pedophilia

[silentmist]

I'd just like to say that being an adolescant is testing and will bring out a persons vulnerabilitys as we reach out to whatever will bring us comfort in trying to regulate our discomforts and anxietys. As a child who has had his boundarys abused it's understandeable that you have developed this interest in some children. It would be so cool if you could find someone to talk to about this who is more locally availiable. Perhaps a reverand/priest ... you don't have to be religious for them to want to help you.

I don't know if this would be legal in your country Eric but I've been thinking about what Danny said in regards to aversion techniques. They were about deterence by making negative associations with these thoughts being linked with children. Perhaps a more positive approach would be to expose yourself to erotic imagery of adults. Human nature being what it is responds better to incentives rather than punishments. This is possibly why prison and suffering has been so ineffective as behavioural modifiers over the millenia.

Using pornography can be risky in and of itself but considering the context it may be worth considering.

I could go on and on and on but I'll call it quits on this post for now.

Later

[DannyLewis]

Eric

Don't ever be worried about asking others for help. Even if it is in an anonymous setting. I agree with silentmist however, I hope you can find someone locally that can help you. I'm proud of you for not MB'ing to thoughts of them. I know how difficult that can be. We are here to ask questions of, and although we may not have all the answers, we can try to provide a little help.

On one hand, I agree with silentmist about the adult pornography, but on the other hand, I don't. It can switch your thinking to more appropriate aged females, but one thing they teach in treatment programs is that it teaches people to objectify women as nothing more than sex objects to be used and doesn't build a healthy perspective of the opposite sex. A different technique, which is used in programs, is writing out a long appropriate fantasy of being in a relationship with a female, loving and caring for each other, sharing a special day with each other, then making love after the date. You then record that and listen to it while MB'ing and reward yourself with an orgasm. Well, anyway, like silentmist, I could go on for hours... I know this is a lot to process at your age, but it can prevent trouble in the future. silentmist is correct, prison does nothing to deter a person.

Take care

[help_wanted22]

Hey guys, it's been a while since my last post, but I feel the need to do so again. I had been able to not think about the kids during masturbation for a while, but in the past few days the urges have come back. They seem to be a little stronger before, or at least the same strength. I even got to the point that when I was at a family gathering near christmas time, granted I don't know most of them, I was getting slightly turned on by one of the little girls there. Any advice? Feel free to ask anything of me as well. Thanks.

[silentmist]

Hey Eric

Could you see any resemblence of the girl to her mom and dad ?

[help_wanted22]

Not particularily.

[roiisgurl]

a pedopfile is some one who is a step away from becomin a child molester.

i mean is that wut u want to be labled as for the rest of ur live a sex offender? i mean plz forgive me if i am being a lil harsh but u must stop thinkin like that cuz NEVER is it ok to think of a child n a sexual way NEVER.

i mean i know that right now its just a thought a fantasy but wut will happen when it becomez reality. i mean u cant say for a fact that u will never do wut u fanasize about cuz u dont know. wut will happen if the child were to hug u? wut would happen if u n that child for a second would hold each other for a hug i mean would u b able to control urself? i will be honset with u when i was 6yrs old my step dad started touchin me n placez where u dont touch a lil gurl n at the age of 7 he did something to me that has left me scared for life. n it went on d touchin n ......etc. til i was 14yrs old n it was then that i could not take it ne more n i reported him. he is now in prison they gave him 44yrs because this was the second time that he had done something like this. that is y i am tellin u to get help n get it quick cuz u r just a touch away from ruinin ur life 4ever plz get help. it is not impossible to get over this u can do it with help of a therapist u just have to want to

Edited December 31, 2008 by roiisgurl

[help_wanted22]

Some of them have hugged me before, I admit I enjoyed the contact to an extent, but I was able to control myself easily.

