I made it a bigger issue than it was

[Karamazov]

Okay guys, here's my story. It's like many of your's to begin with. Around fifth grade, and especially sixth, when we started showering in gym class, I noticed that I was smaller than almost all of the others. I was so afraid that I told my mom that something was wrong and I needed to see the doctor (this was humiliating in itself but I was desperate). Of course the doctor said I was fine and would grow soon enough. I remained very small- 1 inch or so- until about my freshman year in high school. I went to great lengths to hide this, even quitting the football team, even though I was really good, so I didn't have to use the shower with the other guys.

The thing is I was always quasi-popular in school and comfortable around girls. I had chances to have sex with girls but if I knew they had had sex before than I would find a way to avoid it. Then probably the best thing that could have happened did.

Well let me say that at this point and up until this day my size is about 2inches long and 3.5 around flaccid. Fully erect I am just under average length and girth. This size may or may not seem average but they always seemed to me to be very small. Anyhow what happened at this point is that I met and fell in love with a girl a grade lower than me and she was a virgin. We had that kind of intense puppy love that teens get and we both had insecurities. Knowing she was a virgin gave me confidence and when we had sex there was nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. I had already learned to pleasure girls with my mouth and I learned how to move my pelvis in such a was as to give her orgasams. These couple of years with her I believe gave me enough confidence that I didn't avoid experienced women in the future.

Later on down the road I fell in love with a very experienced girl in college. I was nervous the first time but made sure to pleasure her very often before sex and it never was an issue...Until I asked. She told me in a nice way--after I pestered her--that I was smaller than the guys she'd been with. You see the problem. We had a good thing going for about six months, and I was the one who brought it up and then it was always a big deal for me. I basically sabotaged that relationship.

The point is, I dated several girls since then and never brought it up again and it was never mentioned by them. I always looked for certain qualities in a woman before we ever got intimate and maybe that had a lot to do with it. There are tons of great women out there who are looking for a lot more in a man than a big penis. If you treat a woman right and care for her and treat her like the special person she is than the rest will take care of itself. A womens greatest sexual pleasure (so I've been told) is to be able to orgasam and that doesn't happen any easier for a man who is bigger or smaller.

When I read your stories about these girls who make fun of guys to their face or who tell their girlfriends about your size I get sick. People who do this are not worth your time. They are cruel humans and are unhappy with their own lives. Any decent woman would never think of doing such a thing. I hope you guys put in the effort of finding a kind woman and developing a relationship based on things besides sex before you take that next step.

I got lucky and married a Christian woman who saved her viginity for marraige. I know that doesn't happen very often but that's okay. Like I said, a good woman will not throw away a good thing because your penis is smaller than average. Let me say that my wife is not a petite woman. She is not overweight but has an athletic/bigger boned figure. I know that I don't "fill" her vagina but like I said above I make sure she is satisfied and we've never had an issue. I hope this helps.

[lifeless existence]

I got lucky and married a Christian woman who saved her viginity for marraige.

There's always a catch.

Reality time: If your wife had 10 larger partners before you came along, there's a good chance that she wouldn't be your wife. You were right when you said you got lucky. There are very few virgins in the dating pool, especially for those of us in our 30's, 40's, and 50's. Even fewer if you're not tuned in to the whole christianity thing.

[flander]

you should be very thankful for her

[Guest ASchwartz]

LE,

If your wife had 10 larger partners before you came along, there's a good chance

With all due respect, how do you know??

Allan

[gone]

There's always a catch.

Reality time: If your wife had 10 larger partners before you came along, there's a good chance that she wouldn't be your wife. You were right when you said you got lucky. There are very few virgins in the dating pool, especially for those of us in our 30's, 40's, and 50's. Even fewer if you're not tuned in to the whole christianity thing.

Lifeless existence, I've gotta disagree with that first sentence, and I've got to agree completely with the second.

This is just from my observations of my marriage and talking to other guys. Women have a real knack for compartmentalizing. They can take something very important to them in one period of their life and making it not important in the rest of their life.

I think many of them seem to go through 2 or 3 sexual phases in their lifetime. My wife is a perfect, stereotypical example.

Stage 1...Sex for fun.

When my wife was a collage student, she wouldn't have given me a second look. This type of young lady is looking for the maximum 'bang for their buck'. (pun intended) They ain't looking for a nice guy, a husband or a good father for their kids. They're in bars or at parties looking for a smooth, outgoing confident guy (who's hopefully well endowed) to take home and have their brains *F*ed out. No emotions tied up, just pleasure. In the morning let them shower and kick their asses out.

