Now its enough!!

[sadgreeneyes]

I was just going to write my husband, finally got myself together again, when I opened my hotmail I see an email from him asking how I am continued by "I remember you wanted to check our marital status, did you go there ( to the office) and what did they tell you?".

I was thinking what the h*ll he ask that for when he has said we are still married. Ok, so we have been divorced with revocable divorce. Unless his divorce was a bogus as other has mentioned it might be, I dont know. But that he ask now makes me suspicious even more about the status.

Anyway, my husband surely remember I said I wanted to check our marital status as he could just think over again did I go back to cam with him not knowing our status in HIS country. I can only know that by going to the county office. I cant know this by going to the peoples register. That time my husband said just ok.

So just before I go to open my mail I had just been thinking " be sure to go to the office soon and before iddah is over, to know my marital status, and not only that, I had decided to write him I just cant do this as I dont want a husband who doesnt want a family with me. I just cant. I cant because I know he shows antisocial behavior and has abused me cruelly. And a husband who threatens his wife to not ever come and say to him she wants kids and break our agreements and ignores my wishes and needs. Even saying "if my wife ( me) left me I wouldnt cry over her or feel anything:eek: It hurts me how he has treated me and broke our marriage promises. So I wrote him I couldnt do it, that he had to respect me in this or we had to say goodbye.

I just cant do it, I have been going every day for weeks struggling with this, two days ago he kinda got his way again even I didnt say its ok without kids. Now I have gone back on my true feelings about this.

He has even stated "what if someone is out for visa"!! and when asked in shock by me is he, no "I" am not, he said. Who on earth utter something like that unless he wanted to hurt me or unless there is a truth in it. Doesnt matter he is abusive, saying this plus threatening me with a life without kids can in my opinion not mean anything else than he´s 99% sure out for visa. And even it wasnt so, it hurts me a lot he doesnt keep his promises and want family with me. It hurts.

I cant let him run over me. Its enough now. If he leaves he just have to leave. I pray I am strong now this time.