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Confronting someone about your small penis in reality....


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Depression can cause a very bleak and dark outlook on life, dvn. It may be hard for you to see right now, but things can improve and you can feel better. Can you go and get help for yourself? Please reach out to someone. People do care. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. :(

Do you mind my asking what kind of music you write?

Edited by IrmaJean
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Ending your life because of a few inches of flesh, a few milieters of blood, or a few cubic centimeters of volume, is quite possibly the most awful decision that you could possibloy make!!!! You have a small penis BUT you are clearly mentally and physically competent enough to contribute more to society than any arbitrary large penis man! Find things that interest you, and focus on the positive things in life. Just note that if you kill yourself, you are only doing so for the wrong reasons. Be grateful to be in your position. I'm assuming you are well off enough to feed yourself and have Internet access. Your life is ideal relative to even the most well endowed third world citizen. Sometimes we face tradeoffs. Sure you can sulk and wallow in your own misery, or you can make your life dignified

I'm not going to lie, I am of above average intelligence. I've competed with engineers, mathematicians, and physicicists in all of my classes and always did well. Now if someone were to offer me a large penis in exchange for my intelligence, I''d most definitely say no. Although there are clearly always going to be people experiencing the best of both worlds, there will always be people on opposite ends of the bell curve so I urge you to excel in other activities. Accept that sex is not your strong point and be confident otherwise. I am sure that you will be able to find a partner that way. The majority of women will appreciate a confident lesser endowed man although in some cases, your good qualities may have to outweigh your physical shortcomings.

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See that's the thing though. I could accept myself better if I was good at something. I try to write music and play guitar but I'm not very good at it. intellectually I'm inferior as well, I have add - I was 19 when I finally graduated from high school. I am definitely in a better position then some, know, and I'm thankful, but I'm still a loser - with mental illness, small penis, no talent. I have nothing to offer society. Honestly though, I do think I have good qualities, Ive been told I'm sweet, nice, funny, cute, and humble, and my sister says everybody likes me. But what good will that do me. Nice guys like me finish last or don't finish at all. I am an inferior human being by all means.

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Some girls like sweet and nice. I know I do. What about giving some power and light to the wonderful qualities you have?

I've noticed that you're beating yourself down a lot, dvn. I hear your distress and sadness. Can you challenge some of your negative thoughts? Sometimes it helps to reframe them so they aren't quite as harsh. You feel inferior. The feeling does not make this a fact. A lot of us struggle from time to time. It just means we're human.

Have you considered therapy?

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I don't know, when I talked to my sister about my problems she said I shouldn't feel bad becuase I'm one of the best people she knows. I talked to a friend about my size problems and he said that "that even if I was only 1 inches, a girl should feel happy that she's with a great guy like me". so i don't if they are just telling me things to make me feel better or my negative thoughts are in my head. I do think im likable guy though, a lot of people seem to like me, even when I talk to strangers they like me.

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"I have nothing to offer society. Honestly though, I do think I have good qualities ... I am an inferior human being by all means."

I'm sure even you hear how you're going back and forth. I think being a nice guy is something to offer to society; it's quite clear that some guys never master it. So, okay, maybe you won't "change the world", but who does? Change one or two people nearby; that's as much as anyone gets to do. Does it involve risk? Maybe, if you take rejection that way. But nobody gets no rejections ... and expecting them makes them more likely, don't you think? People pick up on a guy hating himself, and why wouldn't they? They figure he knows himself best. Unfortunately, that's often not true ...

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  • 3 weeks later...

The craziest comment I ever had was a girl I met in va beach. We had never been to bed. I was soon to return home. She sent me a few pics of her breasts and you know.

I was worried about her seeing mine....4.75 and skinny erect...soft with foreskin over it. Its a one inch nub. I had just gotten divorced. I would tell her. I can't send pics...security clearance stuff..bs...her pics were hot...I had to get it over with...I dreaded it but I can try....I have shaved down there for years...I took a picture of just thighs and penis....so clean...so smooth.

Her reply was fast and furious, " you asshole..I am a school teacher! Don't ever send me a pic of child porn to my computer! Your a pervert.