Stage 2... Married sex (with an underlying current of sex for kids).

Size and the accompanying confidence just ceased to matter. Backwards and kinda shy, slow dependable and mediocore just became 'cute' and desireable.

My wife unpluged her 'sex module', put it away and never looked back. Some (maybe most) of the smooth guys, the players really don't make a dependable husband.

These ladies (ummm 27, 28 yrs old?) aren't looking for thrilling sex, they're looking for a working sperm delivery system. They want a house in the country with a white picket fence (or in our case, a split rail fence), a garden and 2.8 kids. The fact their husband ain't George Cloony or Brad Pitt (or John Holmes or Harry Reams) doesn't affect the dream at all, because great head throbbing sex isn't expected or involved.

I will agree that to find a virgin for a underhung guy is what our dreams are made of. Not to have to worry about comparisons with former lovers would be such a relief.

These are just my opinions. If someone out there has a better theory, I'd love to learn.

John

[lifeless existence]

Women of all ages want great sex. There is no magical switch that gets flipped at 27.

[flander]

so what's the 3rd stage? Divorce the husband, collect child support, and relive stage #1?

[gone]

Women of all ages want great sex. There is no magical switch that gets flipped at 27.

Nope, I'l still disagree. If she's 27, single and happy you've got a point. I just used 27 as around the time some women realize the clock is ticking.

The magical switch gets flipped when she meets Mr. Right. If it just so happens he's hung and good in bed, great! But she will comprimise her sex life in a heartbeat for the right guy.

so what's the 3rd stage? Divorce the husband, collect child support, and relive stage #1?

That happens a lot. Divorces filed by women have steadly risen over the years.

But I think most of the time it's just a decrease in sex untill it's gone.

After all, how many times do you hear about a long married man complaining about getting too much sex?

John

[lifeless existence]

Amazon has a ton of books about how to have better sex for women over 40, women over 50, women over 60, and even beyond. Boy, somebody should have told all of those authors that women stop caring once they reach a certain age or find the right guy. Imagine how much time they wasted writing books that nobody wants.

[gone]

Amazon has a ton of books about how to have better sex for women over 40, women over 50, women over 60, and even beyond. Boy, somebody should have told all of those authors that women stop caring once they reach a certain age or find the right guy. Imagine how much time they wasted writing books that nobody wants.

Real good point! I've read 5 or 6 of these books myself. They just confused me more, but I kept hoping.

The honeymoon effect is pretty well documented. Maybe the interest wanes when the new wears off?

So, authors have written a zillon books on how to have good sex when married. They wrote them in the 1960s all the way up to 2011. Can we safely say then that this re-training for married sex is a dismal falure? All the stereotypical jokes are still being told, the guys I know are still bitching about how little sex they're getting.

The number of divorces filed by women really has gone up. Maybe they're tired of trying to succeed at something that should come naturally?

I dunno. I'm trying to understand women in general just a little bit better, and in doing so understand my own situation. It seems to me that many young (college age) women will proactively seek out sex. They'll take the inititive, invite a guy home, put the moves on him and basicly lead him into the bedroom. One could say they seem to 'need it' as bad as the guys they're seducing. These are the same ladies who after being married a few years avoid sex at all costs. What happens?

My theory about their sex 'switch' getting turned off doesn't explain the books, but I'm going to do a little simple research into who's buying the books. Maybe it's a bunch of frustrated guys like me.:confused:

John

EDIT: or maybe my theory about ladies comprimising their sexual wants for love helps explain the multitude of books. When the retraining doesn't work, she kinda just gives up?

Edited August 30, 2011 by retr0john
Added to post

[gone]

Women don't always have a divorce because of sex. A woman can have great sex with a husband who smacks the crap out of her. So she leaves him because he's abusive.

Also retr0john, it seems you're saying a woman can only have great sex with a big penis. Maybe we should tell these lesbians what they're missing out on.

No, not at all. In my particular case yes, size seems to be a factor. In general, I do think there's a point where something is too big, or too small to be enjoyable. But for 90% of the men it's not an issue.

I just want to know......what happens? (and this isn't applicable to all women so please don't take me to task for that.) In general, with a sexually experienced woman why does she end up avoiding sex in marriage?

I don't think there's any more spouse abuse now than 60 years ago. Maybe less. Men aren't looked at as the 'Lord and Master' of the home anymore. But the rate for ladies filing has gone up. If it is abuse related, maybe they're just more willing to file now than granny was?

