Cr3ativeNam3 Posted June 21, 2012 Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 My girlfriend's sister, age 14, is cutting her wrists because she is in a verbally abusive relationship with another girl, age 16 (this relationship is a dating relationship), and she smokes even though she shouldn't. My girlfriend is scared for her sister, because she doesn't know what to do for her. Her sister does have a counselor, but nobody knows if there has been any type of progress made, and I assume none has because she is cutting and etc., and I am scared for both my girlfriend and her sister, because I don't know what I can do, or what to do to help either. Their parents know of the sister's cutting and relationship with the other girl, but I am told they don't know about the smoking and abusive tendencies of the sister's girlfriend. Can anyone help me figure out what I can do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 21, 2012 Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 Welcome to the community, Cr3.It's very kind of you to show such concern for your girlfriend's sister. I'm sorry this situation is upsetting for you. Would it help if you confided in your parents about this? Maybe they could help with approaching the girl's parents. She's a minor and if you feel the situation is dangerous, I think it's okay to speak up. I hope you and your girlfriend can support one another in this.Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MortalTech Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 What your girlfriend should do is be there and try and let her sister realize that she is there and understands. What would make things worse is making it seem as though the cutting is werid or something not normal people do, trust me it makes it worse. maybe the girlfriend and what she does is the trigger of her cutting? Your girlfriend just needs to stand by her sister.Cutting is a way of copeing with intense feelings(depression, anxiety,etc.) so something is triggering her to feel like that and as a relief she cuts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cr3ativeNam3 Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Irma, both our, my girlfriend and I, parents know about the situation. And actually, my mother mentioned that I try and find something online, and that is how I found my way here.Mortal, my girlfriend has continually expressed to her sister, that the main problem IS her girlfriend, or at least to the extent of what we know has happened and what the sister is doing, that might cause her to cut.I'm confident in my girlfriend that she is always trying to be there for her sister, and I trust what she says, about her sister being in a problematic relationship with another girl, and that she is partake in illegal activities, being smoking constantly.Another thing that just came to mind was, that the sister was in a small garage band with a bunch of her school peers, but they recently fell apart, possibly that be a minor trigger apart from the cigarettes and verbally abusive girlfriend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Mortal' date=' my girlfriend has continually expressed to her sister, that the main problem IS her girlfriend, or at least to the extent of what we know has happened and what the sister is doing, that might cause her to cut.[/quote']Have you asked her why she does not break off the relationship if it is unhealthy for her? If it is an abusive relationship, she may be coping by self-injuring, but this response may also be a pattern of coping.These are concerns that she could bring up with her counselor. She may need help in order to get herself out of the relationship if leaving it proves to be difficult for her.In a case such as this, Cr3, there may be limitations to what you are able to do, aside from supporting your girlfriend and her sister. You've said her parents are aware of the situation and this is good. You might try to encourage the girl to be open with her parents and her counselor about what has been taking place, but ultimately what she does with that is not something you can control. I do hope she gets help for the struggles she's been having.I also hope that you consider the effect this is having on you. I hope you will reach out for support for yourself too. I'm sorry this situation has been distressful to you.Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MortalTech Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Yes from experience that could be a trigger. Something like that happened with me and it triggered into chain-smoking and cutting. To her sister anything can be percieved as a trigger. and there are times when no trigger is involved. its hard to explain it unless you have been through it or are going through it. Like i said anything could be a trigger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Hello,there is an insightful post about SI on this site:L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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