I sent her a full nude of me and said. Not child porn...its me! I guess I have my answer in further dating.....she felt so bad but I didnt respond anymore ...I did want to ask her what age child did it look like...probably didnt want to know. Lol!

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I am probably in a similar situation as you regarding girth, a bit more length but the girth is what really matters. No disrespect intended but that story cracked me the fuck up.

I am currently in the Army in Korea so hopefully the local women there are used to seeing needle dicks. If not I'll just go for a hooker.

Luckily for me the Army basic training and field showers now have dividers or curtains so it is easier to not get seen or I probably would have been in a few fights by now and getting chaptered out.

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I've been trying the upfront approach with dating. I have a thin body build, and I'm a little below average heigth. I just tell girls that it's 'proportional'. It didn't matter to one girl, but that probably had something to do with her being asian. My insensitivity fucked that one up before it even got going. Another girl that I met on a dating site that was only 21 didn't really care. She was so small that I couldn't even penatrate her.. and my girth is only 4.2 at the thickest point. I would have had to been rock hard, was fucked up.. wasn't happening :( Pissed that one off too before I got another chance.

If there's a point to this post, it's to learn to not give a shit. The constant redicule of society is a bitch, but I do my best to become numb to it. It's the hand I was dealt and I'm not about to have surgery on my dick. I went a long time not even trying to date because of shame, but it turns out the main problem is just my personality. I dunno if I will ever be in a relationship the way I want (haven't really tried enough times so far.. a good relationship isn't easy to find no matter what you have), but there's at least a chance to get laid once every now and then.

Current dilemma, someone I work with is after me hard. Older woman that's had a couple of kids.. Extremely attracted to her but I'm afraid of the potential aftermath if she doesn't accept my size. Definetly the type to talk shit. Not gonna be so easy to not care if that one goes bad. I may just wait until I line up a new job before I try that one. Haha

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I went out to a cocktail bar tonight with a good friend.

I was having a merry old time. That was until the table of women next door to us exploded in laughter.

There are no prizes for guessing as to what they were laughing at- those of you who know me will know I absorb this stuff like a sponge.

They were laughing at a guy in Taiwan who has been divorced by his wife 'explicitly' due to his small penis.

They thought it was a hoot. I'm not going to repeat all the foul phrases they used.

But, and this is a nice gem, the proprietor came over to ask them to quieten down and they excitedly told him the story and said he should name a new cocktail called 5cm Dick or Tiny Cock-tail after the story. And to applause, yes applause, he agreed !- they agreed on 5cm Dick!

I am not making this up.

So if you come to London next year and find '5cm dick' on the menus in cocktail bars, you can say you met (albeit online) a guy who witnessed its inception. Glory be eh?

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Jessie, if only I was there....I'd make them feel terrible about their behavior. If you read my OP, I totally made that girl feel realy stupid, and awkward. We the lesser endowed, need to stand up and fight and maintain dignity.

Also, you are extremely unlucky in terms of your social and physical placement. I've only encountered penis talks a few times, but you seem to encounter them on a regular basis.

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I rather feel that if I stood up to them in that bar I wouldn't have had much dignity frankly.

As an adult I havent encountered penis talk THAT many times in recent years

I have heard 2-3 from my current colleagues (either at work or in pub)

2-3 at comedy clubs

2-3 times in bars generally

I heard most of the size conversations at college- I dunno, 15-20, times? Drunk girls usually.

i remember a Sex and the City episode galvanising a lot of chatter when I was pretty young- I remember that really upset me.

Before the age of 13 I think was penis talk was from guys my age or a bit older.

Most of my anger/depression comes from TV or the internet these days.

You know its funny, only yesterday I was thinking that in the past 3 days, other than this site, I hadn't heard that much penis talk in my life recently- and then this happens!

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I disagree, approaching the situation confidently and openly is more dignified than hiding and being afraid. If it were me, I'd probably say something that would ultimately traumatize them for life, but that is my approach. They may be good people otherwise, but sometimes some indirectly harmful words are necessary in order to provide an alternate perspective on life. I'm not going to be explicit here but I would basically make up a phony story involving gore and assuming these girls aren't horror movie buffs, they would get sick tot heir stomachs to the point of having to leave the bar. Problem solved.

