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What soothes you?


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I've been thinking about this. I like to think about positive ways to help myself. I'm sensitive to stress and anxiety and I have always had a high need for comfort. I made up a list recently and thought it might help others to think of ways to comfort themselves. Maybe we can help one another with new ideas. There is a lot of pain here and hopefully it helps to take a breath from what hurts.

Listening to beautiful music.

Taking a walk outside.

Spending time in nature.


Spending quiet time with loved ones and friends.

Expressing my feelings openly.

Writing poetry, expressing positive thoughts.

Writing in my blog here about anything that is on my mind.

Does anyone have other relaxation techniques you'd like to share?

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I find reading to be relaxing, but only factual books. Fiction takes up too much of my energy when I'm stressed. Facts calm me. Also letters and lists, great to read. Spending time with animals is particulary relaxing, taking care of them, playing with them, especially dogs, they sense how you're feeling and you can cuddle them. I tend to hate cuddle from people, there's always so much complication involved in human interaction, but I love doggie cuddles. Not really a relaxation technique, but I suppose a healthy way for me to work out my frustrations is exercise, and my absolute favourite exercise is horseriding!

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Livvy, how interesting that facts soothe you. Maybe it helps to feel things are organized? I agree that animals can be very soothing. :) I hug our dog and I do find it comforting. I do think that exercise can be relaxing. I never had much motivation to walk until we got our dog. Now I walk daily and I love it.

Lana, home is comforting, yes. Familiarity and feelings of safety can be very soothing.

Medlem, I love pudding. :) Lately my favorite is rice pudding, but chocolate is yummy too. I also enjoy watching tv with my girls.

Thanks so much for sharing, everyone. :)

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IJ, I am easily soothed. I like the Sun, wind, rain, rainbows. My dog, my cats, the squirrels that run around the yard and trees, watching the fish in the tank, I also like pudding, brownies, cake, yogurt, clothes fresh from the dryer. I thought it was strange (maybe not so much), I like facts too. When I had each of my children, almost died, my house burned down and I saw my granddaughter born I recited facts to myself to stay calm.

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I can remember a very bleak time as a young person when the phrase "two parallel lines never meet in space" was a very great comfort :( I know I was trying to separate out from very confusing primary relationships and get some kind of authentic identity.

Currently I love to tinker and invent things. As long as I don't go overboard, keep it light and playful, I can really feel plugged in to life when I come up with a new way to do something.

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Do you have any pets, Greeneyes? I love animals. I'm glad you find peace in your faith too. That is wonderful.

I have been thinking more about this and realize I forgot something. I find that I am also soothed by my own love and comfort. When I offer this to others, I feel it in my own heart too. Maybe that is the best comfort of all.

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  • 3 years later...

I'm glad you are able to soothe yourself, Klingsor. This does sound like a good way to wind down and relax. Calm the body, calm the soul. I think it's good to think of ways to take care of ourselves and bring this to awareness.

I feel soothed when I am able to slow things down and connect with softness and beauty. Sometimes the world feels too chaotic and I need to step back, take a breath, and nurture my need for calmness. I feel more self connected and balanced when I do this. Right now I am listening to zen music. Relax and recharge.

Thank you for sharing.

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Like The Pet Person, i prefer to read nonfiction. Ironically, i find it to be a better escape.

I've noticed that most fiction these days (and nearly all cinema and TV scripts) are written for the social elite.

No, i don't mean the Downton Abbey set; they're nearly extinct as a species, which is why that show is popular.

Nor do i mean the 1%, the people with unimaginably-high incomes; they are only one part of the social elite,

and not necessarily even the most important part.

No, most fiction is written for the people -- and every community has them, even the inner-city --

who have all the status, all the attention, all the adulation.

Celebrities are part of this group, and sports stars (including, or maybe especially, the ones from small towns).

The good-looking young women. The alpha males of all types.

Hipsters and fashion-leaders, even those with low incomes.

They get all the attention, they get all the party invitations, they get all the sex.

I've yet to read recent fiction that doesn't presume that these kinds of people are The Norm.

People like me are clearly too boring to be the topic of fiction-writing.

It's the 21st-Century equivalent of all those Thomas Hardy and Somerset Maugham novels,

set entirely in a world of prep-school graduates who had "help".

I'm not feeling it. Gone Girl had a good plot, but it was clearly written for People Who Aren't Me.

So nonfiction's a better escape for me.

If i read about Russia or Iran (my two most-recent books),

i can identify more with those people than with the privileged Cool People of modern fiction.

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Some films i can recommend for people in this Forum (i.e., if you're hurting):

Educating Rita -- when you feel like your college education is worthless

Chariots of Fire -- when you feel like an outsider and you feel like your effort doesn't matter

My Dog Skip -- when you feel like nobody loves you (warning: keep lots of tissues on hand)

The Elephant Man -- when you feel unattractive and lonely

Carrie -- when you remember the oppressors in high school (no, Breakfast Club: it wasn't the adults)

All About Eve -- when you're a woman who's been backstabbed by bitches (yeah, you know it happens)

Thelma and Louise -- when you're a woman who's been abused by asshole men, or you sympathize with one

The Godfather Part 2 -- when you envy powerful people

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i don't think i've seen any of these pictures (yes, not even the godfather) except "thelma and louise", and i gotta say, i really hated it. "abused by asshole men"? idk what their husbands supposedly did to them, but did you forget about that whore cheating on her husband, shortly before driving off a cliff?

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I don't agree with your assessment of Thelma and Louise, R.

I remember the controversy around it when it came out, and i think the criticisms were mistaken.

I am dismissive of male-bashing masquerading as feminism, and Thelma and Louise wasn't that. You had at least one character (the cop played by Harvey Keitel) who exemplified positive male qualities. The husband who was cheated on (like the Sperm-Donor who sired me) deserved to be cuckolded, as as i'm concerned; and i think the word "whore" is unnecessarily harsh. Thelma and Louise wasn't an anti-male movie; it was a movie about two women who didn't take no shit.

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Yeah, R: if your definition of "whore" encompasses anything other than giving sex in exchange for something of value, and if you only apply shame to the "whore" and not also to the "john," then yeah; your definition is outdated. Not saying this to shame you, only to give you a suggestion about how to improve your thinking.

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Thank you, Resolute, I appreciate it :).

I almost never feel like talking about myself, my present. My problems are stupid, pathetic and don't matter. It's always just me who causes them, so it's just what I deserve. The only real problem is that my close-ones suffer (or are sad, annoyed, frustrated, ...) because of me and that in spite of it, they prefer me alive, so I can't help them by "leaving"...

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