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nothing left to give....


theunamedfallen
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as i have related in my older posts me and my wife are going through seperation. there has been violence, lying, cheating and backstabbing. we did for a short period not so long ago give it ago and it was amazing but then found out she was involved with someone else AGAIN. but i crave her attention i need to feel the love from her and dont see why she goes somewhere else to get it. i'm still head over heels in love with her and dont care what she has done i want my wife, friend and soul mate back but she tells me she doesnt care and she dont love me anymore. i dont have any family or anywhere to live and without a penny to my name why go on? seriously no one will miss me or make a fuss over me when im gone. i need to know where my need for dependancy has come from i dont want to feel it i hate her for everything but love her for nothing i need someone to tell me its going to be ok and they will never leave me or betray me carnt see an alternative way out other than leaving the shit hole called life!

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I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad right now, fallen. I can absolutely relate to being so deeply attached to/in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate and tells you they don't care. I know how much that hurts, and the feeling of utter despair it can cause.

That said, you may feel right now that there's no reason to go on, but that's the emotion talking, not reality. You have value, even if you don't see it at this moment. I've been told that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and I'm coming to believe that. If you end it, there's no chance for a change, no chance for better days. Ever.

Please take care of yourself during this difficult time. If you have a friend or family member you can call, please do. If you don't have anyone to call, or that you want to call, please consider a crisis hotline (I've used them myself, more than once, to get through the times I thought living was impossible). If you want to keep talking, we're listening.

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thank you for the reply........think im just at the point where nothing can get worse, most people would then say it can only get better but its so hard to speak positively when depression has its grip on you i try to smile and think what i want to do in life but if it feels like no one is there then there is no one to be proud of you, no one to tell you they love you and what you mean to them when will it get better??? god let it be soon....................

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You're absolutely right -- it is hard to be positive when depression has you wrapped up. But maybe you could look at it this way -- your worth does not depend on what someone else thinks about you, or feels about you. Maybe you could find something that would make you proud of yourself and feel loving toward yourself? (I know -- easier said than done...but so worth it if you can do it).

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