I've made people feel bad about their small penis comments. Awkwardness on their part, and humour on mine. Turning depression into laughter (in my case) without humiliation...

When you are in this position, you ought to develop a twisted sense of humour. I found my sense of humor to be the best therapy of all. It's definitely made me more confident around women and people in general.

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really? surely they just would have told me to chill out and stop being a small dicker loser wouldnt they?

how would that be dignified for me?

they were in a cocktail bar, drunk, and outnumbered me- and my mate would have crucified me too- and would have likely then realised I was small

Dignity City

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See my pm (may be a tad graphic for the board) Basically, the end result would not be a laughing matter...a verry depressing one in fact...and ultimate 'buzz kill'

And I'm not saying this is an ideal approach, but it exposes otherwise 'normal' people to something they would never consider being exposed to on thier own.

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I'm totally with Thermo here. I would be doing the exact same thing. And who cares your buddy knows your dick is small. My freinds know mines small. Hell, they're some of the ones I had my group sessions with and if you remember they never passed any negative comments about my size. I try to avoid stuff like this. That's why I mentioned in another post I've been screening movies. I really can't afford to put myself in that kind if situation. But if one comes up like how Jessie described it you have to stand up. It will feel better no doubt. Maybe you'll come to find some confidence from that alone. Who knows? All I know is whenever I'm in that situation next I really don't care who I'm with if its my girlfriend my friends her friends or even my mother. These people get away with this shit because no one opens up their mouth. How is this any different than making fun of a guy who has no legs. It's fucked up and we can't help it. So fuck em.

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i would be mortified if my friend found out.

And I hate it that the friends of my exes will probably know my size.

Even though I will likely never bump into theses people again I hate that they know

And our issue is secret, having no legs is not a secret- changes the dynamic

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I'm 26 and have had so many friends in my life from school, uni, I've travelled the world, so have so many girl friends and yes we talk about sex but never have we talked about the size of a mans penis. I wouldn't a clue of my best friends men's penis's. You'll find that it's just not discussed like u think it is... Talk more around the man what he was like, what you did in bed and positions but size isn't on the tip of the tounge as many men would believe.

My last boyfriend I was with for 2 yrs been broken up for 6 months now and I couldnt tell u the size of his penis Cos I actually dont remember...., not because we never had sex, we did all the time but it was just there.. Its hard to explain

many woman wouldn't even know weather size matters or not because it's not a main factor in relationships and I know there's all this material written by woman on Internet forums etc but they are most likely bias as they have probably been hurt by men with a smal penis and write out of vengeance or out of ignorance. and it's usually the behavior that's a deal breaker and not penis size.

There's so many other factors that cone into what makes a man a man and I'm not trying to undermine anyone's feelings but it becomes such an issue because of the importance you guys place on it. Not saying its easy with a horrible comments made constantly but you can't measure your own personal self worth on a bunch of skanks sitting round a table drunk. Half those woman would never of even seen a 'small' penis and would have absolutely no clue as the extent of the hurt behind such loaded comments. Before I met current man (4inch) I had no clue that this distressed world even existed.

Hard to write what I'm saying would be better if had you all on the phone or in person but woman think size matters because that's what we are fed but in reality I know a decent woman wouldn't turn away due to size. The problems arise out if the mans personal feelings and 'shame' they feel about their size.

Fuck wat ppl think and don't let a screwed up, racist, homo phobic, unjust world dictate your own personal lives. Ur the ones who've gotta Live it so don't let those woman control your thoughts and actions. Take control of ur lives and don't measure your self worth on what other ppl think otherwise you may as well pass the script over to them.

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Take control of ur lives and don't measure your self worth on what other ppl think otherwise you may as well pass the script over to them.

This isn’t only about women...man make fun of other man with small penis as well, we are inferior to women and man.

