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Gender Confusion...


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I'm a sixteen-year-old, and I'm biologically female. Ever since a few years ago, I've been consciously realizing that I'm not 100% comfortable with my female form. Years 15 and 16 especially.

I've always been a tomboy, now that I look back. I love looking pretty every so often, but I'm most comfortable in baggy jeans. I tie my hair back so it won't sweep around my neck (I can't afford a haircut at the moment).

There's been something else, too, much more recently, and I suppose it might be a little weird, so sorry about that. I'd guess it's kind of a "girl thing." So, a few months ago, I was putting my bra on, and when my fingers randomly brushed my chest, I felt this odd surge of revulsion. Ever since then, I hate having breasts. I seriously feel sick knowing I have them.

I don't feel like a girl. I also don't feel like a boy - when I think about what it'd be like to have the anatomy of a man, it doesn't feel right, either. I've been looking up something called third gender, but even that still puts me off. None of those makes my heart settle. I've been toying with the idea of being agender, but I can't find out much about it.

I've never had a date before, though I've been asked by a few boys. I think I may have liked one of them, but I still refused - he liked my female figure, and I hated it, and the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable. I asked a girl out once, but she refused. I don't mind about not having a partner before, though. Just thought I'd throw it in in case anyone finds it helpful.

Please, can someone help me? I'm so confused, and I just want to love myself.

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Guest GingerSnap

The teen years are especially rough these days and make me glad I grew up long ago. I posted this link for someone below: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/917990-overview as I had found it interesting. You have to be careful about being obsessive about anyone area of your life if that is possible and sometimes it isn't possible. I would try to focus on other areas of my life like just having friends, activities, keeping busy and see if this might just naturally resolve itself one way or another. You might want to discuss with a trusted family member, school counselor, etc. as they might know the right questions to ask to help you be comfortable with how you are feeling. I wish I had more to offer.

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