Fluoxetine, day by day.

[ThePetPerson]

*Finally* got a prescription, and by this point, my psychiatrist was actually quite keen to hand it over. She started me on 20mg of Fluoxetine (Prozac) because it is the only antidepressant certified for use in under 18's, but she warned me this could change as we go along, and my dosage will be increased too.

I'm writing here to keep track of side effects and so anyone can add any input or share their experiences with this, or other, medications.

Filled my prescription and took the first pill with my lunch around 1pm, as I plan to do every day. Ate my lunch, felt quite sick about an hour later, have felt nauseous all afternoon. Although I'm not one for eating, I have had 0 appetite even for chocolate which is unusual for me. I started feeling quite tired a few hours ago. Who knows? Maybe I'll get more than three hours sleep for once! If only the positive effects kicked in as fast as the side effects.

[LaLa]

That's a great idea - to keep this track here!

If only the positive effects kicked in as fast as the side effects.

Oh, yeah...

Good luck!!!

[LaLa]

What about the day two??

Hugs,

L.

[ThePetPerson]

It's just occurred to me that the thread title is no longer relevant

Day two!

Went to sleep last night around 2am, woke up at.. 9am!!! 7 hours sleep! Amazing. Unfortunately, I woke up still feeling exhausted and quite sick, and still no appetite, but I ate a little lunch then took my pill. After about half an hour, I was wide awake. I'm still wide awake. Still feeling quite sick and don't feel like eating much at all. Funny thing, physically I feel bizarre, I am aware of my entire body, I feel every little movement, everything that touches me, I am constantly aware of my clothes on my skin. I have never felt like this before.

Hugs to you too, L!

(I've just had to edit this twice because I made spelling errors and left things out. Hope forgetfulness isn't a side effect )

[LaLa]

So... at least we can say two positive things: You are now able to sleep more and you don't experience an increased apetite as side effect as you've been worried to .

As I have no experiences with any SSRI, I can't give any feedback on the effects, but describing everything to the doc could be, hopefuly, enough - she should have the best "insights" .

If you'd like, we can change the title of the thread for you. (I'm not sure if I can figure out how , but I might ask Mark...)

When do you start in college? I hope that now very soon and that the worst days due to side-effects will pass before you start your study...

Thanks for the hugs ... and, please, accept one more !

L.

P.S.: I'll write more soon (not here ).

[ThePetPerson]

I guess those are good points so far! I am really glad that my appetite hasn't increased!

Thank you (or Mark ) for changing the title, that makes more sense now.

I start college next Wednesday and I really hope the side effects will at least be less intense by then.

All hugs are welcome

(I look forward to it )

[LaLa]

It was very probably Mark [he was on-line]; certainly not me .

Oh - Wednesday already!! (At least better than in North America, where they started this Monday...)

But; hey, kid; what about doing to bed and sleeping; it's so late!?! (Sorry, couldn't resist when it occurred to me... [To explain my rather weird humor: I mostly like the funny using of the word "kid" in the context of you going to college!] )

Have a good and peaceful night (in case you'll read it before sleeping)...

[ThePetPerson]

It's creeping up, quite nervous about it!

It's not so late when you're a teenager, especially when you have insomnia

Today, can't stop yawning but I'm not tired, other than that, nothing noticeable.

[LaLa]

It's not so late when you're a teenager

This is a good point: I was able to manage with much less sleep when I was a teenager. The last several years it's not so easy at all... And I've heard the same from few other people my age, so it's probably not something specific for me.

can't stop yawning

Nice coincidence with a recent article, which...

(Sorry to others than ThePetPerson; I know it's impossible to understand because of the missing context, but... )

Added later:

OK, so here is the biggest part of the context for everybody (sorry for posting so much out of topic...):

http://news.national...-health-science

[LaLa]

Now to the topic: Try not to be nervous - I hope it's possible as you're probably nervous because of your expectations, so it might help to remind that docs say that the first two weeks on an AD are usually without visible benefits... I know it doesn't sound very positive/optimistic, but... what else one can do than wait and try to be patient?