Plus sex with small penis sucks for man and women. My penis keeps popping out constantly cause its just to short and we both get frustrated (and yes this is in doggy, I cant even try other possessions at all) you have no idea as a women how frustrating and humiliating that is for man. I don’t care what other people think that much really, problem is I personally know my small penis is useless and damaged my life in every way possible, people reminding me of that every day is just icing on the cake.

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Ok well how about making fun of a cancer patient. It's rude because no one knows who's affected so no one really does it.

I feel most anxious when I'm with my girlfriend. She's the only one i care about pleasing and I obess over it.

Being in those group sessions with my friends and a couple girls really helped. They made my small penis feel normal. Like I've said before no one put me down and I did all the same things they did. And remember one girl who was pretty attractive was upset I didn't get to have sex with her and wanted to in the future. So I mean that's a positive. 2 guys who were alot bigger than me and she was still interested. But then again I wasn't shy. I figured if I'm in this situation I might as well go all out.

I would do so much better dealing with this if I was single. I have no doubt in my mind I wouldn't have a problem getting laid. I didn't for the recent 5 months I was single. I realized once I got in shape it changed everything. Confidence works. Don't get me wrong pulling down my pants for someone new is always terrifying. Even worse if I was drunk and I can't function properly.

So maybe that's why it's easier for me to not care about opening my mouth. Having a small penis sucks but I really don't care just as long as my girlfriend is extremely happy with me. And I don't feel convinced of that.

I've been a liar most of my life. Only recently have I started being more honest and it's really changed my life. Although I'm far from feeling truely happy with myself I'm light years away from where I was. I think if we don't bullshit women about who we are an be a little more upfront we will do alot better.

It's hard and you have to remind yourself of anything positive everyday because we know how easy it is to spiral out of control. Which I'm VERY guilty of lately. But dude take MY story and look at the positives.

You might be an inch shorter than me but that means you have to fight an inch harder. Maybe the solution is only to actually have a bigger penis. I don't know but don't stop fighting.

Jessie I don't know exactly what u want. Wether it's just gettig laid, finding a GF or jut feeling better about yourself but there's no doubt in my mind that all of these are possible. I've had little victories in all categories that's the only reason why I believe truely happy is even possible.

I've been cheated on.

I've been told by people in school girlfriends said my dick was small.

I've seen an ex get blown out by massive dicks on film (sadly who was my HS sweetheart)

All the same social garbage everyone else has to deal with

And I still have hope.

Most of this is balancing our obviously crazy minds. This makes you crazy. If you don't think your fucking crazy I don't know what to tell you. So am I. I know I'm crazy. That's how my last relationship ended. For being a nutt over

My dick size.

I'm sorry this turned into a rant and I'm sure I'm way off topic. I'm just tired of reading the same shit without anything ever changing. In general.

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It's great that your eye is open to hope. It's also great that you look at the positives.

Change can be a one step forward, 1/2 step back type of walk, so there may be times you'll find yourself back in the same mindset that has caused you pain in the past. When that happens to me in my own struggles, I pick myself up and try again. The point being that you keep trying and moving forward. If you allow the potential for positive change, I think you've already taken huge steps forward. Change is hard work. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

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My ex wanted to spend her life with me. She wanted us to focus on our future, save money, buy a house and get married. I wanted all of thy too but my mind was so poisoned. I became so depressed and miserable she no longer wanted to be with me. She was with me for over five years by the way. I don't think she really understood the extent and root of my misery until lately but all she knew is I was just a miserable person. So really do I blame her. No of course not. She didn't leave me because of my penis that I'm sure of.

There's a positive example at least for me. Had I not let it bring me down so much I'd still be with a girl who wants me and loves me.

Thing is not doing that all over again with the girl I'm with now. It's so hard. So hard believing something you just don't see. Being shit on so much in the past has

Made me so obsessive over being amazing in bed. I really can't settle mentally for being average or good. I have to do whatever it takes. I mean really it's something every man wants to see isn't it? I can deal with her having bigger in the past just as long as whatever I'm doing now is the best shes ever had.

I don't know how I can honestly put in the best effort possible in life being a father, a husband, with work if I know my future wife has had better sex with other men. And I really don't want to be a sub par father and husband. That's why I continue the grind.

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