Feeling/Showing Wrong Emotions

[kate326]

Anger, specifically, has always warranted a strange reaction from me, however only from family and boyfriends. For some reason, i can remember always feelings the urge to smile or laugh when I was being yelled at by my mother or sister for as long as I can remember. And even now when a boyfriend or someone I am closely bonded to is expressing anger, I seem to feel very strange and grin widely or feel a smile twitching on my face. This has obviously made situations worse for me, as I am smiling or laughing and cannot stop and the others feel they are not being taken seriously. I seriously can't help it...even if I am not feeling what i am showing on my face. Though for some reason, anger displayed by anyone that isn't close to me, or by completely strangers, scares me a lot.

I have social anxiety. bpd. bi-polar. anxiety/panic disorders.

It doesn't make sense to not take those I care about most seriously when they are expressing anger to the point where I can't ever keep a straight face. It seems so twisted to me and now I am starting to think I am some kind of psychopath that doesn't give a crap about her own family.

[SweetSue]

Hi Kate326

You know sometimes when I was younger and I was really scared, I'd feel a smile or grin come across my face - not coz I thought the situation was funny. It was just nerves. More so if it made the person telling me off told me to stop smiling. I'd be finished, especially if I looked at one of my older siblings, and thought they were smiling too. It used to anger my parents more so. Thankfully though I over come it - in time, and with many harsh lessons learnt.

Even today, I still smile, grin - ok at times laugh, but now its only if someone falls over in front of me - or if they seriously hurt themself. Not ideal really - and its not even like Im not concerned for them, coz I am. Its just nerves, and nervous energy.

I dont think its twisted and Im sure it dosnt make you a psychopath - hmm, unless Im one too - but Ive never been diagnosed as such - and the p/docs have given me plenty of labels over the years.

Take care

[malign]

Kate,

Facial expressions don't just mean one thing, and the same thing to everybody. A chimpanzee grinning at you is about to attack.

Perhaps especially if what you feel is fear, it's hard to predict what your face will look like. By the time a person is afraid, their facial expression probably doesn't seem that important to them. Is your feeling compatible with a smile, either happy or pleased or whatever? I don't guess so, so the real question is how to deal with your fear in the face of others' anger.

{Everybody I meet seems to be afraid they're a psychopath ...}

Just the fact that you cared enough to mention it means you're not, though: obviously you do care about the difference between your expression and the situation.

Oh, and there are no "wrong" emotions. You feel what you feel. You do have some control over what you do about it, but that can also be changed with practice, if you'd prefer some other action to the current one.

[ChasingDreams]

I've noticed things like that with myself sometimes, too, and I think it is related to being nervous. I don't do it so much when people are angry, but sometimes when someone will tell me about something really bad/sad I find myself kinda fighting back a smile, but not at all because I don't care or am happy that they are going through something horrible. At those times I am feeling incredibly sad for them, and very uncomfortable, like I don't know how to respond. So I guess maybe its just the way my discomfort comes out. But it makes me even more uncomfortable><