[help_wanted22]

I know I have been absent for a while, but I have returned. The feelings are still there, and lately the urge to think about them during masturbation has been to strong to stop. I am still able to control the urge when around the younger kids, however they are still as, or even more alluring then before. Any advice would be appreciated, please do not outright bash me though, it won't help anyone.

[The_Voice]

One thing you need to remember Help_Wanted, is that self control is very important to all humans, but even more important to you. Your feelings and actions could very well destroy a persons life that you find beautiful. I am a victim of abuse, its a very hard thing to get over for some, me, I doubt I'll ever get over it. You should talk to someone about your feelings, even if its a therapist or a good friend, or a stranger on this site. Know that there are people who want to help you get through the tough times and that will listen to your thoughts without judging.

One last thing, I am not saying its right, but the Prophet Muhammad took a 6yo wife, She was said to be his favorite wife. Times may change, but people as a whole are harder to change.

Stay in control of yourself help_wanted, stay calm, and stay sane.

[paula]

Do you know help_wanted22, This whole thread started of with a member on here who were just like you. Thought like you and came back with the same question's & answer's as you, or near enough!

My best bet would be for you to start reading this thread from the beginning, and see what action's at different stages, helped that person.

You know this is wrong and I'm not going to criticise or condemn you. I've learnt, that doesn't get anyone, anywhere! But I strongly suggest that you re-read this thread right from the start, & see how this other person coped!

[help_wanted22]

As it says in the title, my situation is getting worse. At this point I quit my tutoring job in order to avoid the younger kids i was speaking of earlier, even though i still look at them from time to time. However, something new has come that caught me totally off guard. I have had a couple dreams lately, within the last week, about my 11 year old sister. She doesn't help matters always walking around the house in nothing but an untied bath robe that tends to expose her bare chest (decent size for her age), and the only clothing she does have under it (underwear). I, of course, have not acted on the urges at all. However the dreams are continuing, and i have even pleasured myself a couple times to her body. I know this is wrong, I know I should stop, any advice?

[UnsureLifeJon]

Hey Help,

I went through a situation similar to yours. For me, it was the innocence that really attracted me to them. When I was your age (I am 18 now), I was a swim coach. I feel terrible to say this, but I did in fact have fantasies with some of the kids. For another year and a half, I taught swim lessons at the local YMCA. It made it very difficult to not think about them in that manner. I never acted on my sexual fantasies, and now I have out grown my feelings.

It took a while to out grow, I think the fact that I never acted on my urges, helped me get through it.

If I were in your shoes, I would try my best to control the urges. Make sure you are not in a situation where you might not be able to control those urges.

I know exactly how you feel, you know it is wrong yet you cant help it. Try to console a therapist, they can probably help you the best with your situation.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Helpwanted_22,

You or your parents need to talk to your sister. She needs to cover up at home because walking around that way is extremely sexually provocative, especially for a young man like you. There is a difference between being a pedophile and being sexually provoked. At your particular age it is easy to be sexually provoked or stimulated.

Tell me what you think, please.

Allan

[help_wanted22]

We have told her, the thing is, it is the dreams that are scaring me the most, I hate saying this because I don't know what to make of it myself, but they sorta predict the future...and that is not something I want to be doing.

[paula]

They will only predict the future, if you let it!

[silentmist]

Hey help_wanted

I've not read the entire thread but it's not appropriate for a pubescant 11 year old girl to be walking around the family home like that.

Your sister is now well into her puberty and should be learning to cover up, not just for you but for herself as well. She has to learn what is appropriate in our communities otherwise she will be attracting sexual predators who will abuse her.

It is very popular for females to tell males that they are 'dirty' or 'perverts' for having a sexual reaction to thier bodies when they expose them but you will have to learn to see that for what it is, a game that they play. Your going to have to assert yourself knowing that your sexual reaction is perfectly normal and healthy as she is a physically developing female into sexual maturity. Your sister is not a child nor an adult, she is an adolescant. Because of this she is going to have to learn to cover up, at least when she knows that she may be coming into contact with males, regardless of whether they are related to her or not. Thats an irrelevance.

