I made it a bigger issue than it was

[Karamazov]

Yeah maybe I do but so do you. I really feel that the way we perceive ourselves projectes outward and is either a big turn on or turn off for potential mates.

Believe me, I took the "fake it til ya make it" approach. It was a long time pretending before I felt real confidence. And it's something I battle to this day.

And I don't want to come off like everything in my life worked out because I got a bit of confidence and met a Christian virgin. I still have deep insecurities I have to fight and have battled a pretty serious prescription drug addiction for about the last ten years. I have a felony as a result and am having a very, very difficult time providing for my wife.

I know what it feels like to want to give up and paint a picture a certain way. It gives us comfort and I'm not above it, I just want you to know that there was a time when I lost hope of a good relationship becasue of SPS-or thinking I have SPS- but it worked out because I didn't give up. Take care.

[Notdoneyet]

Although it may well be that our issue isn't as import to some women as it seems to be to us, once a guy has been burned by it, it will always be in the back of his mind should he find his so to be losing interest in physical contact.

Thus far sinceI have become on my own, I haven't found myself visiting any of my female friends long enough for it to become apparent.

I never initially felt it was a problem with my relationship with my ex until she used it as the dagger to finish off our twenty year marriage.

However, I'm pretty sure I will recognize the problem should it ever occur again.

[gone]

I spent my whole life not worrying about my size. It took the last half of my marriage to start down that road.

I think I still love my wife and enjoy being around her, but the one hard lesson I've learned:

I will NEVER, never ever tell or show a woman anything I don't want repeated or described (in detail) to her friends. When an individudal woman is in a group of friends, she is absolutely incapable of keeping anything, no matter how personal or intimate, to herself. She will share everything.

John

Edited September 10, 2011 by retr0john

[flander]

Yeah maybe I do but so do you.

I'm a nerd with the same job for several years and that's only attractive to gold diggers. Since the ex takes the lion's share every month, what's left only attracts the really desperate ones. Even then, its usually years between dates.

[Karamazov]

I am sorry for your situation flander. Do you ever think about doing some sort of volunteer work. When I was a down and out drunk and drug addict I started AA and then some volunteer work where I met some honestly good people and it led to me meeting my wife. Not to sound naive, but getting outside yourself really helped me.

It also helps to think of what you do have. I have a wife but because of my felony have not been able to get a job that pays a living wage despite having an education. I face rejection after rejection and am looked at sometimes like a social pariah. I'm just saying, we all have things going for us.

I really hope you don't stop trying and find what you're looking for.

As for retrojohns bold generalization that a woman is absoultly incapable of not gossiping to her friends...I hope your wrong. Maybe I'm naive but I see it differently. Infact my wife dosn't speak to her best friend anymore because she was always talking about our relationship and asking about details which put my wife off bigtime.

[flander]

i don't have enough spare time to get my own life straightened out, so I sure as hell don't have any time to waste volunteering.

[Karamazov]

Well if what your doing isn't working, doesn't it make sense to try something else. I wasn't suggesting you waste time, that would be, well, a waste of time.

[nearlydead]

As John says, any woman a small man sleeps with will talk about it with her friendos. We are that womans "small" man story for the rest of her life.

Same old same old, the story' and expeirences dont change year in, year out.

The only cure if you have a small penis is to "stop caring what anybody else thinks, says or feels" basically just get over it.

The same go's for anyone with a deformity or scar or disability that cannot be changed. The choice is suffer humiliation with ignorance or misery. Life just aint worth living, unless you're stupid or lucky.

[Karamazov]

I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility.

--John Ruskin

[Notdoneyet]

As John says, any woman a small man sleeps with will talk about it with her friendos. We are that womans "small" man story for the rest of her life.

Same old same old, the story' and expeirences dont change year in, year out.

The only cure if you have a small penis is to "stop caring what anybody else thinks, says or feels" basically just get over it.

The same go's for anyone with a deformity or scar or disability that cannot be changed. The choice is suffer humiliation with ignorance or misery. Life just aint worth living, unless you're stupid or lucky.

Works for me. I still am willing to offer a helping hand to most who may be in need. But that is the extent of my "caring" for others.

[humbem]

I agree completely with the original poster. I'm beginning to believe that our penis size is not the real problem... it's our lack of confidence. If you find the right person I'm pretty sure they'll accept you for who you are. Granted, you better be willing to go the extra mile in bed to keep her satisfied, but ultimately it's worth it. Anyway, I'm trying to believe what I just wrote 100%. I recently found a girl that I think is totally worth fighting for, and we've now had sex twice and she still calls I REALLY WANT TO THANK THE ORIGINAL POSTER FOR YOUR ADVICE TO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR SIZE!! I was questioning whether or not I should do this to ease my anxiety, but looking at it from her perspective, that has to be a huge turnoff. The last thing you want to do is have her analyzing and thinking about how big you really are. I think I'm just gonna focus on getting her off by any means possible, not mention my insecurities, and see how that works. I'll keep you all posted on my findings. Oh, and a note for you... I met this girl through a mutual friend, and through what I consider very reliable word of mouth have come to find that she was somewhat promiscuous when younger and one time bragged about being with a guy with an 8-1/2 inch penis. My point: if I can make this girl happy, I'm pretty sure we all have a chance at being in a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship To be continued...

[Karamazov]

Good for you humbeb. Dont possibly sabatoge something good because of insecurity. I know its hard to do, we really want confirmation that they are satisfied, bjt if theyre not bringing it up then assume they are. I kept it up and it always worked for me. I am under average in lenth and girth but have always had great girlfriends and am now happily married. stay confident man. Congrats.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

Karamazov, you are an intelligent man, and I believe I read that you are a physician? It's these sort of qualities that really nullify the importance of penis size. You are much more desirable sperm donor than a freakishly endowed pornographic actor. I'm glad you have a wife and child and are happy and not dwelling on this subject. You are also below average, yet you are successful. People should take inspiration from you. Although you lucked out with your wife, I'm sure there are plenty of women that aren't retarded enough to reject more people like us based on something that doesn't even really determine ones manhood.

[Lover]

Hello guys...

I am a woman, just waiting for my topic to be approved that I posted. However, I must say that I am not a virgin. I am over 30, divorced with kids. I have had a couple long term relationships. One was with an unusually well endowed man, he wants me back, in fact, but he was not kind enough to keep me. Currently I am in love with a guy with a very big heart. I choose the man with the very big heart over the man with the very big ..... anytime.

He knows I am experienced.

I hope he can trust me long enough to let our relationship grow with an open mind. I hope that you will do the same and not think that only a virgin could love you. In this age of pornography on our telephones, it is not like a virgin woman would never have seen the unusually well endowed men. It is so much like actresses. They can get silicone breast implants and be way outside the norm and women will think they are not good enough for being in their unique natural state. Enjoy your unique natural state. Work on having a big heart and maybe someone like me will notice you. I noticed my friend because he gives a lot of time to charities outside of work. I have deep respect for him and he is good in bed. I am just here wondering why he is so sure women will reject him and how I can help overcome that fear. Because he is amazing and I love him.