Fear of STDs

[helen3]

I'm new here and I think this could be my group coz according to my psychiatrist I suffer from general anxiety disorder.

I've always been afraid of stds and especially hiv. n june I was tested for hiv and syphilis, negative both, and actually there was really no need for testing, it was all in my head.

Two days ago in a party I went to a toilet and, I still don't know how I could've been so stupid (a bit drunk), but since there was no paper and I had to wipe somehow (and no one to ask for paper) I took a small piece of toilet paper that was on top of the trash can (dry but probably used). Then I realized what an idiotic thing I had done.

I posted a question to a std clinic webpage and they answered that what I did wasn't hygienic but there's no risk for stds since microbes that cause the stds and hiv die when exposed to environment.

But in spite of this logical explanation now it's a new fear that makes me so anxious.

I go to psychiatrist because of my fears and I take clonazepam and sertraline but today the meds don't help me at all with this new fear. And I really hate myself for doing something so stupid and creating a new motive for my fears

[IrmaJean]

I'm sorry you're feeling so distressed, Helen. Are you able to distract yourself from worry? I enjoy walking my dog when I feel stressed. I find it helps to relieve tension. Lately, I've been learning to meditate too. I always feel more relaxed after that. Do you have any relaxation techniques?

[helen3]

Hey, thank's for support.

Unfortunately I don't much about relaxation techniques, what helps me a bit is to watch movies and read books coz then I forget my worries for awhile.

My psychologist told me to do sports but alone it's not very helpful. I try to go out every day and see people, being home alone is the worst.

But sometimes it's hard coz I feel so tired.

[IrmaJean]

I struggle with anxiety from time to time. It can be very distressful. Have you tried any cognitive behavioral therapy? Sometimes fears can be learned because we associate bad feelings with our past experiences. Or is this more about intrusive thoughts? Thoughts can be irrational and distorted too. Talk therapy can be helpful in addition to your medications. Am I understanding right that you have both a psychiatrist who prescribes medications and a psychologist who you talk with about your concerns? Has anything been helpful for you thus far? I hope you are feeling compassionate with yourself today. Take care.

[helen3]

Thank's for the support! I've heard about the cognitive behavioral therapy but so far my psychologist hasn't said anything about it. I try to talk to her about my fears but she just changes the subject and makes me draw pictures of my family. I don't know

anything about psychology but I don't feel any better after the session.

I've read so many specialist answers that I can't have hiv or other std but I keep on "but what if".... I was thinking of going to another psychiatrist? I feel that the meds are helping me now a bit, the only problem is that they make me feel tired.

[IrmaJean]

There are many different types of therapeutic approaches: psychoanalytic, humanistic, internal family systems, cognitive behavioral... It can take some time to find a therapist who matches well with your needs. Orientation can play a role too. CBT is useful because it can understand how our thoughts and feelings can effect our behaviors. It's possible that your current therapist practices with a different approach, though, and that's fine too. Do you feel the therapy is helping at all? I'm glad your meds seem to be helping now. If you speak with your psychiatrist, perhaps he/she can adjust the dosage to help with the fatigue? I'm not well-versed about medications, but from what I understand it can take some time to find what works best for you. I hope you feel better, Helen.

Take care.

[helen3]

Thank's, I'll talk to my psychologist, maybe these things just take time.