I hope you have some pleasant activities to do (?)...

[ThePetPerson]

I have had a terrible headache for two days and no painkillers will shift it I don't know if it's the AD but it's frustrating and painful.

Day four and five, no noticeable side effects, other than possibly the headache. Looks like I'm in the clear now!

It's difficult, waiting two weeks, not knowing if something is going to work, and feeling worse in the meantime. Just having to hope.

I don't really have anything to do I could really use some distraction at the minute.

[LaLa]

I search on the web and found several people reporting headaches with fluoxetine, it seems that mainly the first few days. It's also on the list of possible side-effects. But that you probably already now...

Here are some quotes from pharmaceutical info; they say you should consult your doc:

Fluoxetine Side Effects

Check with your doctor if any of the following Prozac side effects continue or are bothersome:

Common: Anxiety or nervousness; decreased appetite; diarrhea; drowsiness; headache; increased sweating; nausea; tiredness or weakness; trembling or shaking; trouble in sleeping

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself....

Call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

- severe blistering, peeling, and red skin rash;

- very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors, overactive reflexes;

- nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite, feeling unsteady, loss of coordination; or

- headache, trouble concentrating, memory problems, weakness, confusion, hallucinations, fainting, seizure, shallow breathing or breathing that stops.

I suppose that the main problem about the distraction is that many distractions (as reading, ...) are "unavailable" when your head is aching . But isn't there something "easy" you could do which would be also good to relax? Maybe a slow, peaceful music, or sometimes something funny or interesting on YouTube - it's not something you'd have to focus on too much.

Or... here is an "infinite" source of interesting and funny stuff - maybe you know it:

http://www.boredpanda.com/

Maybe it would be also fine to go for a walk in a park - fresh air and nature are always nice... (?)

And I can't omit one thing; don't forget to drink and eat sufficiently, even though you don't have much appetite. Being too weak and/or mainly 'dehydrated' could make it worse, I suppose...

Hm; it seems to me I haven't help much , but ... at least, give a try to "bored panda" .

[benji]

I avoided medications for a long time because all of them took so long to work and everything i read said you often had to try more than one before finding what worked. So no immediate fix = not worth it. But then I did try. antidepressant #1: fail. antidepressant #2: fail. mood stabilizer #1: fail. mood stabilizer #2: seems to actually be providing some mild beneficial effects, though has completley messed with my short term memory and word finding skills. It's debatable whether the trade off is worth it. antidepressant #3: recently upped to theraputic dose. I have been noticing positive effects recently, even if i still have my moments. I never seem to stay down for too long at all. This one just might maybe be working, but maybe it will take awhile yet to be sure. So it's worth trying maybe, and just sort of see it as a long term thing. It may take awhile, but if you weren't going to be doing anything else anyway, might as well take a pill a day in the meantime.

[LaLa]

Hi, Olivia,

what's new? Have you seen your doc? How do you feel these days? And how was your first day at college?

Hugs,

L.

[LaLa]

I'm glad that I saw you were logged in here on Wednesday...

I realized that you might feel "discouraged" by my many questions and our pressumed expectations - maybe you choose not to write anything instead of writing bad news or "ignoring the questions you don't feel like answering". Please, don't forget that you're not "pressumed to write such and such things" here; you may share (here or on the blog) anything that could be somehow helpful to share.

Maybe you just don't have enough energy for writing. It's just me who has always felt like writing (at least one of my several typical types of texts...), no matter how bad/unpleasant (or even how pleasant) my feelings and thoughts have been, so I shouldn't "expect" that writing would work for everybody as one of the best ways of "coping"!

What about your drawing? Have you tried (again) to make a picture instead of a text when you needed to express yourself but words didn't come?

[ThePetPerson]

I just want to die. :'(

[malign]

Livvy, are you okay? If not, can you call someone?

A fair number of antidepressants have the side-effect of making suicidality worse, especially when used by young people for the first time.

