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My name is Ada from New York and learning the academics to become a licensed Mental Health Counselor. I will begin by telling you that I was married for 25 years injured while working with mental health substance abuse clients. After two re-constructive shoulder surgeries anchors holding my shoulder my spouse decided to emotionally abuse me. It began by insults, humiliations, yelling, even to the point of calling the police on me and informing them that I wanted to commit suicide. Mind you while all this was happening I was still focusing on my career. I was placed in a room with mental health individuals for six hours trying to understand why! a retired police officer would abuse his authority. My daughter broke down in tears and I held her through all this while my spouse just stood accusing me that this was my fault for having an emotional affair with my physical therapist which has never happened.

He continued to verbally accuse my friends close to me of adulterers and that I was in the right path with them. He went into my computer printing my conversations with friends talking about men and girls stuff which he has heard. He even placed voice recorders in the house to listen to my conversations over the phone. Psychotic behavior, even when we were both attending counseling mind you. He utilized his head injuries as an excuse to case me emotional harm, never physical since he knew that my Dr. was aware, my physical therapist, and many more professionals attempting to make sense out of this insanity that I was going through.

I attempted to seek my own counseling since I am currently out of work due to my disability which gives him the advantage of me not leaving the home we own for over 20 years. I began to seek counseling then, he began to withhold the funds that were to go to the counselor again, enforcing his rules but, overall I stand strong as a women with family history of domestic violence and now understanding more than ever the challenges many face with financially strap to the abuser. How does one remove oneself of this situation?

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Hi Ada and welcome to the forum:)

I am so sorry about all the things you have been and still going through. Your husband is obviously emotionally abusing you.

I would suggest to leave him but I also understand your circumstances.

I guess I would just try to take one day at the time knowing that the abuse won't last forever. Hopefully you can get your degree soon and become self sufficient.

I am working with women in domestic violence and know how manipulative abusers can be.

Take care of yourself so you can move forward to achieve your goals.

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