Jump to content
Mental Support Community

i want out


Recommended Posts

Wow, sounds like a real pickle your in. Being in an abusive relationship takes it's toll and does seem to kill the love you felt for your partner before hand. IMO, you just can't get past that, therefore the love can not be rekindled. It sounds as though your children are also deeply affected, but there are a million reasons and ways they could be deeply affected. There were more than just your emotions at risk in this relationship, and they could possibly feel hostility toward you for "escaping into happiness" so to speak with the other gentlemen, yet continue to stay with your abusive husband. Maybe they feel you've chosen him over them??

As far as the financial issue goes, have you tried public housing? Your county office can help you. They base rent on your income, and there are several different associations that help people with little to no income with their rent. It all depends on the county and state. I know you feel that you are stuck in a rut, and being divorced from a man due to the same things your going through, I know it's tough. Just hang in there and try to accomplish one thing at a time, but always follow through. You will never have a good quality of life depending on someone and staying with them for financial stability. It's not healthy for you. Good luck and I hope I was of some help. Keep us posted on your situation and let us know how it goes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you tried googling housing assistance and programs in your area? Maybe there is something there that you are missing. Not to be invasive but are you in the US. If so, if you feel comfortable with pming me with the state you're residing in, maybe I can help you research online about your options.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Firstly I am so sorry to hear your story. I really feel for you all including your husband and especially your kids. I agree that your financial situation needs worked on. Can u get some sort of advice from woman's voluntary organisations or anything?

One thing that i will say is wrong is your affair. Even though I can understand your reasons you are still married and there are still vows being broken. You mention that other guy is a parent too. Is he married or in a relationship himself? Affairs are total disrespect for the other partner. Whilst your husband is going about his anger etc in the wrong way, IMO, you too are being as abusive in your own way.

The best thing i feel would be to look/address the biggest issues affecting you and your children. 1. DO RIGHT by the affair. NO MORE secrecy. 2. I really have no idea if your husband is trying to do right by your marriage, fix it, but is getting frustrated, upset by how much the underlying damage hinders that. He is still only a human being.

have u done couple's counselling? It is so effective at identifying how ur marriage may be saved such as your husband doing anger management r something, or it could be the external someone who can help your husband realise that your marriage may be over.

Overall good luck but a good start would be to address your respect for your current family unit. Your husband has his own respect issues but i feel that many of yours are being damaged by your secret affair.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope I don't come across harsh in my responses as I only know one side of the story. If you decide not to tell your husband about affair that is your choice but please consider ending it, even temporarily, until u even attention without distraction, to your marriage.

I know your husband has his own faults but i just wonder if he's trying to fix things but doing and managing it all wrong. In the meantime this poor fella's wife is having sex and companionship with another man behind his back.

Even though u may feel the affair is helping u at the moment, they can b damaging to you as a person too. Mostly self-respect and respect for family, friends & future relationships.

Whatever you do, good luck.

Edited by orchardbhoy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...