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Unique organization for minor-attracted people


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B4U-ACT is a non-profit organization which attempts to bring together mental health professionals (MHPs) and minor-attracted people (MAPs) to increase understanding and decrease stigma. From their website:

B4U-ACT is a unique collaborative effort between minor-attracted people and mental health professionals to promote communication and understanding between the two groups. Our goal is unique and unprecedented: to make effective and compassionate mental health care available to individuals who self-identify as minor-attracted and who are seeking assistance in dealing with issues in their lives that are challenging to them. We want to give them hope for productive and fulfilling lives, rather than waiting for a crisis to occur.

Any minor-attracted person (and this could include pedophiles, hebephiles, and nepiophiles) who is considering therapy is advised to first read their Seeking Therapy page where there is a list of important questions to ask any potential therapist about this delicate situation.

They hold workshops once or twice a year where MHPs and MAPs get together, not in a therapeutic setting, but rather just to discuss issues of common interest and just to get to know each other as people, something which is very important to counter the stereotypes many even in the MH profession have. These workshops have always gotten very positive reviews from people in both groups. The theme and title of last year's workshop was Valuing Our Stories.

On Wednesday, August 17th, they will hold their first Symposium on issues and controversies surrounding Pedophilia and the DSM. It promises to be a very exciting and significant professional event.

They also run a peer support listserv where one can receive insights of others who may have already dealt with an issue you may be facing now, or perhaps where one might be able to contribute one's own insights and experiences in this regard.

I know of no other program in the country like it, and I highly recommend it.

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Thanks for this link. I've visited this site several times in the past, and I think it's an excellent service what these people are doing. Pedophilia is extremely misunderstood. My first therapist was very cold and harsh to me. She didn't understand at all what I was going through. Pedophilia will never be understood for what it is by the general public, but it's my REALISTIC hope that those in the mental health fields can have a better understanding.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Musican,

Pedophilia aroused enormous emotion in people. The reason is that it is so very abhorrent to sexually abuse a child. What complicates the problem for mental health professionals is that there is a fine line between trying to help a person recover from this vs. making it seem like it's okay. We had a community member here who not only was a pedophile but tried to convince everyone that it should be legal and that it would one day. Ultimately, he was barred from here.

When it comes to a young person such as yourself, mental help professionals are very motivated to help you, if you are pedophiliac, because they hope that save you and your life. I have very serious doubts that you have this pedophile problem and why a mental health therapist would be cold to you is both baffling and unforgiveable to me. The bottom line is that it is not that pedophilia is misunderstood but that it is feared. At your young age, even if you think you have this you can still be helped but with the right therapist.

What do you think?

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Hey Allan,

I realize that in no way is pedophilia normal. That's not the point I'm trying to get across. My point is that many pedophiles are completely misunderstood. Many want help so that they won't act out. It's a very serious situation, and help isn't so easy to come by. People have very skewed ideas on what pedophilia is, and the word has become interchangeable with "child molester." This simply shouldn't be the case.

I've been on another forum where hoards of people try and claim that pedophilia is normal and should be legalized. The admins/mods have little control over there, and it's pretty much just been a civil war about whether they should be allowed to post such things or not. What these people are forgetting is that arguments like these can be extremely triggering for both abuse survivors and other pedophiles.

My first therapist was a depression/anxiety specialist, and had little training in sexuality/addictions. She definitely was not expecting me to drop a bomb shell like I did. I felt dirty and hated when I went to see her. I think she actually breached confidentiality by telling my mother about my issues because it's pretty obvious that I'm not a threat to children, and she decided that she was going to tell my mother before I ever even mentioned that I was slightly suicidal. Anyway, I'm not angry at her for doing that because now, I'm seeing a therapist who I really like. He's not convinced I'm a pedophile, but he says that the attraction may never go away.

Edited by Musicman
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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Musicman,

Thanks for the clarification. I now have a clearer understanding of what you were trying to say. I always appreciate that kind of thing. By the way, I am skeptical about what that therapist told you. People do move on. You are very young and, in my opinion, will move on. Also, its actually true that healthy adults find children attractive. It's just that they have no wish, impulse or desire to act on it. Children are beautiful, attractive and wonderful. We enjoy that in them. It's just that the pedophile takes a huge jump from the normal attraction and appreciation of children all the way into something terrible.

Also, there is no question in my mind that there are people with those impulses toward children who know it's wrong and really do want to get better. They actually hate themselves for those strong desires. They do want help. I don't know the percentages but I suspect they are in the minority and want help.

Allan

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By the way, I am skeptical about what that therapist told you. People do move on. You are very young and, in my opinion, will move on.

He hasn't told me that I can't or won't move on, but rather, that I should not take it as a shock if I live the rest of my life with these attractions. We're currently discussing sexual reconditioning with the hope that I'll gain stronger attractions to people who are older, and possibly even lessen my attraction to those who are younger. I don't believe that I was "born" a pedophile or that this was my "fate." In other words, I don't believe that this was meant to be. However, a physical connection has already been made in my brain between children and sexual desire, and all I can hope to really do is to work on correcting it. I may be successful, and I may not. If I'm not, I can at least learn how to suppress these feelings so that I never act out on them ;)

Also, its actually true that healthy adults find children attractive. It's just that they have no wish, impulse or desire to act on it. Children are beautiful, attractive and wonderful. We enjoy that in them. It's just that the pedophile takes a huge jump from the normal attraction and appreciation of children all the way into something terrible.

This is true to a certain extent. I am aware that many (if not most) adults sometimes have moments when they find children to be attractive. However, I think that these children are usually older, and a real attraction to most of these children wouldn't even be considered pedophilia, but hebephilia and ephebophilia. There's no need for me to go in depth about my attractions here because this isn't my thread, and I've already done so many times in the past, but my primary attraction is to very young children.

Also, there is no question in my mind that there are people with those impulses toward children who know it's wrong and really do want to get better. They actually hate themselves for those strong desires. They do want help. I don't know the percentages but I suspect they are in the minority and want help.

You don't have to tell me that :P. I'm one of those. There's several other here who are also like me. I agree that the percentage is probably very small. What I've found is that it's very easy for a pedophile to convince him/herself that what he/she does is okay. I almost fell into that thought pattern. I still don't know that I'm totally out of it, as I've been questioning my morals a lot lately (though there's a good chance that these thoughts only arose because I was triggered.) Pedophiles like to believe that what they do is okay. I'm sure that some of them even think that it genuinely IS okay. As I was saying about the other forums in my last post, there's a lot of pedophiles who argue that there's nothing wrong with pedophilia. The problem is that you put too many of these pedophiles together, and they convince each other exactly what they WANT to believe.

(Whew! I don't think I've ever used the word "pedophile" so many times in one post!)

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