BPD and Hating IT

[Tsunami]

I have BPD and have read things other places stating that BPDers are narcissistic and manipulative. Is there any other negative term people can use to add insult to injury? How about we have fragmented egos, and have to focus on our self because we don't have one? I don't feel like I'm the most horrible person out there, but having that diagnosis goes a long way in leading me in that direction. I abhor it.

[IrmaJean]

I hear you. I can understand how labels and descriptive words can feel devaluing. I don't care for labels myself, either. 'Human' fits best for me.

You're a human being, Tsunami. All of us struggle from time to time. All of us have stuff. I always hope that we can work together to help support one another through life's challenges.

Take care.

[malign]

Well, it gets really complicated when you add in popular misconceptions, and the fact that two disorders, borderline personality and bipolar, can legitimately be abbreviated BPD. {To the point that I'm not sure which one you're saying you suffer from.}

If you're going to listen to labels at all, it's important to keep them confined to where they're intended to be useful: to planning a treatment. Too, there really is no "bad person disorder" listed in the diagnostic manuals. Every single person has the potential to be a good person; to my mind, a disorder is something that primarily harms the person who has it.

It's only when you start reading stuff written by people who would like to claim that all their problems come from someone else's disorder that you get the kind of value judgments that you're reading about.

[Tsunami]

I hear you. I can understand how labels and descriptive words can feel devaluing. I don't care for labels myself, either. 'Human' fits best for me.

You're a human being, Tsunami. All of us struggle from time to time. All of us have stuff. I always hope that we can work together to help support one another through life's challenges.

Take care.

Thanks for your reply. It does feel davaluing and it sometimes adds to the shame and stigma of what I have. I sometimes get lost in being BPD, especially lately, but am starting to feel better slowly, and I hope that I start to feel human again sometimes soon. Thanks!

[Tsunami]

Well, it gets really complicated when you add in popular misconceptions, and the fact that two disorders, borderline personality and bipolar, can legitimately be abbreviated BPD. {To the point that I'm not sure which one you're saying you suffer from.}

If you're going to listen to labels at all, it's important to keep them confined to where they're intended to be useful: to planning a treatment. Too, there really is no "bad person disorder" listed in the diagnostic manuals. Every single person has the potential to be a good person; to my mind, a disorder is something that primarily harms the person who has it.

It's only when you start reading stuff written by people who would like to claim that all their problems come from someone else's disorder that you get the kind of value judgments that you're reading about.

Malign,

Thanks for your reply. You make a good point about value judgments. I am trying to get past my label because it is getting in the way of me getting better. I am making progress, so I think that it doesn't matter where I was as much as it matters where I am now. I don't know if that makes sense. Thanks so much!

[malign]

Where we've been is useful, as history: lessons learned and such.

And where we might go is exciting; all the potential paths, "where would you like to go today?" ...

But where we are right now has to be okay, because it already is.

I made a joke long ago about how, once you have a label given to you, it's hard not to walk around as if the label is stuck to your forehead and everyone can see it. But the reality is that you're still you, and people only see the you that interacts with them.