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Chronic aching


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My sister has for many many years been aching chronically inside the chest and I have also a couple time the latest years been feeling this ache. But my ache hasnt been chronic. This is probably due to that my sister was older than me when we experienced our traumatic childhood. She remember and I have blocked most of it. The latest years has been very difficult for me.

We both have had times where we only give up. We are so tired inside.

This chronic pain is like an open wound in the middle of the chest.

What can one do to ease this chronic pain? is there anything one can do?

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This kind of pain is, in most (if not all) cases, really psychosomatic = due to psychological problems, mostly depression (which can be even so called "hidden" - with only somatic symptomes). So the only "right" thing to do is to treat that psychological condition...

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Hi Lala,

thank you for replying. I am diagnosed with depression. When life gets too tough emotionally, I feel this when my thoughts/stress are prolonged. The pain goes away when able to not think about my problems/sadness.

I read about chronic fatigue syndrome but I guess now that psychosomatic and chronic fatigue syndrome are two different diseases.

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Pain, whether physical or psychological, is the body's way of telling us something is wrong. Because of that, it is important that we listen.

If you feel physical pain, it is important to have that checked by a medical doctor, a physician. Only they can rule out an organic cause, and that's important. Certainly, we can't guess whether the cause is something psychological, and you might miss something significant and more importantly, curable. Waiting and hoping your pain will go away is completely the opposite of what it's trying to tell you.

Not all pain is due to a physical problem, but still, ignoring it completely solves nothing. It would still be trying to tell you something.

Personally, I have had panic attacks that feel like something gripping my chest. That doesn't mean that's what you or your sister have, but it's an example. My panic attacks were trying to tell me just how worried I was about what was happening in my life, which was something I was trying to hide from myself. Once I could acknowledge that I was stressed, I could work on ways to take care of myself. If I had just ignored them or tried to keep going the same way, they would only have got worse.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is about fatigue rather than pain, but there are chronic pain syndromes such as fibromyalgia. From what I've read, doctors are still divided over whether there is a physical or a psychological cause for such problems, so again, it makes sense to talk to a doctor (or several) to see what they can do to help.

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Hi malign,

Thanks for replying. I can relate to what you say about being so worried about what was happening in your life...I think this is what is going on with me too because when I dont think about the distress and sadness I am experiencing now, concerning this bf of mine, the heavy aching chest pain goes away. I get anxious about being abandoned too. This fear of abandonment have become a bit better though, my thoughts and actions arent desperate to avoid being abandoned even I know it wont make the pain any less painful for me if I "would" be abandoned. Grief and loss has been a big part of my life, starting early. I dont do anything anymore to work on things unless the other person do the half job. I will never be a woman who love too much anymore.

My sister is diagnosed with chronic pain along with other stuff, (after what I read together with her in her journal once. ) Not sure if the diagnose was named chronic pain but it was part of the problems.

I have checked out physical causes and they have never found anything. But I do have back/neck problems that I get treatment for again now. Its true what you say about fibromyalgia. Thanks for explaining the chronic fatigue syndrome.

I must try take control of my spinning thoughts and stress.

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I feel something in my chest when I am grieving or fearing loss. My heart aches and feels like it is being tugged. I don't know if that is similar to your experience. I agree that any kind of pain is something to listen to and to have checked out by a physician.

I hope you were able to free yourself from anxious thoughts today, Greeneyes.

Take care.

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Hi IrmaJean,

I think that what you are describing ( like the heart get tugged ) is a part of what I am feeling too. But also when I try and try till I cant try more I start to ache like this open wound. Like 5 days ago I felt I tried getting some attention but got hurt. I see that I am not getting loved even he said he loved me and it brings out this burning wound why isnt he loving me when he said so. Its much like the grieving and pain in the book about the woman who love too much. I have just started reading in it again a little. I am/have been one of those woman and it really hurts to give so much of oneself and get nothing back, for years. I am done trying.

It makes me sad and so tired both emotionally and mentally. Why make someone a priority when the other person doesnt make you a priority back.

Well, I am kinda more anxious today because its the day before he will contact me, if he does at all, he said so but who knows.

Thank you IrmaJean, I really hope things wont be so bad tomorrow as I am afraid of, I am mostly scared of saying to him I feel bad and wont have sex right now that day, either he gets annoyed and vanish or he will stay.

Take care too.

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