Re-programming

[Anguished]

I want to re-program the way I think about myself but don't know how.

The problem is that it feels like delusion to me, because I'm forcing myself to think something opposite of what seems true. Experiences of my past haunt my memory and have defined my view of self. I don't know how to break from it.

Whenever I try to "feel" different about my penis it's always inauthentic.

Spare me the "it's hopeless" responses. If I wanted that I'd just stay inside my own head.

I've only received negative reinforcement about my dick from women and men. Sometimes sympathetic understanding instead of ridicule. NEVER anything positive.

How can I change the way I think and make myself honestly believe it?

Any constructive advice is appreciated. Skip the doom; I have plenty.

[CantGiveItAway]

You could try and get away from attaching how you see yourself and what value is in yourself with relating to body parts. It might help to try and think of the person you would be if nobody had any dicks, and try and be that person. I think people can say things alot of times without giving much thought to them. And dont truly believe things or feel about stuff the way they act.

Some may also be trying to be sympathetic because they think thats how you would want them to be and caught off gaurd alittle about it themselves. The people you can turn to may not have the best judgement and be the best people to be able to talk about things with.

A positive I think could be though, is that, relating and connecting to people having nothing to do with whats in your pants, small or big. And you are just as capable of being able to love and to feel loved by someone.

[flander]

A positive I think could be though, is that, relating and connecting to people having nothing to do with whats in your pants, small or big. And you are just as capable of being able to love and to feel loved by someone.

That may be true, but seeing the disappointment on her face when she does find out is crushing.

[Anguished]

That is an interesting perspective. In none of us had dicks, I bet I would be sitting pretty. Were that playing field leveled, I would be the player of all players. To extend that, the only thing holding me back is my view of myself. What I find most troublesome is that I've met women in the last several years that are willing to look past my deficiency, yet I'm the person that can't get past it.

I've found women, or more accurately, women have come upon me without me pursuing, and some among them don't care if we have intercourse at all. They say this after awkward, unsatisfying attempts at sex, but they reiterate that they just want to be close to me.

But, I can't get past the way this makes me feel. She has to "settle" for me, even though she says she doesn't view it that way. Some women approach me because I am what is generally considered attractive, but I tend to reject the advances anyway. Also, the women that accept me are good people, but I don't feel much physical attraction to them. I know, one hell of a critique to put on someone else, that I am rejecting another for lack of physical attributes, but trying to sleep with someone I'm not attracted to doesn't help me either. I’d like to think that I could be with a pretty girl. Does that make me a hypocrite?

My hope is to start dating again soon. Specifically, I want to meet a woman that isn't interested in sex right away. I have this phobia that as soon as a woman sleeps with me she will lose interest, hence I avoid aggressive women.

Over the last 5 years, I have avoided women all together. I don't remember the last time I kissed a girl.

I think it could be that many women just use the “small penis” insult to get back at men for the many insults that they have received. Imagine a woman that is a bit overweight; she has had men disregard her in favor of skinny girls her entire life. So, when she gets the chance to turn the tables, she does in the form of attacking one’s manhood. It’s a reasonable reaction if not an understandable one.

Also, many of my bad experiences come from high school, where many women are only exposed to the most sexually active guys, which are usually the most well-endowed at that time.

I’m going to try to locate a woman that seems a little more conservative than most. Hopefully we can get an emotional connection before anything physical occurs.

However, I’m nervous that she will do the “rub-up” on me when I’m not expecting it and will be disappointed. I guess I’ll just have to get over that though.

I have a woman picked out. She works at a store that I frequent, and it’s time for me to make a move. I’m going in next week, if I can gather the balls. I'll let you all know how it works out.

[flander]

I've found women, or more accurately, women have come upon me without me pursuing, and some among them don't care if we have intercourse at all. They say this after awkward, unsatisfying attempts at sex, but they reiterate that they just want to be close to me.