John

[IrmaJean]

For some of us women the greatest enjoyment can be felt with a tender touch, with a knowing look, a gentle smile, a loving embrace, in a sharing connection. My greatest pleasure has always been in the skin to skin embrace. The rest is gravy.

It's likely my personal perspective, but I can't help thinking that many simply miss the deeper aspects of this. If it belongs to the man that I love then I will want to know it, recognize and feel it, as it is.

As to your question, John, I can only answer for myself. When he is attentive to me in other ways, I naturally am thinking more about this.

Take care everyone.

[lifeless existence]

In general, with a sexually experienced woman why does she end up avoiding sex in marriage?

The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy says that approximately 50% of married women cheat, so about half of these women are avoiding sex with their husband because they're sleeping with someone else.

[flander]

But the rate for ladies filing has gone up. If it is abuse related, maybe they're just more willing to file now than granny was?

That's the result of 'no fault' divorce laws. Granny had to give a legitimate reason for the divorce other than she just didn't want to be married to Grandpa anymore.

[Notdoneyet]

For some of us women the greatest enjoyment can be felt with a tender touch, with a knowing look, a gentle smile, a loving embrace, in a sharing connection. My greatest pleasure has always been in the skin to skin embrace. The rest is gravy.

It's likely my personal perspective, but I can't help thinking that many simply miss the deeper aspects of this. If it belongs to the man that I love then I will want to know it, recognize and feel it, as it is.

As to your question, John, I can only answer for myself. When he is attentive to me in other ways, I naturally am thinking more about this.

Take care everyone.

And, for others, the greatest enjoyment in THEIR LIVES is to have some nitwit work twelve to sixteen hours a day seven days a week earning money to put a roof over her and some other guy's kids heads and denying the nitwit sex other than a few times per year.

Pf course if she and her latest boyfriend can draw the right "family" court judge, she can top it off by them ending up with the home he provided THEM.:cool:

[Guest ASchwartz]

One of the consisten themes that comes through is a very large amount of anger towards women. Why is this so? What do all of you think about this and why?

Allan

[nearlydead]

It's the way they drive.

[lifeless existence]

Gee, I don't know. Maybe because they find it so easy to toss us out like yesterday's trash for something we have no control over. They act like we chose to be this way and deserve to be ridiculed and rejected. And then there's the vindictiveness. They don't just reject us and quietly walk away. Oh no. They reject us and then run out and tell everyone they know about it, destroying our social lives and killing our chances with other women.........women who may be part of the small percentage who don't have a problem with our size, but won't give us a chance now due to the social implications of the being with the little guy.

Edited September 2, 2011 by lifeless existence

[Notdoneyet]

One of the consisten themes that comes through is a very large amount of anger towards women. Why is this so? What do all of you think about this and why?

Allan

You're projecting your hypothesis the same way you propose that we are doing.

I harbor no "anger" toward "all women". I have however little to no concern for any who have taken advantage of me.

My present preferred program for interaction with the opposite sex leaves it all on me

should it ever happen to me again.

By making it clear that I am not interested in any long term relationship, it is unlikely that

I will have any reason to be angry with women again since I don't plan to be around in any particular relationship long enough for "trust" to be an issue.:cool:

[IrmaJean]

I hope that all of you can keep your minds open to the possibility that all women are not like this. If your minds are already made up, you may not be able to clearly see the women who are caring, loving, and accepting.

[flander]

One of the consisten themes that comes through is a very large amount of anger towards women. Why is this so? What do all of you think about this and why?

Allan

probably because they do such a good job of making a guy feel like crap and ruin your life in a number of ways.

Edited September 5, 2011 by flander

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi flander,

I am sorry your experiences with women have been so negative. Are you sure that all women are that way? Have you known any women who are nice, warm, welcoming, etc?

Allan

[flander]

other than relatives, not really.

[Karamazov]

Sorry I haven't commented in a while, I've been very busy.

Just to respond to the comment about me being lucky to find a virgin. Yes I was, but you missed or chose to ignore the part about the previous girl I was with for a long time.

She was the best looking girl I had ever dated, and had been with over ten guys but my size was never a big deal to her until I made it a big deal. She wanted to marry me (granted we were in our mid twenties) but I turned our relationship so sour because of my insecurity. I am happy where I am in life, but I loved that girl and insecurity and jelousy turned something good into something dark.

I shouldn't have even titled the entry like I did. There was no issue until I made one.

[flander]

at any rate, they must view that you have other redeeming qualities for them to overlook the SPS disadvantage. Be happy for that.