Can you get someone local to help you, please?

[ThePetPerson]

Mark, I'm not okay. I don't dare call anyone or tell anyone though. The earliest I can get hold of my regular therapist is Monday now.

[malign]

What are you afraid of, Liv? What could be worse than maybe wanting to die badly enough to do something to yourself?

[ThePetPerson]

I don't want anyone to tell my aunt the truth of how I feel and I don't want to end up in hospital. I'm terrified of everything...

[malign]

Sweety, you need help. Bugger your aunt (not literally, of course); you need help.

No one wants to end up in hospital. It's just that most don't want to end up dead, even more.

What more can I say than that I had to make that choice myself, once. I can't "make" you make the same choice I did; about all that I can productively say is that I don't wish that choice on anyone, or the feeling of being at the point where the choice needs to be made.

{If that made sense to you, you really do need your head examined.} ;-)

{But you know what I mean.}

[LaLa]

(((Olivia)))

Did you tell your aunt about the AD? If yes, than it's easier - what you feel now can be just called "a bad side effect" - you don't need to go into details about it when talking to her.

Would you feel the same resistance to tell your aunt that you need help if you had, for instance, your leg broken? There's really not a big difference (except for that a broken leg hurts less and is probably less dangerous)... Or is it a general problem that you think that every problem of yours would "bother" her? If yes and if you really can't overcome this problem, then contact your boyfriend - you mentioned his mother was supportive...

I've been there, too, and I know how this desire to die is strongly interfering with rational thinking about any help or solutions . But... if you only could succeed to feel, at least a bit, how we - and not only we, your on-line friends - love you and want you to live and feel much better... You also wish to feel much better, you have your dreams and aims, ... they are all still there, in your head, just inaccessible to you in these moments, but you may at least believe it while you don't feel and know it - and how could you kill them, kill your future, your potential, just because of some awful days of suicidal feelings? Sorry; "how could you" may be inappropriate to say... But I feel it that way; it's not reproaching, there's nothing to reproach. It's just an urge to make you keep yourself alive...

What do you think now when you remind the words you wrote about trying medication - that you knew it could cause suicidality but you felt strong and decided to stay rational and face it if it comes? Maybe you could read that thread to see "what you think when you're not siucudal" and relate to it...

Maybe your "robot mode" could be helpful now; to follow the rational and "right" thoughts despite those that influence your feelings...

Please, when you don't sleep, keep 'talking' to us, at least a bit... (At least it could be a form of 'distraction'.)

[LaLa]

I'm terrified of everything...

If you'd like, you may 'vent' about everything that terrifies you.

You've mentioned the hospital... It probably sounds like a stupid question, but what is so very bad about hospitals? If it could lead to make you feel better, then... Why would it be better for you to be 'home' and suicidal than in a hospital but not suicidal?? Isn't it only a fear of the unknown? Or a fear that "what would people say"? (You don't need to explain to anybody the reasons of hospitalizaiton, btw.)

[LaLa]

I'm sorry I have to go out for few hours now, but I'll come back asap.

But before leaving:

Remember; when you came here, you were concerned about your dad - he was ill, needed medical help but refused it, and you didn't want to tell anybody, was scared of possible consequences, ... It was all very complicated, but... teel me now; isn't it, in the end, better that you finally decided to tell people about the situation? I suppose he was hospitalized. Isn't it better for him?

And I have to add: I don't think that hospital is the only option for you. Please, don't see our efforts only as "they want me to go to hospital". No; we want you to be safe and to feel better. The hospital is one of the options; a secure and trusted in our eyes. So it would be probably better if you chose it. But there are other safe options. Just... "survive". I don't suppose SI can really help... For me, in the moments when crying couldn't help anymore, it was just "doing nothing". Lying in my bed, overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings, but... safe because doing nothing. It often ended with apathy - better than suicidality...

How is it in your case?

[IrmaJean]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. How are you feeling now? I agree with the others about asking for help if you need to. It's okay to do that.