But, I can't get past the way this makes me feel. She has to "settle" for me, even though she says she doesn't view it that way. Some women approach me because I am what is generally considered attractive, but I tend to reject the advances anyway.

I wish I had that problem. It certainly would make it a lot easier to find one of those women who supposedly don't care about size and/or has compatible genitalia to provide a good fit. [ As it stands, the only women who have anything to do with me are those who are wanting me to pay for something instead of wanting to enjoy my company(ie gold diggers). They're few and far in between. On the rare chance that sex is involved, I could just as well be waving a hot dog around from the middle of Cowboys Stadium. ]

[nearlydead]

I want to re-program the way I think about myself but don't know how.

1. Write down the thought/s.

2. Using David Burns "twisted thoughts" write out the wrong thinking in those thoughts.

3. Now you will have a list of mistakes in your thought process's. Aware of these, you can now challenge the negative thought, and come up with or reprogram yourself with a new more realistic or sympathetic thought.

I did all this shit months ago, but the thought of them touching, seeing, feeling and knowing I have no cock makes it all pointless.

Read some of my ole posts and you'll find more on the David Burns stuff.

[Bob1996]

I'm trying to reprogram as well. It's a tough battle.

A couple of things:

1. Crush the weak. I oftentimes think of SPS men and their whining and "never will be good enough" attitude and envision me ending their lives brutally. I then identify these thoughts in myself and do a Fight Club esque suicide. Essentially punish the wicked, cowardly thoughts with brutal violence. Accept a social darwinism of the mind, and go Al Qaeda on their collective asses.

2. Say aloud reaffirmations; you have to write down words that you want and/or should be. Strong, courageous, confident, sexually gratifying, successful, intelligent, aggressive. The moment you say them you have to believe them. Ignorance, like anger, can be a gift.

3. Reject books for pussies and start reading books for men. Books for men are about responsibility, accomplishment, improvement, self interest, and domination. Books for pussies are about self-sacrifice, relativistic happiness, and "being who you are."

- Most books written by women, gays, and liberal men are pussy books. Most books by independent thinking men are manly books.

- You can identify pussy literature in many ways, one way that I've noticed is that pussy literature (literature that encourages you not achieving what you desire) usually considers women's interests paramount to your own, even when your own happiness is in question.

Two examples; in a Dr. Phil episode they had a woman on who was letting her son grow up as a girl. There were two ex-gay psychologists there as well as two others with opposing viewpoints. One gay psychologist started attacking the ex-gay psychologists and used as his argument, "I don't like what you're saying because it prevents mothers from being as close as they want with their children." This answer drew riotous applause. The reason being that the queer psychologist stated his opposition to the ex-gay argument by framing the question around the interests not of the child but rather of the mother. If the child is beaten, confused, or unable to be happy for the rest of his life it's okay because the mother was allowed to coddle him to her desire.

The second example was by a feminist writing for the better men project. This is a website dedicated to helping men allegedly. She wrote out some untested dating advice for nice guys to get laid, even though her methods were never tested. Her big thing was that men were to know their place and not judge women too harshly based on things they can't change as well as a bunch of other nonsense. Meanwhile thousands of men have been getting laid and improving self confidence by following methods designed against what she was saying.

The point with these two examples is that if you internalize a pussy you will be unable to satisfy your basic, innate desires. You must smash your pussy with a forceful, masculine violence. That is the biggest hurdle facing the men of our age.

I don't always practice what I preach but I've seen some good in the world. It involves assuming the masculine position and all the exclusive fear and anxiety that comes with it. It's tough being a man and nobody wants to say for fear of getting labeled a pussy. But when you accept that, accept that you have to take a road no woman can get too, it's a bit liberating.

I would also suggest penis enlargement through the PE gym.

I struggle, and I lose far more than I win, but I've got a couple of victories to my credit and I hope you'll believe me that having lived those brief seconds of masculine vigor were far greater than a lifetime of lying to myself that it's okay to be a pussy.