DarknessRules Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 she is my friend. i love her. she is my second love. and yet she tears me apart. she is gonna spend time with my best buddy and future room mate. she could convince him to move out of state with her. i will truly be alone. i cant afford to live alone. i need things to go as i planed or i wont make it in the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted June 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 i should also explain my history with relationships. ive fallen in love 5 times. my first love died in my arms a half an hour after i worked up the curage to ask her out. my second love was goin out with my best buddy at the time. my 3rd love lied and cheated on me. my 4th love tryed to use mind games to get me to end my life. and finally my 5th love convinced me that im incapable of being loved. thats my past with love and why love hurts me so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 Darknessrules,Do not believe the last one. Everyone can be loved and that includes you.All of this must feel terrible for you. How are you coping?Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted June 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 well. ive decided to give up on love for the time being. ive become very shy over the years. i use to be very outgoing. talkative. but ever sence my second love came back into my life im very very shy. and she wants to spend time with my best buddy. that could cause problems for me. he was supposed to be my room mate. but she might be able to convince him to move out of state. im trying to cope with that but... well i cant yet... i want to someday find someone to love and that makes it easy to cope with my lost loves but this most recent problem has me fallin apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted June 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 i think i need new friends... that could be my problem... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Love can be very complicated, but some of the good things in life are never simple, even if worthwhile. Making new friends sounds like a possitive thing to do - after all you can never have too many friends Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted June 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 i recently moved. and im too shy to talk to anyone here. i want to talk to people but im only outgoing online. and through texts and calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Hi DarknessRules Yeah, I can relate to feeling shy when it comes to talking to people in real life - it can be very HARD !!!!Generally I dont talk, unless I have to - I choose not to these days rather than because I cant. But thats just coz I have trouble listening people (thanks, to the joys of audable hallucinations ), and get embarrased of myself real easily. So for me txting, emails, and this community are my way of having a voice, and being able to feel a little bit like the old me.Is there any local groups in your area you could join ?I realise that this will be a difficult thing to try and do, but usually if you look on the notice boards in local shops or in the local papers, there are classes or groups you can join. Its a good way of meeting people, and making friends. Just a thought.............Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2011 i hear voices and see shadows. i havnt told many people that. infact the first time i told someone was in december. when i was admited into a mental health hospital. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted July 1, 2011 Report Share Posted July 1, 2011 Hi You have my sympathy, Ive been hearing voices and also have visual hallucinations of people that are long since dead for a couple of years now - it drives me insane at times. :eek:Though with some people their voices are friendly.Hearing voices is nothing to be ashamed of. Well I dont think so anyway. But to be fair I dont tell people out in the real world - unless I have too. Are you on medication for the voices ?Does it help ?Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 im not on meds for it at this time. i havnt heard voices in a little while. they use to be helpful. telling me that i can make it through these hard times. not recently though. they turned on me. and ya. relationships are hard. that friend ive loved for the past 6 years. though she left 5 years ago. she recently came back into my life. last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 she told me im like a bro to her. we never dated and never will. though she sometimes blows up at me. then threttens to never talk to me again. its complecated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 thats complicated to. i love her and wish i could be with her. she knows how i feel but we dont talk about it. she made it very clear that she dosnt feel that way about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 friendship is a form of relationship. same as family and pets and so on. i wish this friendship to contenue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 what i want is to be her friend. i love her and ya i do wish we could go out but all i really want is to be her friend. to have her in my life.talking to her makes me happy. hangin out with her also makes me happy. so im willing to just be friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 hopefully thats how it will work out. we planed on that for a long time. so hopefully all gos as planed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 as do i. she hasnt been in a very good mood recently. and recently she almost died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 she almost died?Also, not to be jaded, but there is another darkness here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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