I've also read HelpWanted that you are still having sexual feelings for children (pre-pubescant). I'm wondering if perhaps you should be spending more time with them so that you can learn that they are not what you feel they are. So that you can remodel your mind into desexualising them. There would be a risk to that approach so it'll have to be thought about honestly and with someone who will know whats going on so that they can keep an eye out. With your feelings Help Wanted you are a risk to the children that you are attracted to and that cannot be ignored.

That last sentence is a little harsh ... most people are a risk to children in some way, shape or form. So please don't get too upset by it.

Edited April 4, 2009 by silentmist

[anna86]

:mad:it seems is all you ever do is judge ppl i havent seen one post on here that seemed like you did any good. do you just sit at home all day and try to give ppl worse anxiety than they already have? im pretty sure anyone that comes on this sight is in great pain and feels alone as it is,it sure doesnt help when you stick your two sence in, in fact you prob make it worse.yeesh chill out everybody has there probloms and im guessing you do too or else you wouldnt be on this sights so do us all a favor and quit judging like you are anybetter than the rest of us:mad:

[paula]

Erm... Who the hell are you telling to give a break! Am I right in thinking that you are trying to criticise me here or what!

Before I go shouting my mouth of, I would like you to clarify what you mean by your post?

[malign]

Please, everyone, slow down. Take a deep breath, and think whether what you're about to say is helpful. That's what we're all here for, helping.

[paula]

Helping! Malign I am going through a crisis time at the moment with my life & minding my own business when I get someone who is trying to get at what the fuck knows! But I have asked her to clarify this! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS GOING ON!

I will not sit back and be called when for once I have been good & kept my fucking mouth shut, well no more!

[paula]

Erm... Excuse me miss judgemental, but I don't think that I am any better than the rest of anyone, & if you want to carry this any further then here is my email paulacooper44@googlemail.com I'll be waiting!

[anna86]

"Do you know, what is it with these people and Pedophillia? I mean, has the world gone stark raving mad?

It seems to be coming more of a problem now a days than when I was a kid! Now its more like kids that are having these fantasies about kids?

What is the world coming too" THATS WHAT I MEAN AND I COULD GO THROUGH ALMOST EVERYSINGLE THREAD ON HERE AND FIND LITTLE COMMENTS LIKE THIS ON THEM ALL IM SAYING IS IF THIS BOY WERE REALLY A PEDOPHILE THAN IM SURE HE WOULDNT BE WAISTING HIS ON AN ANXIEY FORUM!!!!SO OBVIOUSLY HE NEEDS SOME HELP WHICH HE IS SEEKING ON HERE!!! SO THATS WHAT I MEAN YOU SEEM TO BE VERY SELF RIGHTEOUS I HAVE OCD AND AM GOING THROUGH BAD WITH POCD AND ITS REALLY SCARY....ITS A EVERYDAY LIVING HELL!!!! TO THINK SOMEOF THINGS THAT I THINK, AND TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU MAKING ME FEEL WORSE DOESNT HELP AND ISNTTHAT WHAT THIS FORUM IS ABOUT??

[paula]

[HEY YOU WANT TO READ THROUGH THE THREAD PROPERLY BEFORE YOU GO SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OF!

ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO COULD CAUSE A LOT OF SHIT ON A SITE LIKE THIS SOOOOOO BE CAREFULL!/FONT]

[anna86]

chill out i was just giving my opinionlike you do so much...right??? im not going to play like im in high school again and have a word fight with you. i have enough sh*t going on in my life.

[malign]

Ladies, please,

That's enough. Flaming other people on a mental health site doesn't seem worthwhile. No caps, no swearing at each other just to make a point, please. I understand you both feel hurt, and have reasons. But, you need to calm down, because that's the only way you'll ever be able to discuss it rationally. Or, stop discussing it, you're not changing each other's minds.