IrmaJean Posted October 27, 2012 Report Share Posted October 27, 2012 So you write music as well? That is awesome. It's wonderful that you were able to find some moments of serenity doing something that you enjoy. You have a good attitude moving forward with therapy and that is a great place to start.How long did it take you to become comfortable with your therapist and be able to truly open up? I've never been one to talk about what's wrong with me so I'm worried that I won't be able to just relax and talk. This is what frightens me the most.I struggled for some time to feel comfortable. I spent a lot of time squirming, closing my eyes, looking at his shoes, the rug...It wasn't easy for me. I was also struggling with social anxieties then (not so much now) and this made things that much harder. He was very patient and kind with me. As I recall, it took several months. The breakthrough for me came during one session when I revealed something very personal to him, which left me feeling vulnerable, and he treated me with gentle care and compassion. Then I began to trust him and opened up even more. I think the key is emotional honesty. You might start by expressing to your therapist your concerns and fears about opening up to him/her. My therapist also allowed me to write him notes, which helped me immensely. I hope things go well for you. I hope your therapist is caring and supportive.Also, what kind of dog do you have? I have two cats and they are what keeps me going on those very bad days. I'm an animal lover to the core. They do more for me than I could ever explain with words. I love animals too, and cats are my very favorite pets. I hadn't had a dog since I was a child, though, and my daughter had been asking for years so this past February we adopted a rescue dog, a beagle we named Willow. She is a joy. I agree that pets can be very comforting. They always accept. They always love. They're warm and fuzzy. There's nothing like having a little warm kitty curled up in your lap. I'd love to hear more about your kitties.Take care, Joe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needingsupport Posted October 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 I love that you chose to adopt a rescue dog. I wish more people would make that same choice. Willow is an adorable name! I'm not sure I'd have the energy to keep up with a beagle though. Cats were always a perfect fit in my life because they're so largely independent, but at the same time they always accept love and give so much in return. I have a beautiful dark colored tabby with a tan belly and streaks of orange on her face and back. Her name is Sasha and she is an asthmatic kitty but I have learned how to control her symptoms through her enviroment, without the use of medication, with the exception of a rare attack. My other kitty is named Meeko. She is a 16lb, adorable tortoise shell. Silver, blue-grey with blotches of tan all over her body. She almost doubles the weight of Sasha so it's not much of a fair fight. Luckily they get along very well. They are both lap cats and very affectionate. Spoiled too!Well today is the day I go to my doctor. I forgot about it when I woke up and when I remembered, I felt this wave of fear wash over me. I don't like that even the thought of just talking to someone scares me this much. I'm also worried that it will be weeks before I'm able to get an appointment with a therapist. I know I shouldn't worry about this stuff and I try not to but I still do. Thank you for sharing your experience with your therapist. The way you described it is pretty close to how I pictured it going for me. I'm scared that I won't be able to talk about things, and if I do manage to find enough of a level of comfort to open up, I worry I won't be able to truly convey the severity of my problems. I also worry that I won't be able to find someone who is compassionate. Since I can't afford one and am hoping to get a referral to one covered by provincial health care, I feel my options with be cut short and ill be stuck with what I'm given. On a positive note, I ordered that book you mentioned and look forward to reading it. Take care Beth,Joe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Your kitties sound very nice. I hope you enjoy the book!Were you able to get an appointment with a therapist?Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needingsupport Posted October 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 I was able to get a referral to a place that is covered by health care, thankfully. So now I'm just waiting on them to call me so we can set something up. I was visibly shaking during my doc app. and I didn't even have go into detail. I'm going to have a rough time in therapy. How are you and your studies going? Were you affected at all by the storm? We got the remnants of it here but it didn't amount to much.. Take care,Joe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 It can be challenging talking openly about our deepest pains. You took a huge first step and this is great. I hope you get an appointment soon.We had strong wind gusts here and some rain for several days, but this AM, all seems calm outside. The worst of the storm came through on Monday night. It was scary, but the damage here is minimal. NYC was hit very hard. I'm taking a course in Social Psychology right now, and I'm working toward getting my degree in psychology. It's exciting and exhausting at the same time. One great thing that came out of my therapy was a new awareness of purpose. I also discovered a new area of intelligence that I had previously been unaware of for my entire life. Amazing, huh? Potential is always there, if we are open to the possibilities. Take gentle care, Joe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 I struggle with facing my fears as well. How can I ever get better, if I CAN'T change? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needingsupport Posted November 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2012 That's awesome that you found such a positive direction for yourself to take after your time in therapy. You're absolutely right how amazing it is that potential to better ourselves is there if we can take the time to recognize it. Knowledge is power. I can only hope for a similar revelation in myself during my time in therapy. I know that I have the ability to strive for a greater existence I just haven't been able to achieve it yet. I'm looking forward to therapy and facing my fears so I can leave the past behind and focus on the now. I feel like I've gained a few small steps in the past couple weeks and talking to you has truly been an inspiration. I'm glad you weren't overly affected by the storm. We weren't here either luckily. It is quite sad how many lives were lost and how many countless people were affected by its wrath. Good luck with your studies, Take care,Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 3, 2012 Report Share Posted November 3, 2012 How are things, Joe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needingsupport Posted November 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Things are looking up slightly. I go back to work starting Monday, so I'm happy and looking forward to that. I also have my first appointment with a therapist on Wednesday. I'm extremely nervous for that, obviously, but it will be good for me, so I remain hopeful. I wasn't so nervous for it until I got the phone call and it became official. Anxiety hit me pretty hard when I hung up from that call! I'm happy to finally be tackling these issues in the appropriate manner though. The therapist I'm going to see specializes in a few different therapies including cbt and mindfulness, which are the two I'm most interested in. That makes me feel slightly better about going but it will still be deficult. How are things with you Beth? How's the puppy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 8, 2012 Report Share Posted November 8, 2012 I hope work went well for you. It must feel good to be back at work. You also went to therapy on Wednesday? I hope this went okay. I am having a good week, thank you. Pups is doing very well too.Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sean11 Posted January 1, 2014 Report Share Posted January 1, 2014 hey NS, alot of things you are saying were similiar to my situation, I definately recommend this book ' Healing the Shame that Binds you' by John Bradshaw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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