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My issues moved to here


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Ok so I am moving part of my stuff to here. I recognize I have an issue with depression. I normally keep it in check with my mental warehouse and meditation. It leaves to question what happens when I can't focus.... before I made my mental warehouse I almost just put everything down and just started to walk. Wherever I fell over was where I would just end it. I have rediculous abandonment issues and feel like the world would never notice me if I was gone. I have a 6yr old boy who I know would miss me but my mind finds way to justify me being gone. I have enough deep rooted stuff to mine for gold. I am here because I was told I need an outlet to just tell everyone and seek resolution or something. I don't like talking about my issues but I am willing to put my pride aside if it helps. Irma has welcomed me enough and responded enough to warrant me reaching to see if there is a place for me.

As i stated before I don't cry... I can't though I can tell my body wants me to. I am the black sheep of my family for both my mother's side and my father's. Even though they say I am I feel like I am not welcome to either side. I feel invisible to the world. Now instead of doing my usual I am trying to take a stand against it... let's hope I can.

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