, let alone by someone that is supposed to be supportive, caring, gentle and kind but chooses not to be.

[mscat]

Your still not able to eat or sleep... This sounds like you were a little traumatised . I hope you are ok. Try to keep telling yourself things are better now, and your son did not get hurt, you did not get hurt, it is ok. The BF will have to learn the hard way. I do not feel the least bit sorry for him. I have a 17 yr old son. That would be like me having a BF , and my son getting caught up in a fight . I think that would be a nightmare.

[soaring eagle]

Your still not able to eat or sleep... This sounds like you were a little traumatised . I hope you are ok. Try to keep telling yourself things are better now, and your son did not get hurt, you did not get hurt, it is ok. The BF will have to learn the hard way. I do not feel the least bit sorry for him. I have a 17 yr old son. That would be like me having a BF , and my son getting caught up in a fight . I think that would be a nightmare.

That night brought up alot of triggers from my childhood watching my sisters get beatin up:(. but on the good part my children hasn't experience what I experience so this didn't faze them.

And yes thank god my 17yr old is very strong and is a good fighter. Give it a week and my eating will slowly return to normal.

[soaring eagle]

Do you know how tempting it is for me to add to your txt right now - but I wont, I will control myself.

Becareful not to get caught up in sending txt that could only aggravate the situation hun, it may make things worse for you. And I dont want you or your family to get hurt anymore than has happened already.

Well, if your tired of all the BS from the man in your life, you could always get rid of him.

You are worth so much more than to be treated disrespectfully by anyone, let alone by someone that is supposed to be supportive, caring, gentle and kind but chooses not to be.

I've spent nearly 3yrs with this guy and I know him quite well. This will not aggravate him at all but make him think about what he has done.

This was actually a real stupid moment he did and I know some parts there is remorse. But right now my concern is for my kid not him.

[soaring eagle]

Well after a very stressful week I've finally been able to calm down and phoned him about what happened.

So he phoned me back and we had a talk:) anyway he admitted to me that he fucked up is the way he put it and feels terrible about the whole thing and right now he doesn't want to come over.

Right now I feel like he shouldn't be coming over either on account my two kids and I want them to feel safe and secure that's my first priority.

He does have alot of remorse over this and ashamed. Which is good i'm not feeling all that sorry for him, I see it let him suffer for a while. At this moment that is where we stand.

I did talk to the boys about this and they both are not as bothered by this as i am. I got thinking about this and realized that I gave them a good home by not yelling at them or hitting or being a ranting raving lunatic so therefore they are growing up with good self esteem and most of all they have a REAL home that I never had as a child I'm very happy for them:)

[Leo1954]

Do you think he is is saying this because he knows you want to hear it? Hell yeah he royally screwed up. He also needs himself face to face apologize to your boys! Let him wiggle and squirm for awhile. Now please be careful because I'm not being hateful but, you know it is a possibility it can happen again!!!!!!

You're doing the right thing keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

[soaring eagle]

Do you think he is is saying this because he knows you want to hear it? Hell yeah he royally screwed up. He also needs himself face to face apologize to your boys! Let him wiggle and squirm for awhile. Now please be careful because I'm not being hateful but, you know it is a possibility it can happen again!!!!!!

You're doing the right thing keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

I know he really screwed up and I'm not feeling sorry for him either and yes he has got to man up for what he did and say sorry to my son.

That's another thing I'm considering will this happen again? That's my biggest worry. It's always my boys that will come first not him.