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Hopefully, my voices shall pass. This is all a new and disturbing experience.

I am not sure whether it is unhealthy to name them, but I have named them.

I have been hearing voices for around 4-5 weeks, gradually increasing in frequency up until this point, when they are with me over 50% of the time. First to develop was the voice of a small girl, who awoke me by screaming and crying. Her name is Felicity. Second was the voice of an older man, who appeared by conversing with Felicity. His name is Frank. Along with this pair is a group of babbling voices, and nothing they say can be understood other than the odd word. These are external voices. I have one internal voice, who is clearly distinguished from my thoughts, who is my own voice, and as such, I have named her Olivia.

Felicity is a commanding character. Nasty and aggressive, her speech mainly consisting of "kill yourself", "that's a good place to jump from" and things of this nature. She likes to appear in public, and often likes to talk over my college lecturers. She laughs and mocks me.

Frank, who I have named Frank because of his honesty, has more depth than Felicity. He is logical and very insightful, and I am able to hold conversations with him. He hates me but is very calm about it, seems to feel he is doing good. He is very good at rationalizing my self-loathing, self harm and such, he is good at reasoning and creating ideas.

Olivia is me, echoing my own thoughts at inappropriate times.

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Hi Olivia :)

I'm sorry for these struggles :( :(

Forgive me if you have talked about it elsewhere, but are you currently in therapy? It's not always possible, but a good therapist can really help with strategies in situations like this.

I am no expert, but sometimes saying mean things to ourselves can be an attempt to gain control in an out of control situation. I myself used anger in this way for a long time; it was my anchor to stay sane by :( Therapy, friendships, better circumstances, all helped to release the grip this style of coping had on me.

I hope your situation can get more tolerable soon, Olivia. Keep talking here if you can and if it is helpful.

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