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My boyfriend of 3 years is still living and sleeping with his ex. Help please


pinktiger
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I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years in January, but he is still living and sleeping with his ex girlfriend. They have 3 kids together and was together for 12 years. He said it had ended 3 months into our relationship but iv had her telling me they are still together and sleep together(physically) iv even found videos on his phone of them having intercourse. Iv confronted him and told him too stop doing it and too move in with me but he says he feels bad on his kids he has too find the right time. He stays with me 2 nights a week maybe 3 if im lucky. We have intercourse 2/3 times a week but in my head when he doesnt have intercourse with me its because he is having it with her. I really dont know what too do as iv fallen in love with this man and he has been there for me when i lost my dad to muti organ faillure last year and my children got taken into care 2 days after my dads death, i also got diagnosed with biopolar 3 months ago. Please im on my own as my family would never understand my situation if they did they would only tell me too leave him. I would just find it so helpfull if someone could relate too what im going through.

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Welcome to the community, pinktiger.

I hear your distress and upset. I'm sorry for your pain and loss. :(

I understand you are committed to the relationship with your boyfriend, but his behavior doesn't seem to demonstrate the same kind of commitment. It doesn't sound as though he has ever let go of his other relationship. How do you feel about this?

I hope you have some type of support there. Are you seeing a therapist?

Take care.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 1 month later...

Awww babes .. don't let this "man" this player take you for a foul no more hun .. you can do a lot better than this you deserve a lot Better than this ... Just walk away before it gets anymore time wasted on this useless player and before it gets even more messy .. just walk away he will more and likely tell you she means nothing to him and its you he loves and he will change ect

BUT!!! just walk away ... There are so many so many of guys out there that will love you for you will treat you like a princess you deserve to be treated like you do need not this waste of space player playing on your emotions go and find a real guy that loves you for love and will treat you right and makes you totally happy and forget this guy and learn from your mistakes babes .... I wish you all the best

It's some you time I think .. leave him right now walk away change your phone (cell am I right) number join a gym if you like get yourself back on tracking feeling happy inside again and then go and find yourself a true knight in shining armour riding on a horse that will rush you off your feet and walking in heaven

Best of luck babes .x

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...

You love him, love makes you silly. The problem is by nature males are not monogamous, although some of us can be and try very hard. But most men, if we can get it in two places, we will go for it. How well do you know this other woman? They have kids together you said and you have even talked with her, who is she to you? There could be a very simple way to solve this too. Does the other woman know about you?

My suggestion if she is aware of your relationship, and you are aware with hers, you could team up. If the other woman would go for it, perhaps scare him into thinking you are all going to be together, maybe it is what he wants. If you are still with him, you must not think it is that bad he is sleeping with the other woman (on a different level I mean) So maybe you can live with it?

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